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Thank each other! It’s the simplest thing you can do for your marriage, scientists say. Saying “thank you” in time not only eliminates the unwanted effect that arises from quarrels and misunderstandings, but also increases the level of happiness in the family as a whole.
“We found out that if a spouse sees that he is loved and appreciated in the family, the quality of marriage improves. In addition, mutual attention and gratitude affects how partners see and evaluate their union, which, in particular, determines its duration, ”says Ted Furtis, co-author of a study conducted by psychologists from the University of Georgia (USA). ). In the course of a telephone survey, they found out how it is customary to communicate in families, how spouses express their feelings … The results showed that in the happiest and most high-quality marriages, spouses are used to saying “thank you” to each other.
Pass the tests
- Are your reproaches against your partner fair?
- How kind are you?
- Can you be happy?
“Our survey shows the absolute power of a simple ‘thank you’,” said study director Allen Barton. “Even if a couple is experiencing difficulties in a relationship, gratitude helps to bring them back to normal and improve the climate in the family.” Studies have also shown that the more often spouses express their gratitude to each other, the less a husband and wife think about divorce. In addition, the negative effect of quarrels is reduced.
“If a couple is in crisis: one family member is constantly demanding and grumbling, and the other is trying to avoid conflict, it is gratitude and appreciation that helps the spouses get out of the peak, get rid of negative emotions and stabilize the relationship,” says Tad Fatris. “For the first time, we have been able to document that a marriage becomes more stable and better when spouses feel gratitude towards each other,” adds Alain Barton. “We think this is important because it means that almost any couple can strengthen their marriage, even if they are not particularly good at resolving conflicts.”
Read more:
- “Only gratitude makes life rich”
The results of the conducted research confirmed early guesses and that in the event of a tense financial situation in the family, gratitude can fix a lot. When a couple barely makes ends meet, spouses often begin to criticize each other, become very closed, they may even begin to avoid each other, which, of course, leads to a deterioration in relations.
However, simple gratitude can break the circle and help a couple overcome their problems. A simple “thank you” proves that we appreciate what a partner has done for us.
All couples fight and go through crises. If the relationship remains tense, spouses fight more often. Scientists are sure that long and happy marriages differ from short and unhappy ones not in how often a husband and wife quarrel, but in how they quarrel and how partners treat each other in everyday life.
See more at PsychCentral publications.