Gratitude in family relationships

This article received the audience award at the competition of popular science articles on psychology, which was held by the FSBEI HPE «AmSUH» in conjunction with the site «Happy Family».

Is gratitude just a part of etiquette or something more? As children, we were taught to say thank you. Should we continue to give thanks when we have grown up? Outsiders — «yes», but the closest?

I have one friend — she has been with her man for more than five years. They are a beautiful married couple, the first months of their relationship — it seemed to me that he was ready to move mountains for her: he gave her many flowers, complimented her and believed that she was the best. But time passed — and she said that the flowers had disappeared somewhere, and she had already forgotten the last time she heard compliments from him. Complaints, complaints, complaints I hear from her in the direction of my husband. Does she pay attention to what he does for her: “He cooks so deliciously for you, you almost don’t know what it’s like to approach the stove! Do you appreciate? — «So what?? He must!» “Did you appreciate flowers? Was she happy when he gave them to you? “Why should I be happy with them? Should he give me flowers? This is life with a minimum of gratitude to her husband, if a person always owes something, then you stop appreciating what he does so much!

And you can live differently, look at the apartment, at your husband, at everything he does: he brings money to the house, kisses him in the morning and helps around the house. And then delete it all. Like, no…everything disappears, even the cat is gone. And you are alone. And then it will flash through the minds of many: horror … horror! horror! horror! It takes 2 seconds, you replay the loss of your husband, and after that there is a refreshment of the situation, feelings and behavior.

And then you begin to appreciate even the fact that he just came, and if he also brought flowers, then this is generally happiness. And a man really needs to feel the gratitude of a woman. If he feels that his efforts have not been in vain, then he will double them with renewed vigor. Gratitude is not only the word «thank you», it can sound like this: «Hurrah!! I like it so! Where did you find such beautiful flowers? I am the happiest». This is not a banal thank you, but with such an expression of feelings, we showed the man that his action is important to us. And when he wants to see the smile and happy eyes of his beloved again, he will give flowers again, and maybe a whole garden!

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