At the age of 14-15 years, a teenager can greatly reduce communication with his parents. But as child psychotherapist Daniel Marcelli* explains, this is more of a good sign.
“He returns from school with a frown on his face, grumbling something in response to the question “How are you?” and immediately locks himself in his room in order to stop further conversations. Frustrated and frustrated by the loss of contact with their own child, parents worry that he may be in trouble. But how to help if he does not say anything?
Nevertheless, there is no cause for concern, unless, of course, this silence lasts for several months. Teenagers need a distance in their relationship with their parents – because now more than ever it is important for them to feel independent, special.
And in our words, in our concern, they see only a desire to subdue them, to prolong their childhood. And they hide physically (“you don’t know where I am”) and mentally (“you don’t know what I’m thinking”). Not talking to parents means building an impenetrable wall, being inaccessible to their eyes. However, it often happens that teenagers, refusing to talk with their families, actively discuss their affairs with the parents of their friends, with an uncle or grandmother, with a coach … It’s great if your son or daughter has confidants among other adults: such communication allows them to learn different opinions, better understand their position, and in addition, the child will have someone to support and protect him in case of problems.
Some teens don’t talk much to adults just because they’re only really interested in their grades. At this age, there are more important topics! Finally, there are families in which it is not customary to talk a lot, or, conversely, those in which it is simply impossible to insert a word. A teenager unconsciously copies the behavior of his parents or reacts in the opposite way, tired of the talkativeness of adults. It all depends on the quality of the relationship that connects him with his parents, and on their ability to listen.