Head on shoulders: how not to succumb to stress and pump resilience

The flexibility of the psyche, or psychological resilience, allows you to adapt to stress and deal with it constructively. With the help of a practicing therapist, we tell what kind of personality trait it is and how to develop it

What is resilience

Psychological resilience (from English resilience) is a person’s adaptation after a stressful situation, the ability to cope with a crisis and quickly, without negative consequences, return to balance. Term resilience implies elasticity and flexibility – the ability to recover to its previous state at some time. In the Russian-language scientific literature, the terms “resilience” and “stability” are used interchangeably.

In the past few years, research in this area has become especially popular, as more and more evidence is emerging that adversity in childhood can adversely affect health and well-being in adulthood. And in this context, the resistance of the psyche to stress and its subsequent impact on cognitive abilities is of interest not only to psychiatrists and psychologists, but also to economists.

Stress for all occasions

Throughout life, a person inevitably faces a variety of stressful situations.

In a certain sense, stress is one of the factors of natural selection and evolution, a set of adaptive reactions of the body to the impact of adverse environmental factors that disrupt its ability to self-regulate and maintain internal balance.

Consequently, under stress, the corresponding reaction of the nervous system and the whole organism as a whole develops. And it’s not always something bad.

There is stress positive It’s called eustress. These are, for example, physical exercises that make the body stronger, more flexible and resilient, or training. Having to speak the target language throughout the lesson is a controlled stress that brings positive results, while waking up in Ethiopia without knowing Amharic is a feeling of deep shock and helplessness.

stressful situations can be short-term и long-term, superficial – violating momentary comfort, or deep – affecting physical and mental health.

stress can be routine and affecting some one aspect of life, for example, difficult situations at work, or it can come from where they were not expected. But it must be taken into account that physical stress causes fairly predictable consequences: poisoning, burns, loud sound – the reaction of any unprepared organism will be approximately the same. The body’s reactions to psychological and emotional stress are much more individual.

Anastasia Galashina, psychologist, practicing Gestalt therapist:

“In my work, I do not use any stress scale, but I suggest that clients observe specific, most basic areas of their lives – food, sleep, various household tasks, the ability to drive a car, bodily sensations. Thus, we develop an individual scale and observe it. We monitor what and how changes and whether it changes at all against the background of stress – so we further understand whether stability is maintained or the level of stress is already off scale.

In general, we can say that there are people who are more and less resistant to stress. But a lot depends on how familiar the source of stress is – when faced with an unprecedented situation, it is very difficult to predict how a person will behave and how stable he will turn out. In my experience, clients who experience major upheavals and changes in their lives cope better with stress than those who experience something like this for the first time.”

What does not kill you makes you stronger?

The process of adapting to a stressful situation and getting out of it can also be understood as a learning process – the most difficult time to cope with a situation is when you find yourself face to face with it for the first time. In the future, as resilience develops, it is easier for a person to extrapolate his life experience to similar events and find the best way out of them.

But do not overestimate the capabilities of the body. Single stress, repetitive episodes, or prolonged exposure to stressful situations such as death threats, sexual violence, or military action can trigger severe mental health conditions. Among them are post-traumatic stress disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Until now, in medicine and psychology there is no understanding of what level of stress is acceptable.

Anastasia Galashina:

“The principle “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is not applicable in psychology. What makes us stronger is the stress that is within our power, that we are able to digest, that does not lead us into a state of passion and is not accompanied by impotence. Sports training is a certain stress. But, firstly, training is your personal choice, and secondly, you control tension and stress – if it gets dark in your eyes, if you fall down, then such a load will not be beneficial, it will exhaust and destroy.

As far as psychological structures are concerned, this is something similar. There is stress that will provoke new knowledge, new life experiences and a new experience of dealing with yourself and thus growth. And there is a level of stress that goes off scale and creates a risk of falling into affects and getting injured.

Everyone has different life circumstances: there are people who, in general, are not much affected by the general news agenda, they are more concerned about something of their own. Therefore, for example, the stress that many are now facing – overcoming the economic consequences of sanctions against our country, a change in their usual way of life, which manifests itself, for example, in the form of the inability to travel – may become the stress that will increase the level of resilience for many in the future. And for those who react sharply and sensitively to what is happening, this can turn into a tension that exceeds the possibilities. We need to work with this, deal with it on purpose and do something to reduce its influence.”

How to develop psychological resilience

People are not only born to some extent able to withstand stressful situations and get out of them without loss. Experience also matters – this ability can be developed in oneself. The concept of psychological resilience in science is actively discussed: there is no agreement on whether it is a character trait or a certain condition. Moreover, since stress and the response to it involve various levels – from molecular to macroscopic, involve the functional parts of the nervous system, it is very difficult to give an unambiguous definition of what psychological resilience is. Nevertheless, it can be considered as a resource that can be worked out in oneself.

In order for the situation not to take over a person and so that his situation does not worsen, the first thing you need is the ability to look at the situation soberly, to have the ability to make realistic plans and take concrete actions to put them into practice. This is based on confidence in one’s own capabilities and strengths – the plan can be very rational, but the conviction of an impending failure will not let you take a step.

Studies show that pessimism, or rather the tendency to see the world as threatening, problematic and disturbing, the habit of putting oneself in the position of a victim, does not contribute to a constructive way out of stress. On the contrary, perseverance, self-acceptance, independence, but a tendency to cooperate (do not forget that a person is a social animal) help to overcome difficult periods.

This means that in order to develop psychological stability, you need to establish external relations, be able to cooperate, communicate with other people and solve emerging problems, and not avoid them. And finally, it is important to be able to control yourself and not succumb to strong impulses and feelings.

Anastasia Galashina:

“I think mental resilience has two parts. The first part to develop is awareness of your feelings and reactions. Often, when stress goes off scale, it is very difficult for people to understand what is happening with the body, emotions, thoughts. It is most effective to work on this in tandem with a psychologist, but this is not necessary – someone does this by observing their own thoughts, breathing, feelings. Someone using written practices describes their state: verbalization allows you to better understand it, structure it. People find ways that are convenient for themselves, but the task is the same – to feel and understand what is happening to you.

The second task is the ability to regulate one’s state. It is very good that now there is a lot of information available, webinars, lectures and articles on what to do in acute stressful situations. The first self-help techniques: how to bring yourself to your senses, what are the simplest bodily practices for this – tapping, clapping, breathing, observing blue objects, describing the environment, and so on.

If the goal is to develop psychological resilience, then you need to work with all the techniques that help you effectively deal with thoughts, feelings, emotions and the body. If someone knows that he finds support and support in faith and prayer, why not? But this is no longer my area of ​​expertise.

You need to learn to notice when the brain is “driven” in a stressful situation, and be distracted in time and switch to something else – pay attention to the positive aspects of life – there are close people, friends with whom you have good relations, there is work, housing, there is something something else that causes a feeling of stability, satisfaction, joy. You need to learn how to focus on it.

Emotions need an outlet, otherwise they can explode with increasing pressure. On the other hand, you need to develop a sense of self-control and regulation, not to let yourself diverge. If it does not work, then it is better to seek help from a specialist.

A very good resource from which stability appears is the body. Any sport that is available – walking, running, fitness, yoga – everything that helps the body stay strong and alert also goes to the treasury of psychological resilience.

What are the limits of psychological stability

No matter how stable a person is, stressful situations affect him, and he shows emotions, empathizes with those who, along with him, were involved in this situation. But his reaction should not be an outburst of anger at himself and the universe or a search for the guilty. It should not be a stupor, loss of will, strength and desire to act. Bad situations make resilient people upset, spoil the mood, and that’s okay. In this position, the ability to act and a balanced analysis of the situation is still preserved.

Anastasia Galashina:

“Psychological resilience involves flexibility, not rigidity. By developing this quality in yourself, you can definitely expect that it will be easier for you to come to your senses and find support in a situation of severe stress. But I have not met people who have pumped so that nothing could throw them off balance. But I often meet those who can quickly “come back”, analyze reality and say to themselves: “Now this is happening, but I can handle it.” Self-help skills develop, and you can bring yourself to life faster, you can help someone else if necessary. But you should not expect that now it will always be calm and nothing can unsettle. The human psyche is very mobile, it is made that way on purpose, and it would be strange if it was permanently fixed in some position.”

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