“In the children’s community, teasers are indispensable, but you should not be afraid of them,” says psychologist Maria Osorina. “Verbal attacks become a school of communication for the child, they help to get to know… themselves better.”
Malicious and sometimes cruel remarks of classmates can offend a child, cause fear, and provoke aggression. Trying to help him cope with himself and adequately defend himself, parents should know the reasons why children 7-11 years old tease each other. Most often, this is a harmless attempt to establish contact, demonstrate oneself and test a classmate for strength. Being in one of three roles — “victim”, “aggressor” or “observer”, children find out how easy it is to knock the ground out from under the feet of another (or myself) in a stressful situation, how hard he (or myself) is and ready to take care of himself. The results of such a «test» often determine the child’s place in the group hierarchy. It is no coincidence that they tease newcomers more often or sort things out in a team that is just taking shape. Parents can prepare the child for this situation by explaining to him what is happening and teaching him to actively respond to the challenge, and with the same action (word for word). It is not necessary to demonstrate wit, although it will never hurt to have one or two excuses in reserve (like “whoever calls himself that name”) will never hurt. Some children like to manipulate the emotions of others. They often call names to those who lose their temper easily, and then they say: “Look, he doesn’t understand jokes, he rushes at people!” Teach your son or daughter to take a break: no matter how insulting it is, you need to take a deep breath, count to ten in your mind and, only after calming down, answer the offender. Finally, with the help of name-calling, children ridicule unacceptable behavior in the team: snitching, greed, boasting, tearfulness. In this form, the children’s subculture supports the rights of the entire community. If these statements are true for your child, help him change his behavior — in this case, this is the best strategy for him.