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To let something new into your life, you have to let go of something old. Good things only come when there is room for them.
Rejection of the most «comfortable» product
My love for sneakers was formed solely due to the difficult years of being a student — there was a catastrophic lack of time and money, and on three chocolates grabbed somewhere between the audience and the hospital (I studied at the medical school), it was possible to hold out tolerably all day.
I never had problems with being overweight, I didn’t feel any harm from bars, and therefore, even many years after my studies, my relationship with sneakers was maintained at almost the same level as in the “hungry” times — there was not a day that I didn’t eat chocolate and tea.
My yoga teacher drew attention to such a strange habit. While teaching us to love the most uncomfortable asanas, Swami advised me to give up the most “comfortable” product as well. «No problem — no more apples!» I immediately agreed. «Apples?! Swami was surprised. “What about candy bars?!”
Like any addict, the first thing I did was deny everything. I don’t eat so much of them, and in general — there are nuts, and this is very useful. The teacher emphasized that any habit is an addiction, and addictions deprive us of freedom.
I didn’t want to be not free, and not fully understanding what they wanted from me, I promised not to eat Snickers for six months
You can fully understand addiction only by starting to fight it, plus — I really believe that in our oversaturated world, restrictions are beneficial. At first I tried to cheat — I bought similar bars in stores (we only agreed on Snickers!), But soon I realized how funny and even stupid it looks.
On the way between work, I began to eat a small box of nuts, which I took from home in the morning, and drank tea with dates. Gradually, this was no longer necessary. Six months later, I bought the treasured chocolate bar, cut off a small piece, ate it and forgot about it. And I do fine without harmful bars to this day. At the same time, it is important that I don’t buy them because I don’t want to, and not because I “can’t”.
Feeling of freedom
The most useful thing in this story for me was the experience itself — having got rid of even a minor addiction, I felt freer.
There was a case when I left for two weeks to my aunt in the village and did not know if my chocolates would be there — the travel bag was full of bars, which, of course, melted in the hot train compartment and destroyed half of my things. All vacation I was angry and annoyed over trifles, of course, in no way connecting it with chocolates.
Remembering this incident, I realized that exactly the same behavior is observed in my husband when we go to travel and it turns out that the Internet is not available everywhere or some social networks in this country are blocked. We discussed this for a long time, found other evidence of our addictions and came to the conclusion that giving up some things for a while can make us better.
One year experiment
We decided to conduct such a year-long experiment — everyone had to give up one bad habit, one social network, one favorite product and one thing / object. My choice fell on sleep until dinner, a popular social network, ice cream and TV.
Dream
There is a common misconception that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Practice shows that this is not so. For example, in childhood, many of us went to kindergarten, then 11 years to school, and then some years to university (in my case, seven). All this time we woke up and ran to classes by 8-9 in the morning, but as soon as the opportunity arose, I chose a job with a free schedule and began to sleep until 12 noon.
No habit, despite the regular morning rises with sunrise for almost my entire life, I have not developed. However, sleeping until noon and then not having time to do anything is also not pleasant enough. I promised myself to get up no later than 9 in the morning, but since I go to bed around four, I allowed myself to sleep for 40 minutes at lunch.
TV
I simply decided not to pay for the TV, and a month later it was turned off for us. It stopped showing, and we safely forgot about it (and so it hung with us for several years, performing the function of a wall painting — “Black Rectangle from Asia”).
Ice cream
We started the experiment on New Year’s Eve, so the first few months without ice cream were quite tolerable, but in the summer the temptation was great. When I really, really wanted a popsicle, I went into the store and read the composition on the label — after five minutes the desire passed, because using all this chemical composition is more expensive for myself. By August, I had mastered the preparation of homemade yogurt ice cream — healthy, tasty and «you can’t eat much.» Can this be considered a failure? I think not, because after us, the whole family and all friends switched exclusively to homemade «healthy» ice cream.
Social network
“VKontakte” was a storehouse of necessary information, because I read there only publics related to work, as it seemed to me then. Spending at least 5 hours a day at the computer, more than half of my time I studied everything that the resource admins offered me. It was really difficult to refuse, and I consoled myself only with the fact that it was only for a year. Needless to say, after a short time, I didn’t even remember him?
Results of the experiment
After 12 months, summing up our experiment, my husband and I decided to continue. December 31 will be the fifth time we tell each other what we are going to give up in the new year. What will make us freer, and therefore happier.
Over the past years, in addition to the above, my life has been left by: a mobile phone (returned after the end of the experiment), an elastic band for hair (the ability not to do styling), a microwave oven, fish cookies, sugar, coffee (from January 1 we will be together again, but I I’m sure that I’ll go from eight cups to one a day or even less often — a year without my favorite drink affected), Pinterest, Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia) and Twitter (I couldn’t choose what to give up for so long that I decided that I can live without both social networks — perhaps Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia) will return, but I still doubt it).
I wrote about my decision on the Facebook page, my subscribers became interested and also created their own “limiting” lists
Yesterday I asked the participants in the experiment if they managed to hold out and if it was useful. Not everyone survived (but the lists of the girls were also unequal — someone refused serious things, someone “just try” from some little things, but, remembering my first experience with chocolate, I understand that there are no little things) . All the girls told me that the practice was incredibly useful and allowed me to feel how much we are mired in consumerism and dependent on things that cannot be depended on.
This year, I will make a promise to myself to give up flour (not sharing the theory about gluten in general, I realize that baking is not good for my body), from buying new clothes (despite the fact that we recently moved with a minimum set of necessary things, I I am sure that I need to work with my permanent desire to buy “nice rags”), from the habit of using the elevator anywhere (hello, beautiful buttocks and calves!) and, most difficult, from Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia).
I get all the news of my friends, class schedules and recommendations for interesting events from there and so far I have absolutely no idea whether I can live a year without it or not.
But the very fact of the presence of fear is already an alarming bell that it is necessary to abandon this particular social network.
An important point: if the experiment is violated, do not scold yourself and reproach. You just need to accept it: broke — it’s okay, I will continue to move on. The main thing is that we are already trying to fight, to be free, we strive for health, beauty and harmony.
Everyone may have their own set of restrictions, but I can guarantee that such a practice will improve the quality of life and, possibly, the lives of others. If we give up something, something new will definitely appear in our life. Quit TV? You will probably read more. Don’t drink coffee? Surely master the tea ceremony or learn how to make the most delicious smoothies in the world. Don’t know what’s going on with foreign friends? A Skype call will bring you much more joy from communication than dry comments on social networks.
Do not be afraid to experiment, come up with something new, change. And everything will definitely work out! Happy New Year!