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In our country, for various reasons, women often take care of family finances. About how Russian women get into debt and become potential bankrupts — on examples from the practice of lawyers protecting the rights of borrowers.
Traditionally, women put the needs of the family and children first. Sometimes they have to quickly look for money for household expenses, and because of this, it is they who often become victims of scammers, take bad loans at high interest rates. Or they simply put themselves in jeopardy by taking out other people’s loans in their name.
Stories from life
“The wedding was canceled, and the loan for it remained on me”
A beautiful wedding is the dream of many girls since childhood. Not surprisingly, many couples even take out loans to organize a celebration, buy a dress and other attributes of a “happy family”. Muscovite Elena Vetrova also took out such a loan.
“My boyfriend and I were planning a wedding. There was not enough money to organize a celebration and a honeymoon trip, so they decided to celebrate and fly to rest on credit. I issued it for myself, because I worked in a large company and looked decent as a borrower.
The wedding was planned to be played in February, but a month before it we were offered a very profitable tour. We immediately decided that we would take the opportunity: first we would go on vacation, and the wedding would take place immediately after our return. On vacation, my fiancé and I quarreled and realized that we were not suitable for each other — we decided that it was better for us to disperse. The wedding was canceled, and the credit for it and for our vacation remained on me.
“Terrible experience for which I am very ashamed”
A resident of Voronezh, Natalya Kiseleva, has long been the main person responsible for the financial condition of the family.
“My husband has a creative profession, he is an artist, so, you know, his income is unstable. I felt sorry for him all the time: after all, he is a talented person, and inspiration cannot come according to the schedule, from 9 to 6! I myself worked both as a teacher and a psychologist at the school where my daughter studied.
She was already finishing school, and in order to prepare for entering the university, money was needed, which, of course, was not enough. By that time, the husband was no longer working at all and began to drink heavily. I did not despair and thought about opening my own small business. Cooking has always been my love. I often baked cakes and sweets at home, so at some point the idea came to my mind to open a production.
I took loans from the bank and asked a few friends to help me by acting as guarantors. Given that I have never dealt with business, all my endeavors ended in failure and huge debts. Terrible experience, for which I am very ashamed.
“The endless calls of collectors began”
Yulia Kazakova from Omsk also told her sad story about how she got into debt by collecting microloans for her boyfriend, who was a gamer.
“Due to my own stupidity, I ended up in debt. My boyfriend was into betting and needed money all the time. I really wanted to help, so I took 12 loans. He constantly told me that this time he would definitely win, it would take quite a bit. As a result, the amount I borrowed began to exceed 400 thousand rubles.
Endless calls of collectors began, about 100 a day. This did not allow me to live in peace, I changed my place of work. No matter what I did, there was not enough money to pay off the debt.”
«Our relationship has always been trusting»
A common situation: marriage between partners is not registered, while all loans are issued to a woman. This, of course, is a big risk.
Some time ago we were contacted by Olga Solovieva from St. Petersburg, who was left alone with two children and a loan of 2 million rubles.
“We lived with a man for about 10 years together. Neither I nor he liked wedding ceremonies, so they did not seek to register a marriage, and over time they stopped discussing this topic altogether. Yes, we trusted each other, but, as it turned out, in vain.
There was a need to take a loan, and my credit history was better. I received an official salary and, accordingly, as a borrower I was more reliable. My man received a “black salary” in an envelope, but he never spared money on us. Our relationship has always been trusting, and at that time I did not see any problems in obtaining a loan for myself.
The story ended with him leaving for another woman, and I was left alone with two children and an unpaid two million loan.
“My property is considered jointly acquired in marriage”
However, there are also reverse situations that can lead to financial problems. For example, a marriage not dissolved on time can lead to unforeseen debts.
A curious case was in our practice quite recently. Yulia Savelyeva and her husband have not lived together for many years, but the marriage was not dissolved.
“My husband and I separated 15 years ago, but the divorce was never finalized. I immediately moved to another city, and at first it was not possible to deal with this process, and then somehow it was not up to it. I have a new family for a long time, children, real estate, which I purchased.
And then one day I find out that the man with whom I have not lived for a very long time has gone bankrupt, and my property is considered jointly acquired in marriage — and now it can be taken away from the debts of my official husband.
Legal advice
One of the main reasons why women get into such unpleasant stories is the lack of financial and legal literacy.
- Always be realistic about your financial situation. Be careful with any transactions with money. Don’t let your emotions cloud your mind and control you.
- Take care of your legal and financial security. In no case do not arrange loans and loans at the request of other people. Such adventures can lead to negative consequences.
- If, nevertheless, it happened that you took a loan, first pay it off, and then take the next one. Otherwise, the debt burden can drive you into a financial hole.
Today in Russia the number of debtors with overdue loans for more than 90 days and the amount of debt above 250 thousand rubles exceeds 2 million people. This figure is growing: over the past year, their number has increased by 10%.
It is worth noting that most often people with this amount of delay, as a rule, will no longer be able to pay off loans. They either constantly re-borrow money or stop paying at all, becoming a kind of «financial zombie» for the Russian economy and making a negative contribution to the country’s debt burden.
The debtor has a chance to get out of his debt hole by writing off debts in the personal bankruptcy procedure, but he does not know about this possibility, and therefore does not file a lawsuit. Among the «financial zombies» in Russia, unfortunately, there are a lot of women.
Psychologist tips
All these girls have something in common: they live in co-dependent relationships, and they are accustomed to interacting with the world from the role of a victim. It is these girls that are often chosen by swindlers, gigolos, game addicts, alcohol and drug addicts men.
How to know if you’re in a codependent relationship:
- It is difficult for you to say “I” and defend your opinion — you do not show it to others. If a vacation is supposed, for example, with scuba diving, and you don’t like to dive, you dive to your own detriment and suffer from it (but together with your loved one). At the same time, they don’t even ask you what kind of vacation you would like, and you also pay for this inconvenient trip for you. So the partner’s hobbies automatically become yours, but your interests are not taken into account.
- You do not trust your partner and are constantly jealous of him.
- You control the other all the time, and sometimes it comes to the point of absurdity. It often seems to you that something bad can happen, and therefore you need to keep your finger on the pulse. whether jealousy turns on.
- You find it difficult to make decisions on your own. It is difficult to make a choice, someone else’s opinion seems more significant.
What can you do if you find these traits in yourself and your relationship?
- Stop saving another and solving other people’s problems, financial ones too.
- Pay attention to yourself and your desires. Think about what you have been doing for yourself lately and make a list of your desires.
- Stop waiting for the other to change.
- Learn to look at yourself in the mirror and compliment yourself.
- Stop controlling. Yes, yes: stop controlling the other and pay more attention to yourself.
- Take care of yourself, your development and education.
The names of the heroes of the publication have been changed.