Getting to know your partner’s parents is one of the turning points in a couple’s life. For a woman, this is a sign that a man has serious intentions, for a man — an awareness of responsibility for a woman not only to her, but also to her family. But what if he refuses to take this step? And is it really necessary?
Anna and Sergey have been together for three years. They live in an apartment that the girl’s parents bought. Mother and father often visit Anya, and Sergei has an excellent relationship with them, but he is in no hurry to introduce the girl to his family. “Because of this, I am very worried,” Anya admits. — I have long dreamed of a full-fledged family, a wedding, children. And Seryozha seemed to be hanging at the stage of courtship. Recently, I saw his mother at the mall — I recognized her from photographs, but she walked by, as if she did not know who I was.
The girl’s parents, as a rule, initiate acquaintance with her young man themselves. This is primarily due to the concern for its safety. The boy’s parents tend to care less about where he stays and with whom he spends time.
If your situation is similar to the one described above, you should not panic and put pressure on your partner — he may have serious reasons to delay this important step. It may not be that he is not serious about you.
Parents may believe that it is too early for their son to marry or that the daughter of their academic friends should become his chosen one.
Psychologist Anna Konstantinova talks about three reasons why a man may not be in a hurry to introduce a girl to his family:
1. A man is afraid to show the conditions in which he grew up (unfavorable area, low material or social status of the family). Playing a certain role in a relationship, he may be afraid that a woman will be disappointed in him, that he will lose his authority, and prefers to hide this side of the past.
2. He is ashamed of his parents, their behavior, bad habits, and protects the girl from negative emotions.
3. Parents may believe that it is too early for their son to marry, or that the daughter of their academic friends should become his chosen one. The man is afraid: the girl will decide that their relationship has no future.
Should you insist that your partner introduce you to the family? Anna Konstantinova believes that questions, threats and persuasion can only complicate the situation and it is more correct not to argue with his decision.
“You need to make it clear that you are understanding about his past, that no matter how his parents behave, this will not affect your feelings for him and that it is simply important for you to feel the seriousness of his intentions. And, of course, you should not look for a meeting with his parents yourself, their reaction can be unpredictable.
A man should understand that we bring a lot to the union from the parental family, and if there is no communication with relatives, there may be a misunderstanding where the partner has certain habits, reactions, and beliefs.
If you do not maintain relations with his parents, much is lost in terms of transferring experience, knowledge, and traditions. Moreover, if you gently and unobtrusively push the man to this step, then in the end the couple will only win.