The last INSEE census carried out in 2013 shows that now, one in ten children lives in a blended family. If the phenomenon was still rare a few decades ago, it has become largely commonplace in recent years. Focus on the relationship between half-siblings.

The arrival in the family of a half-brother or half-sister is an extremely important event in the life of a child. This other child not only strengthens the family bond between the parent and the step-parent but also confirms the final separation of the two biological parents.

The child is thus torn between disappointment (“my parents will never get back together”) and joy (“I will finally live in a new solid family”). In addition, the happiness of becoming a big-brother / big-sister is also shared with a feeling of jealousy and exclusion: “my half-brother / my half-sister will have the chance to live with both his parents while I am not. ‘will have that my dad / my mom’.

When the parent decides to have a child with the step-parent, the latter then changes status, he is no longer only the partner of the father or the mother but becomes the father or the mother of the half-brother / half -sister. A deeper bond is created and usually strengthens the family.

If he already had siblings, the child had a solid place among his siblings. The arrival of his half-brother or his half-sister can upset his status, for example by making him go from youngest or youngest to big-brother / big-sister. In addition, the child may find himself uncomfortable within a new united family from which he feels more or less excluded. It is therefore necessary to reassure him, promote him and make him feel guilty.

For this, the parent must remind him that their relationship will always remain as strong and that it too was the fruit of the love between two parents. Allaying his fears by reassuring him of the affection that each parent has for him is essential when the baby is coming. It is also important to remain very attentive to your needs during this time.

The step-parent can encourage the child to take care of the baby and value him by inviting him to take full advantage of his place of big-brother / big-sister.

Finally, if the other parent is still alone or is having trouble with the new relationship, they should avoid confiding in the child as much as possible. Indeed, a child who feels that the other parent is sad will find it difficult to feel comfortable within his new family. Out of loyalty, he will feel guilty and take longer to find his place knowing that his other parent is suffering from this new union.

We speak of “quasi” siblings when the blended family brings together several children from different unions, for example, when the stepfather’s children come to live in the house. This particular relationship appears to be easier to manage in young children than in adolescents. In this type of case, the sharing of parents, the notion of territory and the place in the siblings can become problematic. Let us note, however, that among them, the children tend to speak more of half-siblings than of “quasi” brothers and sisters; a strong and deep relationship is created, regardless of their grievances.

So that everyone feels good and finds their place, it is advisable to organize several meetings between the children before moving in together. Sharing leisure time and meeting each other more and more often for several months is undoubtedly a necessary step in order not to upset the children in their daily lives.

If the two parents decide to live together and the children have to share a house (sometimes even a room), then it is better to let them take their marks. Drawings, photos of all the members of the blended family, more or less free decoration in the bedrooms, etc. It is important to let them take ownership of the place.

Common pleasures (outdoor activities, trips, etc.) will be many opportunities to strengthen relationships between children. The same goes for small rituals that will strengthen their feeling of belonging to the same tribe (going to the zoo every month, pancake night on Sunday, etc.).

The arrival of a new member in the family is not trivial for a child, preparing him, reassuring him and valuing him are all acts that will help him to live this important stage in his life as well as possible.