Does he enjoy cooking in the toy kitchen and dressing the dolls? There is nothing to worry about, assures children’s psychotherapist Elena Morozova. Games designed for the opposite sex allow children to grow up to be free and harmonious people.
Should we be surprised when a boy likes the games traditionally prescribed for girls, and vice versa? Doesn’t this tendency indicate a possible homosexuality in the future? “Children under 3-4 spontaneously play in the same way,” explains child psychotherapist Elena Morozova. “And then girls begin to prefer their games, boys prefer theirs, imitating either paternal or maternal behavior. Adults are pushing them to such a division in many ways – they buy appropriate toys for them, rejoice when their son (daughter) chooses a game with the correct “sexual orientation”. It happens, however, that boys also willingly put bears and bunnies to bed. Or they play family in the absence of peers, taking turns becoming either “daddy” or “mother”. And why persuade them not to do it? “Most adults have forgotten how great the power of imagination of a child is,” Elena Morozova regrets. – And they mistakenly attribute a predictive character to such games: the game does not indicate the future sexual orientation and to an even lesser extent it shapes it. On the contrary, maybe a boy who is passionate about dolls will grow up into a wonderful, responsible father or, earlier, a gentle and caring older brother.
Being involved in various game situations, especially symbolic ones, the child seeks and creates his own personality, in which there are both female and male components. Instead of making fun of a boy playing with a doll, you should ask yourself: “Why does this bother me?” Does the behavior of the son (daughter) awaken in us doubts about our own sexual orientation? Often, the child unwittingly serves to strengthen the sexual self-esteem of the parents – helping the father feel more masculine and strong, and the mother – feminine.
It is worth worrying when boys 7–8 years old and older do not just play with dolls, but transform into girls: imitate their behavior, dress up in dresses. Such fantasies are a reason to turn to an endocrinologist, and then a psychologist, who will help to understand how the child lives and what aspirations he wants, but is afraid to realize.
About it
“Right games with the right toys” Stephanie Auerbach
An American educator and specialist in children’s toys (she is called so: Dr. Toy, from toy – “toy”), in her bestseller talks about games for every age and helps parents determine the real needs of the child. (Potpourri, 2008).
Elena Morozova, employee of the Department of Child Psychiatry and Medical Psychology, RMAPO.