Give up the excess and become happier: what should we all get rid of?

1. Pursuit of excellence

For the perfect partner. Body. Work. Home. We often chase after an unattainable ideal, not understanding the main thing: no one and nothing is perfect. Yes, trying and giving everything 100% is not bad, the main thing is not to set the bar too high, otherwise the pain of disappointment cannot be avoided.

Instead, we should ask ourselves why we need to prove something to anyone and try to be better than others. Happiness is in harmony and balance, not in endless struggle.

2. Communication that squeezes all the juice out of you

Perhaps you have friends or acquaintances, after communicating with whom you feel worse than before. Maybe meeting them devastates you or makes you doubt yourself, but you don’t stop seeing them, because sometimes you can really have fun together.

However, if the “bad” begins to outweigh the “good”, it’s worth considering. Few things affect our sense of self and level of happiness more than connections with others, so it pays to be extra careful in shaping your social circle.

3. Attempts to convince those who are not ready to listen

It seems to us that if we calmly and confidently explain something to the opponent over and over again, sooner or later he will hear us and accept our point of view. Alas, it is not. There are people who, in principle, are not ready to change and look at things more broadly, and this should simply be taken for granted.

4. Strive to win the attention of those who are not interested in you.

Any relationship, whether friendly or romantic, requires mutual interest. As a rule, it is either there or it is not, and attempts to “win” the other do not lead to anything good.

5. The desire to prove to others that you are worth something.

We all seek approval to some extent and rejoice when we are appreciated and praised, but it is definitely not worth spending too much effort on this. Do what you like, try to achieve goals that you sincerely strive for, and if someone is delighted with your achievements – well, let it be a nice bonus.

6. The role of the victim

All of us from birth or by chance find ourselves in different conditions: some of us are more lucky than others. But is it worth wasting time and energy to envy others and lament over your own unenviable fate?

Changing your life while in the position of a victim is very difficult, so it’s time to take back control. Change what you can influence – this will give you the feeling that you are in charge in your life.

7. Looking out for others

The French writer Charles de Montesquieu wrote: “If we simply wanted to be happy, it would be easy to achieve; but we want to be happier than other people, and this is almost impossible, because it always seems to us that those around us are happier than us. This trap has been around for centuries, but today, in the era of social networks, it has become even easier to fall into it.

This has been said more than once, but we will repeat it again: although we watch the lives of others on social networks all day long, in fact, we have no idea what lies behind this colorful “facade”. Any comparison is biased, and if so, is it worth comparing?

8. Chasing fast money

We all sometimes urgently need money, and there is nothing to worry about. Problems begin when getting rich quick becomes our main goal. It is much more important to explore our field, study, communicate with experts, work hard and, of course, do what we really like. Most likely, sooner or later, all these efforts will bear fruit.

9. Trying to change others

Seriously – just stop it! No matter how much we want to “remake” a partner, children, parents, friends or other relatives, our desires and efforts alone are not enough – a person changes when he wants to. Our task is to learn to accept it as it is. Or, if communication becomes unbearable, part, if possible.

10. Adjusting to others

Some of us strive to be “comfortable” so as not to create unnecessary problems, offend others, and ultimately not be rejected. This is understandable, and yet the suppression of one’s own desires and emotions and the rejection of one’s true nature usually does not end in anything good.

It’s not about arguing with others over every little thing, but about being yourself and not letting others lead you astray.

11. Wearing masks (of course, not medical)

Many of us have been taught since childhood that “negative” emotions need to be hidden. What you need to be strong, not hang your problems on others. Smile, even if it hurts a lot. And that’s why we wear masks so that the world doesn’t see what’s really going on inside of us.

Why is it bad? The fact that, firstly, it takes a lot of resources to create and maintain this “armor”, and secondly, people around us lose the chance to find out who we really are, to accept and love us.

12. Dreams of revenge

All of us have been treated badly at least once, so badly that a desire for revenge could have settled in us. The sooner we get rid of him, the better.

Yes, “forgetting everything and moving on” is not easy, but otherwise we will carry poison in ourselves, which will poison us ourselves. This is not about forgiveness, but about the opportunity to finally turn this page.

13. Self-harm

The one person you definitely need to forgive is yourself, especially if you tend to criticize yourself for the slightest mistake. Kindling the inner fire of guilt and shame will lead nowhere: if you made a mistake, admit it, deal with the consequences and try not to repeat such mistakes again.

14. The expectation that one day we will finally be ready.

Many of us dream big and believe that we will be ready to start fulfilling our plans as soon as …

…will lose N kilograms. Earn your first million. They change jobs. They will move to another country.

But life is what happens here and now. It passes while we are making plans, but we never begin to implement them. Time flies fast, so don’t waste a minute. Try to be a little happier today.