At 40 years
“I fled all the people who sent me negative waves. “
Marie-Josée, 46 years old, mother of Rémi, 3 and a half years old.
From the age of 12, I knew I would have difficulty getting pregnant. I am a “Distilbène girl”. My mother took this medicine before she had me, not knowing that it would cause serious health problems for her children. I have a malformation of the uterus and ovulation disorders that compromise pregnancy. I’ve always wanted a child, but I wanted to find the right person, the man who would be able to support me lying down for nine months. I wanted to get married, and then have a child. It is certainly a traditional vision, but it was important to me.
When I met my husband, I immediately knew that it was with him that I wanted to start a family. Despite all my gynecological problems, I got pregnant quite quickly after ovarian stimulation. It was a miracle, but I had to be careful because this pregnancy was going to be complicated. And indeed, I very quickly had a blood loss which forced me to lie down for the first three weeks of pregnancy. At three months, my cervix being open, the risk of miscarriage remained high, I was surrounded. Goodbye walks, work… I was practically bedridden until I was born. My air bubble was on Wednesdays, when I was giving singing lessons lying down to a group of little girls. A great happiness. I don’t have a negative memory of this period, on the contrary, I was so happy to be pregnant. It was so unexpected. When I announced my pregnancy to my relatives, everyone was very happy for us, they knew my background. In the less close circle, some told me it was madness, that my baby could be disabled. I made sure to run away from all the people who could send negative waves to me. And frankly, I haven’t really had any comments on my age. I’ve always been told I looked younger!
As for the medical profession, the doctors were very considerate and attentive. I was not particularly aware of the risk of Down’s syndrome. Anyway, my decision was made. After the 1st trimester ultrasound when everything seemed normal, I refused the serum marker test and therefore the amniocentesis. We wanted this baby more than anything, even if he had one extra chromosome. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, was extremely stressed.
After the birth, she told me that she was convinced that my baby would not be normal. My son was born in perfect health three days after the term, a shame when you know that I had a high risk of preterm birth! The first few days after giving birth, due to my placenta accreta, I lost a lot of blood and fatigue overwhelmed me. My age may have played into this intense exhaustion. Fortunately, everything was put back in order quite quickly. I measure every day how lucky I am to have had a child despite all my health problems. It makes me quite calm on a daily basis. At my age, my psychic construction is complete. “
Late pregnancy: the shrink’s opinion
The story of this woman is magnificent. It shows how these late pregnancies are experienced as miraculous. They can intervene after a laborious medical journey, at the time of a change of life or, as for Marie-Josée, result from a great romantic encounter. For her, it was obvious to have a child with this man. At 37 or 38, women who have not yet started a family often panic as they approach their forties. But as soon as they cross it, they are much more serene, motherhood is then more reflective, the baby becomes in a way a “gift”. At 40, we have acquired a sort of mental tranquility, maturity and above all a need for happiness. These future mothers will do everything to be happy and be surrounded by kindness. Marie-Josée put aside the things or people that could pollute her pregnancy. It is fundamental to take care of pregnant women because the slightest maliciousness can leave traces. Every word counts in whether or not a woman will have her child. Marie-Josée did not want to take the serum marker test, which proves that she was really confident in life, ready to welcome a child, even if he must have had a disability. She was in a state of psychological relaxation which meant that only the giving of life mattered. Motherhood works really well for older women, they have a feeling of prolongation of their youth.