Spoiler alert: easy and simple, though not out of spite.
When the first child is born, it is difficult to do without the help of loved ones: you do not always know what to do, how to handle this tiny miracle. Yes, and you need to come to your senses after childbirth, get used to a new life. The help of my grandmother is indispensable here. But sometimes even she, a loved one, can spoil the life and mood of a young dad and mom. And the mother-in-law or mother-in-law is doubly capable of this.
“You need to feed according to the schedule”, “Do not carry the baby in your arms, let it lie down and cry out”, “Pampers are evil, they cause infertility and prostatitis”, “The breasts must be washed with soap before and after feeding”, “Be sure to give the child a drink” … There are a lot of such councils. All these recommendations of Soviet origin have long lost their relevance, like tight swaddling and the rejection of mashed potatoes from jars in favor of homemade complementary foods, although you cannot do anything worthwhile from cotton store vegetables. Proving to a grandmother that she is wrong can be very difficult, and sometimes even impossible. And no doctors, pediatricians, authorities from medicine will help – “What do they know, these doctors!”
How many has already been said on this score, how many times Doctor Komarovsky lamented that parents completely in vain tightly seal the windows and doors in the room with the child, so that not the slightest draft does not leak out – everything is useless. The older generation stubbornly wraps up babies, puts a heater next to it and clogs up the windows. Any gesture towards the window ends with a shout: “I’m out of my mind, you’ll chill the child!” And it’s easier to agree than to live in screams that boil down to the fact that you are a bad mother.
Very often grandmother wants to emphasize in conversations with acquaintances how much she does for young parents. “Imagine, my daughter-in-law doesn’t know how to hold it properly. They need to be taught everything, they are so helpless ”- such comments cause an acute desire to forbid grandmother to appear in the house at all. You might think that some of us are born with a package of knowledge on how to properly handle a child.
“Why hasn’t this been tidied up with you? Are the dishes not washed? Didn’t you cook dinner for your husband? He will come home from work hungry. ” Is it okay that mom has a sleepless night, baby colic, stomach aches, head splits, baby does not get off his hands and not a crumb in his mouth since yesterday morning? And you still have to go to the store and somehow miraculously wash. “We did everything in time, without any washing machines or dishwashers” – a victorious glance. Well done for that. Can I take a shower now?
Spreading honey on a pacifier, offering a four-month-old baby a tangerine or a piece of fish, despite requests not to do so, is a common practice. “Well, he tastes good!” – and that’s it, the grandmother no longer hears any arguments. Neither about possible allergies, nor about indigestion, nor about the fact that citrus fruits up to a year should not be given to a child at all. “I raised my children, I know what I’m doing,” the grandmother says resentfully. And it’s also good if you notice such experiments, otherwise they are secretly striving!
Okay, if there are any harmless means – put warm socks on the legs of the child with a cold, prepare a rinse from herbs. This is all useful and not harmful at all. And if you wrap it up, close the windows even more tightly and put your feet in a basin of hot water – this is generally a slaughter. So it is not long and to start going to the old ladies-healers, “rolling out a hernia”, “removing fear” or some other obscurantism to engage in instead of going to the doctor.
When the baby grows up, a new era of “grandmotherism” begins. Not always, of course, but it happens. “Well, did you miss me, my little one? Did these parents offend you? ” – the grandmother hugs her grandson. Parents silently turn green with anger, flow around and swear to themselves that they will come even less often. And they will probably stop calling to them. Because the child returns from his grandmother with the attitude “I am the king here”.