Sometimes a person influences completely openly: without hiding his influence, but also drawing your attention to him. In such an open influence (impact), it is usually obvious who influences, how influences and why; in such an impact, the author of the impact warns about his impact and describes its nature.
Open targeted communicative influence — appeal. Forms of appeal: offer, request, demand, insistence, prayer. Order, order, question.
When is such openness appropriate? First of all, these are situations when relations between people are friendly and collaborative. In such cases, there is no task to hide anything; on the contrary, the task is to act as clearly as possible for the other side in order to quickly establish effective interaction.
However, in a large number of situations, open influence can meet with protest, protection, and turn out to be ineffective. Whether or not it is worth it and how justified it is to carry out hidden influences is a separate question, the fact is that hidden influences and influences are ubiquitous and far from always meet with opposition.
What is considered a hidden influence (impact)?
Latent influence — influence that occurs in a way that is imperceptible to an outside observer. Hidden influence can be a natural, natural process, or it can be organized by someone in relation to someone. Often, indirect influences are referred to as hidden influences, including the influence of something mediated, in particular, the use of a third force.
Examples of hidden influence are manipulation and training, involvement and seduction, various methods of political technologies …
As a rule, any undeciphered non-verbal makes a hidden impact. A tired look, raised eyebrows in surprise, a doubtful shake of the head, a warm, sincere smile … — what exactly does this mean and can it be trusted? Given that the bulk of communication is necessarily accompanied by intense non-verbal, it can be argued that the bulk of the communicative impact is a partially hidden impact.
At the same time, the hidden influence is not necessarily where its author intentionally hides something, often the secrecy was unintentional. This or that secrecy in everyday communication is once the result of a habit of being somewhat closed, and most often the result of the fact that people communicate without thinking, without asking themselves the question of what and why they say and, because of this, do not care about what they were understood correctly.
“What nonsense? Do you realize what you’re saying?» — the author of such remarks usually does not understand himself that in his statement there is a hidden position of superiority and collision through an objection. “No, I didn’t mean anything, I just said my opinion!” Yes, that’s just plain rudeness and stupidity.
If we want to be better understood, we need to be careful about the form of our statements and, if possible, indicate our intentions. Indeed, many of our appeals are unclear: it is not clear whether this is a request or a demand, a question or an accusation. For example:
- «Bring me some tea!» — this is probably a common request, but it can be understood not as a trusting relationship, but as an expression of disrespect. In such cases, people try to understand the context by paying attention to facial expressions and intonations.
- “What about tea?..” (with a displeasedly surprised face) — here it is all the more unclear whether this is a request, or a demand, or an accusation …
- “I have a request to you: please make me some strong tea! Thank you, dear!» — but this appeal is of sufficient quality: with an open, declared and clearly formulated intention.
In communication, where the interlocutors have different, and even conflicting interests, the latent influence is usually more effective and therefore is widely practiced. How to relate to this is a separate question, it can only be stated
The fear of “I am being manipulated” is more typical for people of low personal development,
However, in a situation of ordinary everyday communication, it often causes protest, causes tension in relations and a resulting decrease in the effectiveness of communication. People who are prone to hidden communication tricks usually have short-term gains and long-term problems.
For the child to live in a sense of freedom …
Free education ensures that the child lives in an atmosphere of freedom, feels himself the master of his life, so that he does not feel coercion in relation to himself. How can this be achieved? The usual ways and recommendations are as follows:
- Do not fight the bad, and do not provoke the development of the bad.
- Don’t force, but make you want.
- Make sure that not you teach, but the circumstances
- Make your compulsion hidden.
- When forcing, make it seem to the child that this is his own choice.