«Since violence reappears in each era in new forms, we must constantly resume the fight against it.“, Wrote Stephen Zweig in Consciousness versus violence. A contemporary form of violence: harassment. Thus, moral harassment at work has been widely described by psychiatrist Marie-France Hirigoyen. His first book was published in 1998: a book which revealed a strong social concern. She writes : “Harassed people who until then suffered in silence have regained hope; they now dare to express themselves and denounce the practices of which they are the object. ” What to do with the stalker? 

«Moral harassment is linked to a lack of recognition of a subject in his humanity“, Writes psychiatrist Yves Pringent. The humorist Pierre Desproges also underlined the force with which certain words can hurt: “A word that comes well, it can kill or humiliate, without getting our hands dirty. One of the great joys of life is to humiliate others. ” Moral harassment can be described through the prism of the relationship between the victim and his aggressor, as well as the characteristics of their personalities; one person’s will to harm, the other’s inability to react.

Through the Law of Social Modernization, the French Parliament has recognized and included this phenomenon in the Labor Code. For the legislator, moral harassment exists when “an employee must be subjected to repeated acts which have as their object or effect a deterioration of working conditions liable to undermine their rights and dignity, alter their physical or mental health or compromise their future professional“. Several similarities with the articles concerning sexual harassment show the rapprochement by the legislator between the two forms of harassment: on a criminal level, both are punishable by one year of imprisonment and a fine of 15 euros.

In addition, “the definition of sexual harassment has been extended to acts by co-workers regardless of their hierarchical rank, as is the case for moral harassment, whereas previously only the acts of hierarchical superiors were taken into account“, Also writes the sociologist Claudia de Gasparo.

We all have in mind stories of young teenagers harassed for a hair color, shyness, a defect in their physical appearance … And social networks have only amplified this phenomenon, pursuing the young person to his home. him, via the Internet! The consequences can be dramatic: we think of the tragic cases where harassment ended up leading to suicide. Moral harassment can also lead to the chronicity of an illness, or even cause psychosis.

In moral harassment, the victims are in post-traumatic states, and not carriers of pathologies in the classic sense of the term: hence the ineffective nature of the usual psychiatric treatments, which prove, on the contrary, often effective in neuroses and psychoses.

«This relative ineffectiveness of therapies particularly implies the need for prevention, or at least screening, during the installation period, and the primary interest of early diagnosis.“, Insists psychiatrist Yves Prigent. It should be borne in mind that the aggressor, the stalker, frequently presents characteristics of perversity, which imply a strategy of using and then destroying others, without any guilt.

«As in a Hitchcock film or in The Spanish Prisoner by David Mamet (1997), the plot always unfolds according to the same pattern: the victim does not see that she is being manipulated; It is only when the violence becomes too obvious that the mystery is lifted with the help of outside interveners. Relationships begin with charm and seduction and end with terrifying psychopathic behaviors“. As described by Marie-France Hirigoyen, the behavior of stalkers leads, at first, to paralyze the victims. In the next phase, these will be destroyed. What to do then?

Marie-France Hirigoyen affirms it: it is strongly advised not to use the same weapons as the adversary. According to her, we must first identify: “For the victim, it is a question of spotting the perverse process which consists in making him bear all the responsibility.“, For example in the case of a marital or family conflict, or harassment occurring within a company. In addition, we must try to put aside the guilt.

The psychiatrist ensures: “Mothers must learn to recognize people who are toxic directly or indirectly for their children, which is not easy when it comes to a close relative.. ” Thus, we can get out of it once we have admitted that the aggressor, despite the feelings that we may possibly have for him, is dangerous for himself and malicious.

Another way: to act. The victim may have so far been too accommodating. He must change his strategy: act firmly, without fear of conflict. “Any change in attitude on the part of the victim generally provokes, initially, an escalation of aggression and provocations.“, Writes Marie-France Hirigoyen. However, from a frozen victim, the assaulted person must become the preventer from going around in circles. It will then be at the origin of an open crisis, which will allow life to be reborn. The longer the crisis is delayed, the more violent it will be.

It is essential to be able to resist psychologically. And that’s why, “it is important to be supported“, Considers Marie-France Hirigoyen, specifying:”Sometimes it takes just one person to know how to express their trust, regardless of the context, for the victim to regain confidence.. ” However, you should also know how to be wary of advice from friends or family because the immediate entourage is rarely neutral. Finally, for the psychiatrist, “the only valid supports are those who are content to be there, present, available, and who do not judge; those who, whatever happens, will know how to remain themselves«.

Sometimes the crisis can only be resolved by the intervention of the justice system. However, judges are very suspicious of perverse manipulations, as can be those of a stalker: indeed, they may fear being manipulated themselves.

A conciliation should never be done to the detriment of one. Occasionally, “the only way to protect the victim and prevent him from reacting to direct or indirect provocations is to put in place rigid legal orders and to avoid contact between the two parties“, Considers Marie-France Hirigoyen. In business, the occupational physician will play a key role. The psychiatrist insists: “Harassment occurs when the dialogue is interrupted, when the words of the person who is attacked cannot be heard. Doing prevention means reintroducing dialogue and genuine communication. “