Harassment at work: what it is and how to deal with it

People have a solid margin of opportunity to annoy each other. Gets and acquaintances (family members, colleagues, neighbors), and even strangers. Certain types of psychological harassment—including harsh words, unkind remarks, double entenders, intrusive attentions, questionable jokes, offensive acts, even threats and blackmail—are labeled harassment.

Harassment and its “relatives”

Concepts close to harassment also denote harmful actions in relation to other people:

• baiting,
• mobbing (coercion to dismiss an employee),
• abuse (bullying, violence using the dependent position of the victim),
• gaslighting (psychological manipulations that make the victim doubt their own adequacy),
• prank (telephone bullying).

It is difficult to say which of these “relatives” is the eldest or the youngest, but each took his position among the “pests”.

So, prank from the category of telephone provocations has become a favorite folk entertainment in the form of jokes and practical jokes. Social networks are filled with many videos in which the reaction of acquaintances and strangers to jokes of various levels is captured on camera – from innocent to those that require remarkable endurance. And if in harassment one of the characteristics is anonymity, hiding the very fact of harassment, then in prank it is publicity, the hunt for likes and views.

In a broad sense, harassment is always an annoying influence that violates a person’s personal boundaries. It implies any kind of harassment, although more often of a sexual nature.

How does the object of harassment feel?

Humiliation, psychological pressure, confusion, anxiety – for those who have been harassed, these experiences spoil their mood for a long time, pose a threat to psychological well-being and reduce the quality of life.

Today in our country there is no definite position of society regarding the topic of harassment. There is still an ironic tone in the perception of the injured party, victimblaming (accusation of the victims). And calls to develop the necessary preventive and protective measures are perceived as attacks and restrictions on men in showing their attention to women. And sometimes they are even regarded as a threat to relationships.

Trying to find the line between appropriate courtship and inappropriate behavior is complicated by the fact that most of the victims are women, which means that discussion on the feminist agenda (which can also cause ambiguous perception) cannot be avoided. At the same time, harassment does not have a gender identity. Both men and women are exposed to it.

Why do people behave like this?

What can trigger behavior that can be characterized as harassment? What forms it? Let’s try to highlight some of the reasons.

• Objectification – the perception of the other as a product or object for its use. Let’s take a man’s childhood memory as an example. Zoo visit: “I look through the glass at the magical underwater world. Unusual light, plants, grotto. An incredible fish swims by – quite large amazing fins, bright colors. The spirit is captivating! Voice behind: “Look, Vanechka, what a fish! Here we would have such a frying pan!” Aviary with a fox. The beast is still in a winter coat, but rushes from corner to corner, it’s a pity … “What a fox, if only it were on the collar!” It can be dad, mom, grandfather, grandmother. And they are not hungry at all, they do not go naked. But they teach the child to look at the world through the prism of their own consumption.
• sexual objectification – this is the attitude towards another person solely as an instrument for sexual satisfaction. The “objectification” of a woman is to reduce her to a picture, to an abstract image. A simple example is the use of such images in advertising, where a woman is artificially endowed with a number of characteristics that meet the interests of men. In this case, empathy and empathy are not provided.
• “Great Buyer” All over the world, the image is growing and gaining strength not of a hero, a scientist or a saint, but of a “great buyer”. He wants and can buy everything. He is happy and confident. The world exists for him, he deserves the best – this is what advertising says! He may not have money, but he wants to remain a great buyer, at least in his own imagination. And indeed, they cannot deprive him of the right to ask the price, choose a “product”, compare its characteristics, discuss its merits with other buyers, hope for a “giveaway”, “discounts and promotions”. Add anonymity to this and you have a picture of street harassment – whistling, shouting, remarking or annoying pestering.
• Power real and imagined. Getting a leadership role sometimes reduces the ability to understand the feelings of their subordinates, reduces the manifestation of empathy. And if the leader himself suffers from low self-esteem, then the subordinate-leader relationship can be built, based not on partnership and common goals, but on the humiliation of the subordinate. And the one who is endowed with power does not think about the propriety of his behavior in relation to the junior in position.
• Anonymity and impunity. Previously, a person’s behavior changed when from a village or a small town, where everyone knows each other, he ended up in a metropolis. With the advent of the Internet, the feeling of anonymity and impunity grows even more. The jokes become more and more dangerous and lose their innocence. You can write anything, the feeling of “untouchability” is preserved, the boundaries of what is permitted and the concept of decency are erased. In a recent study on this issue, 47% of respondents noted that they face aggression on the Internet more often than in real life.

What to do if you encounter harassment?

In Russia, people try to solve the problem on their own and not talk about these situations. But practice shows that this is wrong. The greater the resonance on this issue in society, the higher the chances of finding a common language, building boundaries, showing empathy and feeling secure – at work, in the store or on the way to the movies.

1. Try to recognize harassment. Be objective: some requirements and comments may be quite fair. For example, the rules of conduct in an ethnic group, temple or museum. The manager’s remarks about the quality of work or violation of deadlines can also be justified.
2. Be specific. If words or actions violate your personal boundaries – pushy offers, tactless jokes, or questionable compliments – don’t act like everything is fine. Your reaction should be direct, unambiguous and understandable to the aggressor. These can be “I-statements”: “I don’t like to hear this”, “I won’t do this”, “I don’t agree (disagree)”. An evasive and ambiguous response can be seen as agreement and encouragement to continue.
3. Find support. If you do not know how to react, or do not dare to openly protest, do not be silent, find support. It could be friends or relatives. If the situation develops at work, seek advice from Human Resources or the Employee Support Program. Find out what policies and procedures the company has regarding harassment.
4. Consult a psychologist. Get professional advice and support in a traumatic situation. A psychologist will help you sort out unpleasant circumstances and discuss options for getting out. You may need to discuss your emotional response to personal boundary violations, your level of anxiety or aggression.

If it concerns relationships at work, especially with a manager, you need to sort things out and try to find a way out, although in Russia most often such situations are solved by leaving the company.

One might get the impression that harassment was, is and will always be, along with other varieties of aggressive and annoying behavior. However, there is a general global trend – an increase in the level of awareness and psychological culture of people. The fact that annoying forms of behavior are given their names already speaks of the readiness of society to continue discussion and form norms of behavior and public morality. But it is still weak and needs legal support.