Get rid of stereotypes to become yourself

There are a lot of stereotypes around about how life should be. A huge number of trainings where they say that you need to become a millionaire or get married successfully. There is a certain pattern: it is cultivated in society, making it popular and, at first glance, impeccable. But each person has his own taste of happiness: one needs a family and fulfillment in children, while the other needs career achievements. How to abstract and understand what you want?

The environment helps: look for like-minded people and examples of people who live the way you like. If it responds inside, then this is it. You can find inspiration on the Internet: there are many bloggers of different ages around the world. Note for yourself: others could, and I will come to this.

But sometimes the perfect picture on social media takes you in a completely different direction. How to understand that what you dream about is a real desire, and not an imposed stereotype?

I recommend starting small. Only in this way will it be possible to come to an understanding of more global goals in life. During the day, start listening to yourself: do I want to date this person? What would I eat now? We do not pay enough attention to these things and live by habit. It turns out that we don’t really know ourselves: the needs of the body, preferences and desires in this or that issue. How then to talk about big plans? Gradually, recognizing and understanding yourself, you can define global dreams and goals. Constantly try something new and draw conclusions.

People are afraid to miss something important, and when you are told and advised from all sides, this causes stress and depression. Self-love and self-esteem play an important role, but you must not forget to dream. Often we desire something, not based on what we really want, but based on a feeling of fear. How to define it?

For example, if we think about marriage and feel pain inside, then this is not our real choice. Just at this moment we run away from some kind of fear. We may have a need not for a family as such, but for love.

Influenced

Often the problem of stereotypes is faced by those who did not have enough attention in childhood. Perhaps the parents divorced or were only engaged in work.

We are all disliked to some degree. The consequences of the war left a certain imprint on the course of history and on people, in particular, on women. They had to survive. Many aspects influenced, one of them is that there was no sex in the Soviet Union. A person has ceased to feel his body, and today we see a problem with pleasure, getting pleasure. More often, on the contrary, we try to scold ourselves. In this regard, it is very difficult for a child to give love when you yourself are clamped and afraid to make an extra move.

But how do you live the way you want, if even close relatives are full of prejudices? If we talk about teenagers, for example, they are in any case dependent on their parents, they do not have such a great personal experience. They need to find support. Some teachers in the school can give it, show understanding, not condemnation.

If we talk about adults, then everything depends on how much they independently make decisions. Those who live with their parents until the age of thirty are more susceptible to stereotyped thinking and influence. There is a certain question: how harmoniously does a person develop? There are very good family relationships, where people do not put pressure on each other, accept and love. And they can live under the same roof. But this case is one in a million.

Free from prejudice

Now society is developing so rapidly that a person can live several lives: change professions, constantly learn something, travel.

I see examples of happy people who stay open to the world and allow themselves to do whatever they want. — If they have a love for some person, then they are not afraid to declare it. Of course, everyone experiences fear when stepping into the unknown. But the one who overcomes it really becomes happy. I was inspired by a story many years ago: a woman was an accountant all her life, and after 50 she studied to be an architect.

It is much easier for a light and positive person to build a life based only on their preferences. If you do not have such qualities, then it is fixable. The most basic thing in any matter is to sincerely want to change the situation. The power of desire will certainly work. Our psyche will make sure that we strive for this. It is enough to clearly express your intention.

Consequences of stereotypes

Many people drive themselves into depression because they are afraid to go through an undesirable scenario. Sometimes there is such a period, and you just need to survive it, hide and be alone. Another conversation when it dragged on. In this case, it is easier to ask for help. If a state of malaise begins, there is not enough energy — this is already psychosomatics. Unlived states that hold and do not let go, pinch a person and become a significant reason to pull yourself together and try to change something.

Post-vacation trap

We all know people who, having returned from a vacation from another country, with burning eyes, say: “It’s so cool there, I want to move, this is what I need.” For some, this is an important resource, but for others, it is a trap. When a person experiences a joyful moment in life, he falls into the illusion that everything is within his reach. And then he gets frustrated and asks himself: what is wrong with me? Here you need to listen to yourself and distinguish momentary delight from true desire.

Relationships with loved ones or the real definition of selfishness

If you love yourself, then you know how to build personal boundaries. Roughly speaking, relatives get used to it: you can’t climb here, we are also silent about this. We cannot change other people, but we can change our attitude towards their prejudices and moralizing.

Building boundaries, in my opinion, is also not entirely harmonious. If a person has some aspect that he internally does not accept, he constantly has to defend himself. For example, I learned to do it through aggression. This is not bad, but you need to ask yourself: is it comfortable to live like this? Understand what specifically catches, why other people can potentially influence.

By the way, remember how we were taught in childhood that being an egoist is bad? If now one of the relatives is trying to influence you: does not accept, condemns, then in fact, in such a distorted way, he just wants to receive love.

We can give when we have something to share. If a person tries to think only about others, this is the highest degree of egoism, but in relation to himself. This is how psychosomatics begins in the long run, and no one will be happy from this. You need to learn to notice such moments, allow yourself to make a choice in favor of yourself.