He is going to be a big brother: how to prepare him?

11 tips to prepare for baby’s arrival

Tell her without going overboard

You can tell your child that you are expecting a baby whenever you want. No need to wait for the so-called regulatory three months. Children feel things and will be all the more reassured that there is no secrecy and whispering. However, once the announcement is made, let your child react as they wish and only come back to it if they ask questions. Nine months is a long time, especially for a little one, and talking all the time about an unborn baby can be scary. In fact, it is often when the stomach is rounded that questions reappear and that we start to really talk about them.

Reassure him

A mother’s heart is not divided by the number of children she has, his love multiplies with each birth. This is what your child needs to hear… and to hear again. The jealousy he will develop towards the baby is normal and constructive, and as soon as it exceeds it, it will come out of it grown. Indeed, he learns to share, not only his parents, but also his environment and his love. On your side, do not feel guilty. You do not betray him, even if he is unhappy for a moment, you are building a family for him, unbreakable bonds… siblings! Remember, above all, that your eldest child needs to feel that he is and remains a source of happiness for you and his dad, so don’t hesitate to tell him and make him feel it.

Make him participate

Your child sees you “busy” around everything about the unborn baby and sometimes feels left out. Certain acts, such as prenatal visits, are of course reserved for adults, you can involve the elder in other ways. Prepare the room for example, ask his opinion, possibly offer him (without forcing him) to lend or give a stuffed animal … Similarly, you have probably kept some laundry for your first baby: sort it out with the eldest child. This is the opportunity to explain a lot of things to him: it was his before, you had put this little blue outfit on such an occasion, this little giraffe was in his cradle during his stay at the hospital…. A great opportunity to talk to him about your experiences with him again.

Remember the value of the example

If your child is currently the only one in the family, you can show him examples of siblings, of families that have grown. Tell him about his little friends who have a sibling. Also tell him about your own family, tell your childhood memories with your siblings. Promote the game, the confidences, the funny anecdotes, the giggles. Do not hide arguments and jealousy so that he understands that, if what awaits him is only happiness, his feeling of jealousy is perfectly normal. Finally, use the many books that exist on the birth of a baby brother or sister and which are very well done. They often become the bedside book for future seniors.

Avoid separation during childbirth

It is not always obvious but the ideal during childbirth is that the eldest stay with his dad in his usual living environment. This allows him not to feel excluded or to have the impression that something is hidden from him. He can participate by coming to see his mom and the new baby at the maternity ward, and he will feel valued to share a big dinner with dad when the evening comes. It is not always possible to do this, but the important thing is to explain what is going on, how long you will be absent, why you are in the hospital with the baby, what dad is doing during this. time…

Watch pictures / movies of him baby

Children love to see each other again and understand that they too have had their ” moment of glory “. If you kept them, show him the little gifts he himself received, the words of congratulations. Explain to him what you used to do with him when he was a baby, how you took care of him… Tell him how he was, what he loved and tell him that you love him and that he was a beautiful baby: because that’s what he means a lot for the new born !

Deal with his disappointment

Finally, this baby is not funny! He does not move, does not take part in any game, but really monopolizes mum. Many moms have heard this delicious phrase ” when do we bring it back? ». Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. Let him express his disappointment. There is no question of love there. Your child is simply expressing surprise and disillusionment. He had had a clear idea of ​​what it would be like to have a little brother or a little sister and things did not go as he had planned. He will also quickly realize that, for the moment, the baby does not take his place since he is not (yet) like him.

Let it regress

There are always moments of regression when a little one arrives. When they love, children identify with each other. So when he wets the bed or asks for a bottle, your eldest is regressing to be “like that baby” that everyone is interested in. But he also wants to be like his little brother because he loves him. We must not prohibit but rather verbalize. Show him that you understand why he wants to have a bottle for example (never the baby’s). He’s playing at being a baby, and you accept that to a certain extent. This phase, very normal, usually passes by itself when the child realizes that it is not so funny to be a baby!

Promote your place as a senior

The eldest of the family has the privilege of not having had to share his mother when he was a baby. It is sometimes good to recall it, with a photo or film to back it up. Beyond that, in the same way he quickly realized that it was not so interesting to play baby, your eldest will quickly understand the value of being the “big one”, especially if you help it. Emphasize all the special times you or dad have with him in particular (because you might not be able to with the baby). Go to a restaurant, play a game, watch a cartoon…. In short, being big gives him advantages that the little one does not have.

Create siblings

Even if you preserve moments “ tall With the elder, the reverse is just as important. The family is an entity. Take pictures of the two children together. Baby is the star, but don’t overlook the bigger one. Sometimes it helps a lot to gift a doll and even a little stroller to the older child to make them feel that they are truly sharing the birth story. Also encourage him to help you if he wants to: give a bottle, go get a diaper … Finally, after a few weeks, the bath is the first real activity that the siblings can share.

Help, baby grow up

It’s when the youngest is between 1 and 2 years old that things really get tough. He takes up a lot of space, takes his toys, shouts very loudly… In short, we notice him and he sometimes makes the eldest child forget. Often jealousy is at its peak during this period, as the baby tries to take his place in the siblings and in the hearts of the parents. Now is more than ever the time to share activities only with him, to make him feel how special and unique he is.