Getting out of your comfort zone: a practical guide for those who are afraid

Nobody likes change, but we can grow, develop and expand our horizons only by changing the way we live. Coach Andy Molinski gives three tips on how to recognize fear and learn to get out of your comfort zone.

There is a joke: smart people who advise you to get out of your comfort zone, first explain how to get into it. Habitual lifestyle is first of all routine, lack of change. It seems that it is worth abandoning the old way of life, and the world will collapse.

For many long years they go with the flow: they continue to live with their tyrant husband, they are afraid of public speaking, they don’t argue with their superiors, they don’t travel and they don’t dream. But is such a life a joy?

1. Determine if you are fooling yourself

Let’s say you don’t like speaking in front of an audience. Instead of overcoming fear and appreciating the benefits of meeting new people, communicating with like-minded people and arguing with opponents, you begin to look for excuses for your phobias.

You say: “Participation in this event is not so important”, “It is possible to do work without participating in public events” or “Networking is not for me, I’m an introvert.” There is some truth in these statements, but the main thing – in your fear – you do not want to admit to yourself.

To determine if you are fooling yourself, ask the question: “Would I like to do what I refuse, provided that the situation is completely comfortable and stress-free? Would it be nice or useful for a career? If yes, then you are afraid. Once you realize this, you can move on.

Now you need to identify one or more reasons why you need to do what you are afraid of. Think about how this business will contribute to the realization of your goals, career and personal growth. The benefit of performing an uncomfortable action is a great motivator.

2. Create a plan

Realizing the fears, you can take action, but it is better to show wisdom and patience. You run the risk of not getting the desired result if you do not think over a change strategy.

Determine what is the most difficult in your situation. Then become aware of the steps that will lead to the goal. You can go to it in different ways. So, for business development it is worth making contacts with the right people. You are probably an introvert, and the mere thought of a crowded event makes you feel bad.

However, apart from participation in exhibitions and conferences, there are other ways to meet and communicate with potential partners. For example, on the phone or over a cup of coffee in a quiet cafe. Instead of being afraid, you take control of the situation and adapt it to your own characteristics and preferences.

3. Find a mentor

Even with a plan in place, help, inspiration, approval, and feedback may be needed. Contact a coach, ask a friend or colleague for advice. A mentor will help you determine the difference between your behavior in a familiar situation and how you act outside your comfort zone.

He will discuss with you options for the development of events and tell you what to do if the situation is out of control, pay attention to weaknesses, help you adapt behavior to a particular situation and simulate the upcoming conversation.

Change is not easy for anyone. Transformation takes time, effort and determination. But if you make a change plan and have the courage to complete all the points, you will definitely get the long-awaited results.

About the Developer

Andy Molinski — coach, professor at Brandeis University (USA), author of the book “Global Manipulation”.

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