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The desire to work on oneself most often begins with the fact that a person is faced with certain problems, but dealing with their own problems is a dead end path.
The easiest way for people to see their problems is what bothers them and what hinders them. You can deal with your problems for a long time, usually it is unproductive.
Very often, when a person is dissatisfied with himself and his life, he begins to scold himself for the mistakes he has made, for his lack of intelligence, for his cowardice, for his laziness and lack of concentration. He wants to eradicate his shortcomings, he starts to fight with himself, but this fight is rarely successful. If a person sees in himself, first of all, his shortcomings, it is difficult for him to confidently rely on something. To be more successful in your development, you need to pay attention first of all to your strengths, to what you can rely on yourself. Do not fight with your shortcomings, take care of multiplying your virtues. See →
To move forward effectively, another thing is important — it is important to learn how to correctly set goals. Once again: while you think about your problems, you are marking time. As soon as you thought about your goals, your movement forward began.
Where to begin? You need to start by understanding what you want. It all starts with your goals, with what you want to achieve.
If you want to become a successful person, start looking at successful people, try to be surrounded by successful people more often, watch how successful people behave, how they talk, how they make decisions … Ask them, write down their answers, think about them … Observe, how they dress, what intonations and expression of their eyes they have, what gestures they have … Take a closer look at what they appreciate, what they are attentive to, and what does not touch them and is indifferent to them. You will never become a copy of them, and this is not necessary, but to adopt their strong features and traits is important, useful, necessary. Later you will find your way, others will take an example from you, but for now it’s your turn to “learn scales”, master the basics of success.
For a man, a good motivation to develop is a goal that goes beyond his current lifestyle. It may be a desire to create your own business, to realize big life plans. Or the image of the woman he loves, whom he so dreams of meeting. And for the sake of such a goal, a man will be ready to move mountains, work day and night, actively changing himself and the life around him. Such a goal will allow you to move much further than the goal that lies in the zone of proximal development.
If you yourself do not understand what you want — do not be upset, you are just a normal person. Most people live like this — not understanding where they are going in life and why they are doing it. They just live. However, there are people who go beyond these limits, choosing to live boldly and meaningfully. You, too, can become one.
The first thing that will help you is to describe everything that you dream about, that you want to receive in this life in the most lively and free way ↑. Recorded? Are you happy? And now there is work to be done — you need to turn your desires into goals. Desires and goals are different things, not everyone knows how to set goals correctly. We remind you of the basic requirements: goals must be formulated positively, goals must be specific, goals must be written down↑.
Recorded?
After that, we pull up resources.
Determine the direction of work
In order to advance in work on yourself, it is not enough to be dissatisfied with what you have now, it is important to have a good idea of where you want to move, to decide on the direction.
At the same time, even if a person has set a goal for himself, this does not mean at all that his goal is reasonable, adequate and correct. What should you do to determine the direction of your development correctly? It is best to talk about this with smart people: it can be your relatives, your friends, it can be a psychologist-coach. See →