Sean Carroll began to train restraint, defeated fits of rage and changed his character.
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Education is, first of all, the creation of habits. “Form a habit, you reap a character. You form a character — you reap a destiny … »
Do we need special motivation to wash, comb our hair and get dressed in the morning? No, we usually do all this automatically, just out of habit. We are made of habits, and habits are simply the result of repetition. A habit is usually formed in 21 days, and what previously required effort for itself becomes already easy and habitual. So, you need to create good habits: first of all for yourself, and secondly for those around you who you can influence. Indeed, why instill in children the habit of exercising in the morning, brushing their teeth after meals, or hanging clothes in the closet instead of throwing them on the bed? The main question is how? How right?
Everyone knows the very first answer: you just need to start doing it, keep doing it, and soon you will get used to it.
A person gets used to everything. It is curious: if a child ran away from home and lived in the garbage dumps for more than a year, after that it is almost impossible to return him to a normal life. Your comfort is foreign to him. He is already accustomed to that life …
In summary, if you want to train yourself to run in the morning, you just need to start running. If you want to start going to bed today, that is, before 24.00:XNUMX (great habit!), you just need to start going to bed on time. Everything is simple.
The first few days will be interesting, then for two weeks you need to take care of yourself and sometimes force yourself, but if you hold out, after about three weeks it will become easy and natural for you. And in three months it will become part of your character and your way of life. It will become easy for you, it will already be strange for you to live without it or somehow differently … Also, if you decide to douse yourself with cold water: even if you started in the summer and you liked it, first you need efforts to organize yourself for it. After three weeks, it became a habit, it became natural, and by the fortieth day, the habit gradually turns into a need: if you haven’t poured yourself today, it’s already somehow strange for you. Something is already missing…
This is the rule, this is how it usually happens, and this should be followed.
It is useful to remember the anecdote about the blonde who somehow decided to swim across the Atlantic Ocean: she swam for twenty-two hours, and when there were only a few kilometers left to finish, she gave a radiogram: “I can’t, I’m tired. I’ll swim back!» If you start to develop a habit and last a couple of weeks, it is foolish to give up a business in which you have invested so much, especially since there is very little left before the habit is formed. In summary: if you start something new and quit every time, after torturing yourself for a week, you will only suffer all your life. If you accustom yourself to the new a little longer, the new becomes familiar and natural. What was previously alien becomes ours. Remember the timing: 21 days and 40 days.
In order for a person to form a habit, his attention must be attracted. And not just to attract, but to hook. Then, get interested. When he is interested, create a feeling and confidence that this is in principle possible for him. Give the opportunity to try and provide an easy first step, the first good luck. Next, give a clear vision of what is needed for success, what steps are ahead of him, and provide a procedure for implementation.
Will the habit become a character trait? — It will become when adding several circumstances: 1) if a person understands the meaning, the need for this new habit; 2) if the new actions of a person fit well into his lifestyle and are supported by his environment; and, finally, 3) if visible positive results from the acquired habit soon begin to appear.
For example, you decide to run in the morning. What for? If this decision is random, impulsive, you were simply told that it was good and you just decided to try it — most likely, there will be little sense. If you really understand the meaning of the morning run, you can explain this meaning to all your friends and acquaintances, especially if you have already captivated someone with this idea too — a good start. Next up: Is Morning Jogging Right for Your Lifestyle? If you have nowhere and no time to run out, if because of your run you have already strained your entire family and yourself, most likely you need to come up with something else. If running fits easily into your morning, after running it is nice to take a shower, have breakfast and joyfully start a new day — this is yours. When, after a couple of months, you will feel much lighter and more cheerful, when friends and colleagues will begin to envy you. you will receive several compliments about your appearance and overall vigor — you will understand that you will never part with this habit. It’s easy and it brings you joy!
Regarding point 1, namely “understanding the meaning and necessity of a new habit,” if a person does not understand the meaning, the person starts to get angry, comment negatively on what is happening, and so on, then negative parallel reinforcement occurs.
That is, the point is not in the very understanding of the meaning, but in how and with what the development of a habit is accompanied. It’s just that usually, if a person understands the meaning, he accompanies the formation of a habit with positive parallel reinforcement: internal approval, positive comments, a pleased face. And if you do exercises for 21 days, each time making a grimace of a martyr and waiting for these 21 days to end, then these 21 days in reality you develop a habit of negative feelings about exercise↑. On the other hand, if even there is no understanding of the meaning, but the person follows (or someone from outside) follows the format, avoiding negative parallel reinforcement, then habituation and habit formation proceeds as usual.
Like the inculcation of skills and habits, education is based on the repetition (reproduction) of the desired behavior. The repetition is started via:
- use of imitation,
- organization of the control situation,
- commands, suggestions, instructions,
- positive and negative reinforcements. (positive or negative training, rewards and punishments)
The condition for effective upbringing through accustoming is the upbringing of the child: his controllability, his ability to succumb to education. Vivid emotional experiences facilitate and accelerate the formation of a habit. When a habit is formed from experience almost instantly, they talk about anchoring. It is easier to form a new habit than to wean yourself from an unwanted habit.
Rules of training
To teach something more effectively, it is useful to know the following rules: meaning, easy start, positive background, environmentally friendly punishment system, appropriate breaks, methodical.