Former Secretary of State, Former Senator, Former First Lady of the United States, Democratic nominee for President of the United States on feminism, forgiveness and what it’s like to be in power.
We meet in a room at the Claridge Hotel in London. Hillary Clinton is way shorter than you’d expect. She is warm, lively, cheerful. There is something almost out of this world in her, her desire for good is so obvious. Everyone talks about Bill Clinton as a charismatic, and it’s true. But Hillary’s charisma is so great that it makes her taller than she really is.
Does charisma lead? Or, conversely, does the possession of power create charisma? In this case, the answer is not obvious. One thing is clear: such a strong personality is felt in her that this force attracts the interlocutor, carries him away like a tugboat leading a boat into the harbor.
What is strength if not determination, determination, urgent need and the ability to move forward and make choices? As the president’s wife, she helped develop bills to protect children’s rights. After leaving the White House, she became the only first lady in history to run for public office and receive the post of senator from the state of New York.
After Obama’s election victory, Hillary found the strength not to succumb to resentment
In 2008, she already participated in the presidential race and in a tough fight lost the victory to Barack Obama, who eventually became the candidate of the Democratic Party. However, after his election victory, Hillary found the strength not to succumb to feelings of resentment and accepted Obama’s offer to head the US State Department, turning from a competitor into one of his most devoted allies.
Cocktails with umbrellas
In person, she turns out to be much nicer than one might expect. She knows how to make the interlocutor laugh, to create a relaxed atmosphere, and this is worth a lot. But Hillary Clinton is also empathy personified. But just one generation ago, empathy was considered contraindicated for people in power. Then women wore business suits with broad shoulders to the office and tried to imitate men in everything.
Clinton says she at one time considered calling her memoirs The Scrunchie Chronicles. She has been criticized for years for her love of the subject. However, the choice of clothing also caused criticism. Today she is wearing black trousers and a white jacket with a black and yellow pattern. When I notice that the coloring reminds me of a Margarita, she enthusiastically replies that it is her favorite drink: “I generally like all cocktails with umbrellas!” Who would have thought that the resolution of crises in international relations is the work of a woman who confesses her love for cocktails with umbrellas! But that’s the way it is.
If you don’t have time to be human, it’s easy to forget what you’re ultimately doing it all for.
«It is important to feel excitement and pleasure even when solving incredibly serious tasks. National security issues are serious and risky. If you don’t have time to be human, take your mind off things, relax and joke around, it’s easy to forget what you’re ultimately doing it all for.”
The vicissitudes of fate
While we are talking, Clinton almost does not look away, all the time looking at me with his big blue eyes. It seems like you can ask her about anything. Calm, witty, changeable … I wonder if she has become like this over the years or has she always been like this, just that people around her didn’t notice? Or maybe our ideas about women in power have changed?
If you think about what gives her strength, then I would say that this ability to overcome adverse circumstances. She was strongly influenced by her mother, Dorothy Rodham. When she was eight years old, her parents divorced, and she, along with her three-year-old sister, was sent to the other side of the country to her grandparents, who were generally unfamiliar with the feeling of love.
Once on Halloween, she went home without permission, begging the owners for traditional sweets, after which she was punished for disobedience locked in a room for a year, only allowed to go to school. Dorothy Rodham could grow up to be an angry and bilious woman who hates the whole world, but instead she passionately fell in love with him and fought for justice all her life.
How does Hillary Clinton think her mother helped her become who she is? “When I was little, she was funny, loved sports, we went swimming and played golf together. After learning about what she had to face, I could not understand how she became such a loving, calm and supportive mother. How, with her difficult experience, could she give me my happy experience, my very different childhood? It was something exceptional. I deeply respect her for this.».
It seems that for Hillary it is important that someone understands her, shares her feelings. There is, of course, vulnerability in this, but not the vulnerability of the victim. In an interview with Vanity Fair, Monica Lewinsky once called herself “the most humiliated woman in the world.” In other words, she allowed her sexual relationship with President Clinton to define her and her life. But the woman I’m talking to is not like that.
How did Hillary Clinton, who also had every chance of remaining “the most humiliated woman in the world,” become a respected politician, secretary of state, and presidential contender as a result? How could she make a difference? “I moved forward,” she says. These words are so easy to say and so hard to act on them. But that is precisely its essence. She didn’t get stuck in her pain, didn’t analyze it for years, but moved on.
This is real strength and real courage: to have the courage to forgive
Perhaps this is what real strength and real courage is: to have the courage to forgive. Many religions speak of forgiveness as liberation, implying that one who cannot forgive becomes his own jailer.
«I am inspired by the example of Nelson Mandela, who led the country to a different future through forgiveness and reconciliation, says Hillary. – This does not mean that you need to forget, but it is important to seek truth and reconciliation. He often said that if you continue to feel bitter and angry, you stay in prison and treat yourself unfairly because you cannot go beyond what happened. You need to be honest, face the truth in any situation – personal or state. I often think about my mother and what she experienced as a child – cruelty, indifference and meanness. She needed to find the strength to rise above the circumstances and continue to live. Otherwise, she would have been unhappy herself or would have made her children unhappy, because this was done to her. But she managed to avoid it.”
Of course, it was not easy to forgive. I ask if his so public betrayal and the scandal that followed it brought them closer to Bill? She replies that they have always been close. “That doesn’t mean we didn’t disappoint each other,” she adds. “But I am very lucky to go through life with a person who supports me. It’s a big fortune.”
Miscellaneous courage
In one of the photos, Hillary Clinton plays the piano and sings with U2 lead singer Bono. To sing a duet with him is not courage? And send helicopters with special forces to bin Laden’s lair? But even more courage is required to remain in the power of man.
What does she think of feminism? “Hopefully he’s alive because a women’s rights movement is needed. To the question “Am I a Feminist?” I always answer yes. According to the dictionary, this word means one who “believes in the possibility of women’s full and equal participation in the economic, social, political and all other aspects of life.”
I learned to listen to criticism, but not take it personally.
Hillary Clinton had to become extremely thick-skinned, because for many years she was mercilessly criticized for her appearance, clothes and demeanor. Of course, this would not have happened if she were a man.
“I learned to listen to criticism, but not take it personally,” she says. Did she feel like she needed to dress differently, to look more masculine or conservative, to contain her emotions more? “When I was younger, I guess it was. Then we were all looking for ourselves, we wanted to change something. These issues have now been resolved. Women can more freely express themselves, their views and needs. It’s a matter of balance between societal expectations and your personality. Don’t get me wrong, this does not mean that you can come to court in a bathing suit. You need to be aware of the norms, but not be their slave.
The conversation returns to her mother. When Dorothy Rodham died in 2011, Clinton stumbled upon a phrase that sounded like the sum total of her mother’s life: “I loved and was loved. Everything else is just background music.”. And in a relationship, does she like to love herself more or allow herself to be loved? “Differently, this way, that way.” After all, a strong person knows that he cannot always be the most loved. His strength is to love and forgive himself.
Weeks after the interview, especially during moments of stress, I keep thinking that it is always possible to forgive and move on. It remains only to find the courage to do so.