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Picturesque coastline of an exotic resort, warm sea, soft sand, bliss… and children. Do you think the vacation is doomed? When psychologist Ilona Bonivell had her fifth child, she too became afraid of family trips. And then she came up with 5 rules that will be useful to everyone who wants to spend the summer with children and still have time to relax.
School holidays are approaching, and most of you are already planning your long-awaited vacation. Well, who does not dream of a perfect family vacation by the sea: children build sand castles, teenagers ride bodyboards, and parents enjoy a glass of wine under an umbrella from the sun?
Now let’s get back down to earth and face reality: queues at the airport, luggage problems, stomach infections, arguing teenagers, and other horrors. However, traveling with children taught me something, and I have compiled a kind of guide on how to best spend a precious family vacation.
1. Choose something simple
We are often fascinated by photographs of distant exotic countries, forgetting about the harsh reality — a long trip, which is often quite difficult to organize. Travel time takes away precious vacation days and tires us out. And the way back turns out to be too long to calmly adapt to everyday life at home.
The best holiday we had with kids was in the French Alps — it’s only four hours from home by car, and in August no one goes there. This trip turned out to be the cheapest in our lives — no comparison with prohibitively expensive winter vouchers to ski resorts.
2. Ride light
There is nothing worse than spending the first two days of your vacation looking for your missing suitcase in a country where no one speaks your language. We have introduced a simple rule: one medium-sized suitcase for two children, so that it is easy to keep track of luggage. Forget about fashion shows — five T-shirts, three pairs of shorts and one pair of trousers are usually enough. Girls are allowed to add three dresses to their wardrobe without getting carried away with shoes.
3. Decide for them
Previously, it was very important for me that children could choose what to eat, what to do and where to go with the whole family. Result? Disputes, disagreements and dissatisfaction with the final decision. The husband took a completely different position. He insisted that all decisions of the family be made by the parents — taking into account the preferences of the children, but without asking them directly. At first I was horrified. But what about freedom of choice? But when she saw the result — happy and contented children, she remembered Daniel Gilbert’s «artificial happiness» research: we are happier when the choice is limited and we cannot change our mind later.
4. Come up with a challenge
Rest and relaxation are essential for a good holiday. But at some point, we want to get carried away with something new and are ready for a state of flow — when it is not the result that matters, the process itself is pleasant and interesting, and we seem to dissolve in action and time flies by. To do this, the activity must be difficult enough and require effort, but remain within our capabilities. The result is a deep feeling of absolute pleasure.
Think about what you could be addicted to and surprise yourself by trying something new that you didn’t think you were capable of. Such adventures will make your vacation more eventful, joyful and memorable.
5. Decide how to end your vacation
The rule of peak and final experiences is known: we evaluate past experience by the most vivid experience and by its ending, pleasant or unpleasant. It is the same with a vacation — how it ended will affect the overall impression. Therefore, when planning a family vacation, choose activities that evoke strong positive emotions, and try to end the vacation on a high note, because it depends on how it will remain in your memory.