Haptonomy: it’s also good after birth!

1st session

Arriving in Drs Dolto and Hubert’s haptonomy cabinet in Paris, we are struck by a wall of photos of babies, who are between 1 and 3 months old, and who are already standing upright like i’s, their column raised towards the sky and the deep gaze, harpooning ours with a singular presence. These babies have in common to have been “accompanied in haptonomy”, sometimes as early as ten weeks of pregnancy. “ We are parent-child interpreters: it’s our job! », Quips Catherine Dolto. From the start of pregnancy, the haptotherapist has been teaching parents to perceive the child, feel his responses, and enter into a relationship with him. Parents thus communicate in depth with their unborn baby. And this early complicity acquired during pregnancy, this thirst for autonomy of the baby, will be able to be reinforced by pursuing haptonomy after birth.

Awake, toned, independent babies

« All its development is modified by what the baby went through before being born, so you have to continue postnatal, otherwise it is a broken promise. », Pleads Catherine Dolto. In fact, babies “accompanied” by haptonomy crave interactions and autonomy. « They are very awake. You see it in their eyes. Their whole being, their faculties are as lit », Testifies Gaël Hubert. Catherine Dolto explains: They’ve spawned neural circuits that other babies haven’t spawned yet. But the brain is formed very early, and what makes it active are these neural circuits. A child who memorizes feels called and suddenly responds during pregnancy, will be born with a brain modified by all of this. “ They are very wide awake, but peaceful babies. Not precocious, just children who have not been left fallow. »

What is haptonomy?

From the Greek “hapto” / touch and “nomos” / the law, it was defined by its founder Frans Veldman as the science of affectivity. The mother discovers that thanks to a part of her nervous system which is governed by the emotional brain, she can come into direct contact with her unborn baby very early on, from the inside, without even putting her hands on her belly. This affectivity will increase the awakening of the child, promote his autonomy and his confidence.

2nd session

Between the age of 3 and 4 months

La 2 e session is very important, because between 3 and 4 months, the cortex is growing impressively. The child opens up to the world. He wants to see elsewhere, “and if all goes well, his mother too!” », Smiles Catherine Dolto. There is a kind of little estrangement, with weaning, resuming work …

For haptotherapists, it is crucial to see the child again at this time to try to understand who this child is, whether it is more visual, auditory, tactile, motor or mixed.

It is also an opportunity to teach parents a certain number of gestures. which will allow the child to discover the support of the hands, arms and feet. “Because if we carry a child over 3 months old as we did with a child under 3 months, he will be bored,” warns Catherine Dolto.

The session also allows you to discover ways of playing together. “So many moments of exchange and beneficial nourishment for the intelligence of the child”, rebounds Gaël Hubert. Time is also devoted to sharpening one’s discernment: “ The child is placed on one knee, vertical. We put two different toys in front of him, and we invite him to say which one is the most interesting for him : “Show us your favorite toy. The child chooses, and we congratulate him. “

The questions: “What is the most beautiful, the fairest, the best for me? Are essential. “ Very early on, these babies sense what is good for them and what is not. In life, it will allow them to know what they want! »

The complicity acquired before birth will be able to be reinforced by pursuing haptonomy after birth.

3nd session

At 9 months, “the birthday”

« It is an important moment that must be solemnized, because from the baby’s 9 months, each day that passes is a time of echoing everything that the child has already experienced prenatal », According to Gaël Hubert. What we now know about 8th-9th month anxiety in babies can be interpreted as birthday syndrome of the pre-birth phase, including anxiety about how it will turn out. . “ But if we talk to the child, make him relive this era and the parents talk, all the symptoms disappear! », Says Catherine Dolto.

“After childbirth, there is often a period of amnesia in mothers. Those who have had a very difficult childbirth immediately afterwards forget it. And it comes back 9, even 18 months later! “ The goal is to have a space where everyone can tell, with the test of time, what trace left the birth. », Notes Gaël Hubert. “ Things that are not said in the immediate aftermath will be able to be said. »Like the fears of fathers who believed that their wives were going to die, that their babies were not breathing.…After 9 months, the father, mother and child will be able to really digest the birth, the birth. »

4nd session

Two months after the walk,

Time for limits

A very important session, because it will be an opportunity to make parents understand that they must set limits. Babies who have been “accompanied in haptonomy” are rather calm and peaceful. They generally cry less than others. And suddenly, he stands up and says NO with extraordinary power!

Parents must then dare to say no. Because, for Catherine Dolto: “ Well-cared for babies are so secure that they can get too powerful. They are expansive and each parental couple must be taught how to contain them. To contain is not to frame, it is to surround«.

“The message is: ‘Now that you are walking, you can understand that nobody does everything they want when they want where they want, not even dad, not even mom”. It’s a huge scoop for the kid! »That he must integrate in order to grow well. ”