Do not hurry! We should be patient in order to hear and feel ourselves, to let desires take shape and mature, because this is a decisive stage before action. And feel how beneficial this pause is.
“Don’t ask for directions, otherwise you won’t be able to get lost…” Such advice from the ancient Chinese may seem strange, because our time is obsessed with efficiency, immediate results and profit, which we chase in a hurry, scattering and losing ourselves. But in fact, it is more important for us to know and realize ourselves than just to have a job or shelter, because relationships with ourselves determine our whole life. And when it comes to life, time becomes a necessary material for arranging the inner space of a person and, above all, his foundation.
Giving yourself time doesn’t mean being idle. At such moments, we go in search of ourselves, evaluate personal resources, determine our capabilities and our weaknesses, develop our strengths. We comprehend and deepen our knowledge. The time we spend in reflection, away from the hustle and bustle, allows us to identify imposed ideas and our own illusions. This is the way of learning freedom.
To become oneself means, first of all, not to try to repeat someone else’s experience, not to move along a knurled track, but to pave one’s own path. The main question that sets the direction of our lives is: what do I want more than anything in the world? It obscures our habitual concerns about how to meet the requirements of other people, how to meet their expectations. The answer to this question opens up limitless horizons. According to spiritual teachers of various traditions, only thirst brings us closer to the source.
Our consultants
Jacqueline Kelen is a French writer and specialist in mythology. Her most recent book is Inventaire vagabond du bonheur (Albin Michel, 2008).
Sit in silence, close your eyes, listen to yourself … This is the best way to know your inner world, become attentive, free, hear your inner, inherent music, recognize signs, interpret dreams and dreams, which are much more important for the soul than any road maps and navigation systems.
The leisurely path often seems too risky, but by choosing it, we are open to change, and it is on this path that the most incredible encounters occur. Let us recall the legend of Tristan and Isolde*. King Mark stubbornly refused to marry, despite the insistence of the barons, who were looking for better matches for him. And then one day a swallow flew into the open window of his chambers and dropped a long golden hair … The king swore that only the woman from whose head this hair fell would become his chosen one – and found his Isolde.
Comment by Svetlana Krivtsova
James Bugenthal, an eminent American psychotherapist, noticed that the voice of his own “I” became for him more or less distinguishable from other voices only after 40 years. It seemed like a radio station being jammed, while the voices of mother and father, priest and wife were loud and clear. And other people’s voices said: “You should not”, “You have no right …” This image is very realistic.
It is difficult to live without haste, first of all, because we must resist the feverish rhythm that carries us away, and show remarkable patience. And these days, patience is less and less perceived as a virtue, rather, it is taken for self-restraint. However, it is patience that makes our desires more purposeful. Only what is truly valuable deserves patient waiting.
Letting time do its thing is a sign of wisdom. This is confirmed by the legends of various traditions. Lao Tzu states: “A real square has no corners. The best jug is molded for a lifetime. High music is beyond hearing…”** In the New Testament we read: “Which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the costs, whether he has what it takes to complete it, so that when he lays the foundation and is unable to complete , all the seers did not laugh at him, saying: this man began to build and could not finish? The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates, sentenced to death, called his friends to his place and peacefully talked with them, while the hemlock poison slowly killed his body, without affecting the immortal soul – is this not an example of majestic slowness? You can remember a more cheerful parable. A Buddhist monk, after a walk in the mountains, answered the questions of his inquisitive student, where he was and what roads he walked on: “I followed the smell of roadside flowers, I followed the path of sprouting shoots …”
Life is wide, limitless! We forget about it and we ourselves narrow it down with our plans and calculations, making it boring and monotonous. But to find yourself, it is important to allow yourself to breathe in the scent of flowers and wander at the behest of the wind.
* R. Johnson “We”. Cogito Center, 2005.
** Lao Tzu “Tao Te Ching”. Vagrius, 2006.
*** OK. 14:25-33.