Get rid of trauma: how, why and what will happen after?

Every day we experience many events. Some of them are significant, others are passing. Some of them are pleasant: we rejoice, making sure that we are on the right path. But it is the incidents that cause a negative reaction that really affect us. Such events can cause complexes or psychological trauma.

Sometimes experiences are so strong that a person cannot come to terms with what happened and move on. Such an experience is «encapsulated» and goes into the unconscious part of the psyche. Memory rejects him, but he remains in the form of a painful imprint. In the future, we will try to do everything we can to avoid a recurrence of such situations.

Trauma turns life into existence

It turns out a confusing situation: the negative experience and its pain are denied by the conscious part of the psyche, but the subconscious part keeps it and tries to avoid everything in life that even slightly reminds of the traumatic story.

Moreover, the earlier the injury occurred, the stronger the imprint. Childhood traumas are experienced especially strongly, although we seem to not remember them and disguise them with stories of a happy childhood. The causes of trauma are relationships with parents, hospitalizations, dog attacks, relationships with peers.

Of course, psychological trauma can be obtained not only in childhood. Common examples of trauma at a conscious age are assault, violence, separation, divorce. It is very important that the fear of recurrence of the trauma begins to control the choice and life of a person. His behavior narrows down to sustainable scenarios, the quality of life decreases, and inner peace is lost.

But the worst thing is that the injured person is ready for significant sacrifices. He lives on half of his strength and resources, just not to touch the past painful experience. At the same time, it seems to him that the events that occurred earlier have no influence on him and do not bother him.

A traumatized person does not choose new opportunities, does not take risks, does not listen to his feelings. For a woman after divorce or violence, it may be the fear of starting a family. For a child once abandoned, it is an obsession to be always in a relationship, and their quality does not matter — just so as not to be left alone. And the one who was overprotected in childhood may simply not trust people, fearing that they will manipulate him. This is expressed in panic attacks or the desire to constantly control a partner.

How can you tell if you’ve had an injury?

Emotional signs:

• dependence on a partner;
• difficulty in managing emotions and feelings (irritability, outbursts of anger, guilt, shame, anxiety, fears and feelings of depression);
• isolation, difficulties in contacts with other people;
• lack of trust in the world;
• difficulty learning and concentrating;
• you do not feel like a whole person, you are lost;
• relationship building problems.

Physical signs:

• fatigue, lethargy;
• muscle hypertonicity, especially in the calves and back;
• headache;
• inability to relax and rest;
• sleep disturbance;
• psychosomatic diseases (according to various estimates of psychologists, from 80 to 100% of psychosomatic diseases develop due to trauma).

When to start working on trauma?

Many people are afraid to work with trauma, thinking that it can lead to withdrawal into negative emotions. «I’m not ready now, sometime later.» It is important to understand that it is the trauma that dictates the usual strategy for us: to put it off until later, to pretend that this is not there and everything is not so bad.

Under the influence of trauma, our potential is curtailed. Our faith in our own strength is undermined. We become hostages of the past. Fear or unwillingness to contact a painful memory not only strengthens its power over us, but also creates internal tension, leading to anxiety and depressive states. Until we have worked through the trauma, we do not live.

First step: disidentification

It is very important not to try to «freeze» or switch, driving the injury even deeper. The following steps will help:

• It is necessary to be “in contact” with the experience, to burn it out. Cry, speak out, allow yourself to receive support from loved ones.
• Help others. Often such help allows you to mobilize, find strength for your own recovery.
• Recognize and name your emotions. This allows you to disidentify with the experience, to look at it from the outside. When we remain at one with the problem, we feel helpless.
• Put your pain and feelings on paper. It is advisable to perform this exercise for at least 30 minutes. Prescribing sensations, we begin to work with them, becoming a subject, not an object.
• The same effect is given by drawing your feelings. Take paper and draw what you feel, naming this feeling. The artistic component is not important here. It can be just colors, shapes — whatever you want. The main thing is not to limit yourself.

Second step: contacting a specialist

Even the best psychotherapists, when injured, turn to colleagues without trying to get out of the hole on their own. This is due to the fact that the pain becomes native, and it is too difficult to completely separate it from yourself. Therefore, it is advisable to leave the second step to a specialist.

One of the effective methods of dealing with trauma is related to body therapy and is based on deep immersion in oneself. You lie on the couch, experiencing vibrations similar to the swaying of babies.

It has been scientifically proven that a special oscillation frequency balances the impulses of the right and left hemispheres of the brain and, as a result, there is a connection with intuition and the unconscious. In the process, you relax, immerse yourself in your own body, having a bodily experience and gaining a resource.

After the first session, you gain the ability to see the incident in a new light, having a mature understanding of what really happened. And, most importantly, why did it happen. The result of the work is felt immediately: the “core” of the trauma disappears, as well as its emotionally negative color.

What will happen after?

After a long time spent side by side with endless experiences, we get used to them. And get used to the feeling of guilt. We justify our impotence. And when all this monstrous burden leaves, there is a feeling of freedom. This is a lightness that can only be felt by someone who has been carrying immeasurable burdens for years, and then threw them off.

There are many different paths to releasing the burden of trauma. But the only way that works is to start working on yourself. Separate from the injury, see a specialist. To spread my wings and start living again.