He still believes in Santa Claus!

What kind of sham Santa Clauses he had not seen – in a heavy caftan or Santa Claus jacket, with a silky beard or with a cotton ball slumped to one side. His peers have long known that “Santa Claus does not exist,” but your reasonable and in many ways advanced third grader stubbornly continues to believe in a miracle and seriously expects that Santa Claus will make his way to the Christmas tree on New Year’s Eve and leave under it what the child is talking about. I told my parents more than once. Is he too naive for his age?

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• What do Santa Claus and the postman have in common?

As a rule, children stop believing in Santa Claus at about 5–7 years old, when they begin to distinguish between reality and fiction. However, some even at 8-9 years old are not ready to draw this clear line.

“Perhaps your child has to grow up too quickly,” explains Natalia Bogdanova. – He has a high workload at school, a lot of new responsibilities. And that’s his way of saying: wait, don’t rush.” A child can be seriously frightened by life around – incomprehensible, full of anxiety and aggression. It is important for him to have his own imaginary world, cozy and sheltering him, including from his parents. And Santa Claus, as an imaginary friend, plays the role of an interlocutor who can be trusted and tell about secret desires. Is it worth it to indulge the naivety of the child (unless, of course, he seriously believes, and does not play along with his parents, who find it difficult to accept his growing up)? “Each family decides this in its own way, there is no ready answer,” says Natalia Bogdanova. – One thing is clear: sooner or later your child will leave the land of magic. It’s sad, but natural.”

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• Letter to Santa Claus

Sometimes the news that there is no Santa Claus shocks the child: he understands that not all of his desires are feasible. He can be offended, angry at his parents, and even take it as a betrayal – after all, he was lied to, allowed to become a target for peer ridicule. You can tell him that at his age you sincerely believed in Santa Claus and wanted to share your wonderful memories with him. You can also ask him to pretend to believe in Santa Claus for the sake of his little brothers and sisters: your “conspiracy” will strengthen his sense of self-worth and involvement in the adult world. It will also prolong the charm of the holiday, where someone with wide open eyes is waiting for the real Santa Claus.

Natalia Bogdanova, child psychotherapist, employee of the Center for Psychotherapy and Psychological Support of Dr. Babin.