Is your teenager building castles in the air without even trying to make something real? There is no reason to worry, says psychotherapist Daniel Marselli, unless this inaction is associated with a fear of failure.
DANIEL MARCELLI, author of Practical Psychology for Adolescents. 100 most difficult situations that you need to go through ”(U-Factoria, 2008).
“Controlling the figure of Lionel Messi, he scores virtuoso goals in a computer match, but shirks from real football training – this is too tiring! She imagines herself to be Christina Aguilera, singing in the bathroom, and refuses to rehearse in the school ensemble – why take the risk! .. It seems that modern teenagers simply do not want or do not know how to set a goal and achieve it. Maybe they are afraid to act out of fear of failure or fear of choosing one thing – when there are especially many desires? The world of a teenager is oversaturated with images that feed his imagination. The successes of modern heroes seem so understandable and accessible, requiring no effort, and young people easily appropriate them in their dreams. But from this awareness of the limits of their capabilities becomes even more painful. Parents are worried: will their child ever be able to cope with a real, difficult life task? And they forget: in youth it seems that everything is possible, everything is achievable. This is the age when dreams bring special pleasure. Postponing everything for tomorrow and being in blissful inactivity, a teenager, unlike most adults, experiences sensual pleasure. His sexual energy, libido, realizes itself in dreams just as the libido of an adult realizes itself in deeds.
But the craving for passive pastime, of course, should not apply to everyone. At least because, doing nothing at all, it is easy to start studying. For most teenagers, the gap between dreams and reality goes unnoticed. They are not sure that they can reach the heights of Steve Jobs or JK Rowling, but this does not prevent them from exploring Internet technologies or writing their own texts. But some achievements of idols are simply paralyzed. The task of adults is to patiently explain: more than talent, success depends on our work and desire to win. If it is important for him to become the first, then go ahead! If not, let him find a hobby to his liking. The best thing is to find an activity or hobby that is non-competitive and combines effort with pleasure.”
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“A book for a lazy person, or How to learn not to put everything off until later” Rita EmmettAmerican psychologist Rita Emmett helps to find the hidden motives of the habit of not doing anything on time, deal with the fears that make you always drag it to the last, and tells you how to start acting decisively and immediately (Amphora, 2009).