Guide to Correct Criticism

It took a long time to write this manual. And I literally spent the last year gathering, every time I came across phrases like: “well, you wrote this, so you should be ready for criticism”, “you do not adequately perceive criticism”, “you are offended by well-deserved criticism”, “you, apparently, you can’t criticize, but you can only praise”, “I’m just giving you feedback”, “I want to help you, but you!”, “This is the Internet, baby.” And so on and so forth.

I can no longer be silent. Writing.

People! Thank you so much for being so generous. It’s incredibly cool when someone is so anxious about others that he spares no time and knowledge for comments and criticism. It’s very valuable, and it’s really important. Please take care of this indifference in yourself.

Only now about the fact that the above is precisely criticism, someone cruelly deceived you.

What we call criticism and seasoned with all these types of sauces, in fact, is not even close to it. Unfortunately, we are not all taught to criticize — neither in schools, nor anywhere else (except perhaps in a literary university). But we are all taught to treat ourselves and others harshly and even aggressively. Therefore, under the guise of criticism, many good people try to shove aggression, resentment, claims, discomfort, unsolicited advice, a picture, a basket, a cardboard box and a little dog into each other. What often makes each other undeservedly hurt. And real criticism, which would stimulate development — and which is really very necessary! — in the end, very, very little. Literally with lanterns and a shovel you have to search, and it is doubtful that there will be.

Let’s talk about criticism, about how to do well and how, if possible, not to do badly — and try to change our world for the better. BUT? BUT?

So what is criticism? This is an analysis, evaluation and analysis of any work, phenomenon or product (and even a person), indicating the possibilities for improvement.

What is the purpose of criticism? Oddly enough, but — to help its object in improving itself or its creation, to stimulate development. Correct criticism evokes good feelings and positively motivates, because the object of criticism understands that he is not alone, he is being helped, they are worried about the quality of his work from a “shoulder to shoulder” position.

​​​​​​​A person of Russian culture with the previous paragraph usually wants not just to argue, but to smash it to smithereens, because it doesn’t fit in his head. And there are reasons for this: the fact is, dear readers, that you and I grew up in very harsh conditions, in which there were few gingerbread cookies, and much more whips than we would like. I don’t even mean families (although theirs too), but the conditions in general, the environment that has been surrounding us for many years. This environment is characterized by mass «incontinence of negative affect», that is, the absolute normality of public reactions of any degree of harshness to everything in a row, without thinking about whether they are appropriate and adequate. If you google the word “criticism” (in Russian), then the results will almost entirely consist of texts about destructive criticism — about accusations, dissatisfaction, claims and anger. This is how our culture perceives this word and this phenomenon.

For those who do not want to study, but want to continue doing as convenient, I suggest that you close the page right from this place, because I can’t help you 🙁

And with those who remain, let’s look at the two most common mistakes that people of our mentality make in the process of criticism.

1) First, they give their opinion without being asked.