Go in for sports … today!

There is no time, no mood, and in general it is tiring to drive … When we do not have enough strength to start playing sports or resume activities after a break, we habitually resort to these arguments. But after some time we cannot but admit to ourselves that these are just excuses. Then we gather our courage and still go to the gym … internally committing some violence on ourselves. “Many of us from childhood learn about sports as an activity that is necessarily associated with competition, achievements, competition,” says psychologist Olga Lovi, candidate master of sports in pentathlon. – And such an attitude only adds to the physical fatigue from training a feeling of mental fatigue. As a result, a person often loses heart and stops doing it altogether.

School complexes

We still have the memory of school grades in physical education, of passing standards … Because of this “sports past”, some simply cannot imagine how one can engage in some kind of physical activity of one’s own free will, and not because “it’s necessary “. “Physical education lessons are the most unpleasant school memory for me,” says 26-year-old Nika. – I was very shy, I stumbled all the time, they laughed at me … If now I went, say, to fitness, there would probably be less such difficulties. But because of what I went through in those school lessons, it’s hard for me to even think about it.” For those who lacked dexterity in childhood or who were hindered by excess weight, the feeling of “sports inferiority” can remain for a very long time. It is still not easy for 34-year-old Andrey to overcome it: “In the gym, it begins to seem to me that everyone is looking at me and evaluating whether I succeed or not.”

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• Managing emotions through sports

“The desire to avoid awkwardness, failure at all costs prevents us from focusing on the exercise: we are constrained by a sense of shame, fear of making the wrong move, losing,” explains sports psychologist Michel Roy*. – And then we tend to blame ourselves for our mistakes – for lack of ability or effort. And if something succeeds, then we rather believe that we achieved success by accident, that the task was too simple – in a word, it turns out that we have no merit in this! However, the ability to treat one’s own victories with well-deserved pride, without worrying about the opinions of others, is much more productive and forms the morality of a winner in a person.”

Understand the causes of “false starts”

Do we really understand why we want to play sports? Most often, in response to this question, we do not hesitate to repeat the traditional arguments of doctors and phrases from magazines: to be in good shape, reduce stress levels, stay young and slim longer, solve health problems. But there are deeper reasons behind these explanations, which are related to our idea of ​​ourselves.

“Going in for sports to lose weight is a visible goal that says little about our true desires, about our deepest motivation,” explains Olga Lovi. – For example, a person whose appearance parents did not approve of in childhood, were too critical of him…” At the same time, our desires can be very contradictory. So, 35-year-old Lyudmila, who once set up a real gym at home, abandoned fitness seven months ago. “For many years I did everything to keep my appearance under complete control,” she explains. – My mother, as far as I remember her, also always carefully monitored not only her form, but also mine. At some point, I just felt that I was becoming addicted to my workouts. The very idea that the body needs to be perfected endlessly now brings me deep anguish. I want to be considered beautiful whether I’m thin or fat. Although deep down I want something else – to become as thin and athletic again as before … “

“One part of our “I” may desire movement, physical activity, and the other does not,” confirms psychotherapist Michele Freud (Michele Freud). – For example, a woman who was admired by everyone in childhood, when she was a charming chubby child, will not be easy to become more fit, because deep down she has an unconscious idea: to be full means to be approved, to like. On an unconscious level, she is satisfied that all her attempts to lose weight remain unsuccessful.

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• This is not (quite) fitness!

Meet your body

“Some of us just don’t have the experience of feeling comfortable in our body,” says Gestalt therapist Olga Dolgopolova, who has been doing fitness every day for six years now. “It’s unusual for such people to feel good, they unconsciously consider feeling unwell and depressed mood rather as the norm.” And to strive for what we know only abstractly, in theory, is very difficult.

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• How does sport affect our character?

To move means to feel that our body exists. Although today many of us often have to ignore its signals, do not pay attention to them. We don’t realize that our muscles are tense, that it’s time for us to rest, or at least get up and stretch after a few hours spent at the computer … because our life is more subordinate to the work schedule, our obligations, and not the rhythm of our body. Olga Dolgopolova is sure that it is this violation of contact with our body that often prevents us from enjoying sports. “Those who are separated from their bodily experiences need to find their way back to their body, get in touch with their sensations and feelings, and ultimately with themselves.”

“Fortunately, sometimes the fire of our determination can flare up from a single spark, as if by magic,” says psychotherapist Gerard Apfeldorfer. And compares such a spontaneous desire to start moving with love at first sight. “Sometimes the word of a person whose opinion means a lot to us, a desire to please someone or a feeling of bodily discomfort is enough – something gives rise to a response in us, although we ourselves do not understand exactly what happened.” If we feel an urgent need to put a decision into action, then it has matured as a result of our coming to terms with ourselves. “It is very important that the decision made becomes part of us, that it is lived in accordance with our deepest essence,” emphasizes Gerard Apfeldorfer. – And then we no longer need to force ourselves: it seems that we have always dreamed of moving, doing. From a heavy load, sport turns into a need and is no longer associated with coercion.

To the movement – with pleasure

“I like!” 62-year-old Antonina replies with a smile when asked why she has been going to water aerobics three times a week for almost a year and a half. However, she is not a supporter of strict discipline and has never been fond of sports. She perceives her trips to the pool differently: “I began to go there to stay in shape and not gain weight. But there are many other advantages: I like to move consciously, to feel my body, what it can do. It’s also an excuse to get out of the house and hang out with friends.” And yet, we must admit that even among the most motivated of us, the mind sometimes resists the need to train the body. Rain or frost can greatly dampen our desire to change into uniform in the locker room or go for a jog. And who among us does not know how sometimes the head buzzes after a busy day, who is not familiar with unforeseen situations, because of which you have to miss class? Of course, you should not blame yourself for any ailment: you can always work out a little less or set yourself a more modest goal. “It’s better to create a realistic training program for yourself, which will allow you not to overdo it with the load,” advises Olga Dolgopolova. There is another way to overcome momentary indecision: imagine yourself already in place, in motion, with warm muscles, remember the feeling of physical well-being that we experienced in previous classes … Sports can turn into the same daily need for us as a morning shower or brushing our teeth if we allow ourselves to enjoy it!

* Mr Roy. “Invisible Gymnastics. Be good in your body in 90 exercises. Amphora, 1999.