“You should not be angry with a younger student for refusing to study independently,” advises Marina Aromshtam*, Candidate of Pedagogical Sciences. “Whatever the reasons for his behavior, he needs your help and time to fully master this skill.”
“Your son or daughter has been going to school for years, but still refuses to do homework without their parents? There are at least three reasons for this lack of independence. The first of these is a chronic deficit … of your attention that a child experiences. Knowing that school matters are important to you, he almost unconsciously feigns helplessness in order to once again be in your company. If you enroll your child in an extended day group or hire a tutor who will supervise homework, you will have time for heart-to-heart communication. Another option is to divide homework assignments into «difficult» and «easy» assignments. Agree that the child will do the lungs himself, and you will help him with the difficult ones. The volume of independent work can be gradually increased.
The second possible reason for refusing to do homework is high school requirements. Your son or daughter is afraid that they will not correspond to them, and therefore they want to shift part of the responsibility onto you. What to do? Change your attitude towards grades. Do not demand from the child some fives. Appreciate his independence and desire to honestly do his job. Finally, for objective reasons, it may be difficult for him to study at the school of your choice, where the program is too complicated. Try to find another class or school with a classical program: a more relaxed environment will restore the child’s confidence in himself. But this does not mean that he will immediately cease to need your help. Many children take two or three years to learn how to work independently.”
* Author of the book «The house in which the baby lives» (Academy of Development, 2001).