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Have you noticed that some people are chronically unlucky? They are betrayed by friends, insulted by partners, framed by colleagues. But perhaps healthy and unhealthy relationships are the result of our conscious choices? What mistakes stand in the way of a healthy partnership?
Do you often get into toxic relationships? Instead of saying: “I just got unlucky”, “I constantly meet inadequate people” or ask the question: “Why does this always happen to me?”, You need to realize that such relationships are not accidental. We choose them ourselves.
People who know how to build healthy relationships are not at all the lucky ones who are lucky in the lottery. They just know how to make the right choice.
Here are five signs that you are failing to create a healthy relationship.
1. You date the bad guys all the time.
All the men you meet turn out to be villains? It’s time to think about the fact that happy girls will not endure such characters next to them for a long time. Faced once with a toxic person, in the future they smell them a mile away and bypass them.
If you consistently associate your life with bad guys, it’s worth considering how healthy you are from a psychological point of view.
Why do you agree to be mistreated? How can you benefit from relationships with toxic people? What is the meaning of these relationships? Do your current relationships resemble those you had in the past?
2. You believe that love is a fluke
Our falling in love is not subject to will and common sense, but if you regularly find yourself in relationships with unworthy people, this is not connected with love. Perhaps you just want to be needed by someone so that they pay attention to you. It doesn’t matter to you whether the attention is positive or negative.
You will probably say that it is not. But if there were constant quarrels in your parental family, you most likely consider such relationships to be normal.
When we meet love, there is an element of chance in this meeting. However, it is we who decide how close the relationship will be, whether it is worth continuing if it turns out to be unhealthy. Mentally healthy people don’t allow toxic partners to enter their hearts.
3. You see yourself as a victim.
A healthy person chooses a partner based on their values, beliefs and self-confidence. The one who says: “Well, the same thing again!”, “Why is this happening to me?”, “Why am I always mistreated?”, voluntarily agrees to play the role of a victim, without even knowing it.
It is bad if your partner is rude and unrestrained, puts pressure on you psychologically or uses force. But the worst thing is that you know that you regularly enter into relationships with toxic people, and you do not want to stop it. You are choosing, though not fully aware of it, pain over happiness. Healthy relationships only arise between people who make healthy choices together.
4. You blame others for your problems.
The appearance of some people in our lives is a great success. Every day fate gives us opportunities, but not all of them are happy.
People with a healthy attitude can recognize negativity and refuse to open the door to it.
People who are not in touch with themselves “open the door” to everyone, and then blame their love failures not on themselves, but on bad weather, bright sun, people around them, or the villain-fate.
5. You think it’s your partner’s fault
People who are in unhealthy relationships blame each other for the problems in the relationship. In a healthy relationship, partners admit their mistakes, take responsibility, and work through problems together.
The first step to such relationships is understanding that they can only be the result of our conscious choice, and not the fruit of a random combination of circumstances. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will learn to evaluate your options and make healthy choices.