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Adrian is 20 years old and passed his high school diploma. More than 11 years ago, he was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), a serious neurodevelopmental disorder thought to be a milder form of childhood autism.
At the moment, thanks to the therapy, Adrian managed to control many problems resulting from this disorder. He can also understand with understanding his experiences from childhood and school years. They also have a chance to find a job that is right for them.
Childhood with Asperger’s Syndrome
From my childhood, I remember the first time I went to kindergarten. I cried terribly then. After that it got a little better, but it felt strange among so many kids. It took time for me to adapt there. I had one good friend as well as several others whom I enjoyed playing with. I still remember that time quite well. The problems started in primary school. In the second grade, right after Holy Communion, my father left us. Now I know that something was falling apart between him and my mother for a long time. Then I thought it was my fault, I tried to persuade my father not to do it. However, he left. From that moment on, my mental problems started. I had very strong fears, especially at night, due to my insecurity. I was crying. I was shaking. I could not sleep. It wasn’t until I was completely exhausted that the anxiety attack passed and I managed to fall asleep. I was also afraid of such trivial things as, for example, driving in an elevator.
My behavior, my preferences were characterized by “stiffness” – I could eat only certain dishes, I was disgusted with others. For example, I haven’t touched dairy products. Now I eat some dairy products, but there are still some that I don’t eat.
I also remember from my early childhood that I devoted a lot of time to my interest in railways. I could spend several hours a day drawing tracks or other train-related elements, and I was also playing with the train.
At school, I did well at first. It wasn’t until the fourth grade that the problems started. I was not accepted by my peers, they rejected me, provoked me to various unacceptable behaviors. They played with me, made fun of me, used aggression, both verbal and physical. I don’t know why, but I think they had some permission for it also from the teachers who thought I was an untrained, arrogant boy. My tormentors were summoned to the headmaster several times, but they were not removed from the school. This was the case both in primary school and in junior high school.
Diagnosis and therapy
At the end of the 2000rd grade, due to night terrors, I ended up in the Psychiatric Ward of the Lithuanian Hospital in Warsaw. It was in XNUMX. Then I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. I took this information indifferently, it did not matter to me. I believed that everything was okay with me, I rebelled terribly against going to a psychiatrist or therapists. I avoided it like fire.
I decided to start therapy at the end of my third year of junior high school. My mother made me do it to some extent. Throughout high school, it was because of these social problems that I preferred to isolate myself and spend long hours sitting in front of the computer. My mother noticed that it made me neglect my duties. Under the threat of having my computer removed from my home, I was forced to go to therapy. It was individual behavior therapy. Its purpose was to improve my behavior. I admit that I had, among others problems with self-control, that there were outbursts of aggression, that I was not able to properly control my emotions.
Now I am under the care of the Synapsis Foundation, where as part of the “Employ an ace” project I have both social skills training and individual conversations with a psychologist. In addition, I also participate in the activities of the youth club run by the Youth Aid Society in Warsaw. People with similar problems come there. I function much better now. Not that it is perfectly good, but it is much better than it used to be. I am looking for contacts with other people, although it is not easy. I’m shy with people I don’t know. There are also no internet connections. Sometimes I comment on social networks, but only about my interests. I am distrustful and I need to get to know the person I want to reveal myself to. I need to know that this person won’t hurt me, won’t use what I tell them to destroy my life. That is why I am very careful that it does not happen.
Plans and dreams
I would like to go to college, study in some math, it could be electronics or mechanics, building robots. I am also interested in meteorology. This year I will be looking for a field of study that interests me. If I do not find anything interesting, I will try to pass the Matura exam again to improve the degree, because then you do not need to take an exam to study. My other dreams? I’d love to have a girlfriend.
Comment by Szymon Kukanow, Adrian’s therapist
Szymon Kukanow is a trainer working on the Project of Professional Activation of Adults with Asperger Syndrome, run by the Synapsis Foundation. The project involves 15 people divided into two groups. Adrian takes part in both group activities and individual talks with his trainer.
Characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome
Using the example of Adrian’s story – explains Szymon Kukanow – we can discuss three elements of disorders typical of Asperger’s Syndrome. These are disturbances in communication and in social and interpersonal relations (what Adrian said – fear when meeting new people, feeling increased tension during such contacts). The third characteristic group of symptoms are “stiffnesses” in behavior and thinking, i.e. the ritualization of life.
Communication problems include not only shyness, but also on the fact that people with Asperger’s Syndrome receive information or a message unambiguously. This does not apply to Adrian, who has a sense of humor and often uses an ambiguous saying. But it wouldn’t be surprising if a person with Asperger’s Syndrome, when he heard a command like, “Do it on one leg,” doesn’t actually start jumping on that leg. Hilarious as it sounds, these types of figurative sayings should be avoided in relation to people with autism and Asperger’s Syndrome.
Problems in interpersonal relationships may be at different levels, but they can be overcome through therapy. Adrian is a perfect example of a man, a man who coped with it perfectly. Adrian is currently initiating meetings with other people in the Synapsis area as part of the “Employ an ace” project, but also at the youth club. He has taken a huge step forward in this respect. Many people will never be able to at least accept an invitation to such meetings that he organizes. These are people for whom participation in our project will be impossible, because it requires them to look into themselves and what it is like in training classes, also to give something of themselves to other members of the group. For many people with Aspergers Syndrome, it is associated with too much effort and psychological burden.
The “stiffness” Adrian mentioned is an attachment to certain rituals. Sometimes the rhythm of the whole day is subordinated to it. This may be the case for a chair, for example. This person only sits on one chair of their choice. Ritualisation is often about nutrition. For example, we had a project candidate who ate only dry bread as a child. People with Asperger’s Syndrome choose some product they eat, and they will not force themselves to eat another. As Adrian said, other dishes besides the chosen one disgusted him. The reasons for these culinary and other choices are unknown.
Working with Asperger’s Syndrome
Punctuality is a common feature of people with Asperger’s Syndrome. At the same time, it is connected with the intolerance of being punctual in others. So if the person they made an appointment with is 5 minutes late, they may not be there anymore. Other positive qualities of people with this syndrome are a high level of technical skills, accuracy and concentration, memory for facts and numbers, logical approach to tasks. Of course, we do not find these traits in all people diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, but those with them are very good candidates for certain professions and jobs. These are the people we work with as part of the Vocational Activation Project for Adults with Asperger Syndrome at the Synapsis Foundation.
One of the classes is social skills training, the other is IT training – computer skills and other skills needed in the office (administrative work, work related to statistics, data entry and others). We are also conducting individual talks with all participants. These conversations, on the one hand, refer to what is currently happening in the project, on the other hand, they refer to individual difficulties in everyday life. One-to-one meetings are very useful because the entire spectrum of autism varies enormously and the needs of each participant are slightly different. It is broadly understood psychological help.
We started the social skills training with self-awareness, with answers to the questions: who am I, what makes me as a person, what are my strengths and weaknesses, what are my talents. Then we shared knowledge about Asperger’s Syndrome so that people with AS could integrate with their otherness, learn about their limitations, but also the strengths that result from this fact. For example, many people diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome are interested in science, meteorology, and physics. Often their knowledge is deep and precise in these areas and they can become exceptional experts. That is why we want to help people with AS to stand on their own feet in the open labor market.
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