PSYchology

Does a preschooler show off their things or skills? Switch his attention from his own achievements to the pleasure of the game, creativity and avoid competitive situations, child psychologist Elena Smirnova insists

“At about the age of three, children begin to show off: “Look what I have!”, “But this is how I can do it!” This is a natural stage of growing up: this is how the child asserts himself. But for some preschoolers, boasting dominates behavior for several years. They react painfully to the advantages of other children and not only try to show that they are the best, but also belittle the dignity of others: “Here I have it, but you don’t!”, “I can, but you can’t.”

Often this is the behavior of children whose parents want to see them as the best. The setting of adults for success (consciously or not) causes in the child an insatiable need for praise and superiority over others and becomes the main motive for his actions. He begins to treat himself and those around him exclusively evaluatively and, more than anything else, is afraid of being worse than others. The child feels anxiety and self-doubt, which, in turn, is compensated by boasting.

First of all, stop judging and comparing him to other children. Until the age of five, it is better to avoid competitive games, where competition inevitably arises and where victory is the main goal. Take a closer look at whether your son (daughter) plays, draws, and constructs enough. Teach him to build stories, animate dolls, create crafts. In a creative game, we evaluate not the child, but the result of labor. This helps him not to think in terms of “better or worse”, but to enjoy the process of playing.”

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