Talking to a person can be a joy—a joy for that person. And in order for it to become a joy for you, this exercise!
The exercise is simple — set yourself the task of starting and maintaining a conversation with a person in such a way that it remains with a person as one of the brightest memories of the day.
What to talk about? About what is interesting to the interlocutor and will be pleasant to him. Maybe these are his hobbies, his successes, deeds (but not problems), the personal qualities of the interlocutor — but rather his advantages, not shortcomings.
The conversation is about the other person, not about you. Although, if the interlocutor is interested in learning something about you, share something of your own, but only to the extent that the interlocutor needs it, and not you.
The conversation can be about the weather and flowers, but it should not be empty chatter about anything: we do not accustom either ourselves or the interlocutor to empty chatter. The conversation should be at least small, but meaningful, it should give the interlocutor some useful content, in addition to a good mood.
Probably, lively and cheerful intonations will help you, and a look at the interlocutor with interest and admiration. During a conversation, try to look at yourself as if from the outside: every minute, every moment will you look like a person who is disposed to the interlocutor, a person who is interested?
Who to talk to? It may be easier at first to talk to relatives, friends and colleagues this way. It is no less interesting to give it to strangers whom you may never see again: sellers, cashiers, security guards, controllers, conductors, fellow travelers. They are happy, you are learning and training. First, start a conversation when you yourself are in a great mood, then — in any mood. And even later, take the “Sunshine” exercise so that your mood is always excellent.
And if you are serious people, fix the ORM — the volume of the planned result. It could be like this for example:
- The number of such conversations per day. Don’t be lazy, your goal is 21 conversations per week.
- For each conversation, record what the topic was and what intonation was. Were they appropriate, or could they have been much better? In a week, you should have a list of 7 successful topics and three intonations that promote the interlocutor.
- Was there positive feedback from the person during or after the conversation? How quickly did the person’s face light up with a smile? How quickly and how vividly did he join the conversation? Did you share yours? Make sure that in 7 cases out of 10 these results appear already in the first minute of the conversation.
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Good luck to you!