First of all, it is necessary to pay attention to the environment that surrounds the child at home, at school, in kindergarten. Parents should think about changing their own behavior and character. It is necessary to deeply, soulfully understand the misfortune that befell the little man. And only then it is really possible to choose the right tone, not to break into a cry or fall into unrestrained lisping. Of course, we will name the rules of behavior with a child here, but it is practically useless to follow them formally, without inner conviction and attitude. And therefore, dear mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, teachers, start with yourself. Develop in yourself wisdom, kindness, patience, reasonable severity.
What should be done specifically? First of all, remember that children with ADHD have a very high threshold of sensitivity to negative stimuli, and therefore the words “no”, “don’t”, “don’t touch”, “prohibit” are, in fact, an empty phrase for them. They are not susceptible to reprimands and punishment, but they respond very well to praise and approval. Physical punishment should be avoided altogether.
We recommend building relationships with the child on the basis of consent and mutual understanding from the very beginning. Of course, children should not be allowed to do whatever they want. Try to explain why it is harmful or dangerous. It doesn’t work — try to distract, switch your attention to another object. You need to speak calmly, without unnecessary emotions, best of all, using a joke, humor, some funny comparisons. In general, try to control your speech. Shouts, anger, indignation are difficult to control. Even expressing dissatisfaction, do not manipulate the feelings of the child and do not humiliate him. Try to restrain violent manifestations as much as possible, especially if you are upset or dissatisfied with the child’s behavior. Emotionally support children in all attempts at constructive, positive behavior, no matter how small.
Physical contact with the child is also very important. Hug him in a difficult situation, hug him, calm him down — in dynamics this gives a pronounced positive effect, but constant shouting and restrictions, on the contrary, widen the gap between parents and their children.
It is also necessary to monitor the general psychological microclimate in the family. Try to protect the child from possible conflicts between adults: even if some kind of quarrel is brewing, the child should not see it, much less be a participant. Parents should spend as much time as possible with the baby, play with him, travel all together out of town, come up with common entertainment. Of course, a lot of imagination and patience will be required, but the benefits will be great, and not only for the child, but also for you, since the difficult world of a small person, his interests will become closer and clearer.
If possible, try to allocate for the child a room or part of it for classes, games, solitude, that is, his own “territory”. In the design, it is desirable to avoid bright colors, complex compositions. There should be no distracting objects on the table and in the immediate environment of the child. A hyperactive child himself is not able to make sure that nothing outside distracts him.
The organization of all life should have a calming effect on the child. To do this, together with him, draw up a daily routine, following which show both flexibility and perseverance. Every day, the time of eating, sleeping, doing homework, playing games should correspond to this routine. Define the scope of duties for the child, and keep their performance under constant supervision and control, but not too hard. Frequently celebrate and praise his efforts, even if the results are far from perfect.
If you give your child some new task, it would be good to show how to do it, or to reinforce the story with a picture. Visual stimuli are very important here. You should also not overload the attention of the baby, that is, for a certain period of time, entrust only one thing so that he can complete it. For example: «From 8.30 to 9.00, Igor, you must make your bed.» Some psychologists advise using an alarm clock or a kitchen timer for this purpose. First, discuss the task, and then connect the equipment. This, experts believe, will help reduce aggression.
For any type of activity that requires concentration of attention from a child (reading, playing with blocks, coloring, cleaning the house, etc.), encouragement must necessarily follow: a small gift, a kind word … In general, you should not skimp on praise. Which, however, is suitable for any child. Expect only good things from your children, rejoice in their successes. An example of encouragement is the following: let your child watch TV for half an hour longer than the allotted time (just don’t get carried away, this can only be a one-time indulgence), treat him with a special dessert, give him the opportunity to participate in games with adults (lotto, chess), let him go once again for a walk or buy the thing that he has long dreamed of.
If the child behaves approximately during the week, at the end of the week he should receive an additional reward. It can be some kind of trip out of town with you, an excursion to the zoo, to the theater, etc. With completely unsatisfactory behavior, you should, of course, be punished — not much, but so that you remember, and most importantly right away. It can be just verbal disapproval, temporary isolation from other children, deprivation of «privileges».
A hyperactive child does not tolerate large crowds. Therefore, it is useful for him to play with one partner, not to visit often, as well as to large shops, markets, cafes, etc. All this extremely excites the fragile nervous system.
But long walks in the fresh air, exercise, running are very useful. They allow you to release excess energy. But again, in moderation so that the child does not get tired. In general, it is necessary to monitor and protect children with ADHD from overwork, as overwork leads to a decrease in self-control and an increase in hyperactivity. It is not easy, but it is also very important to teach the child to “cool down” and calmly look at what is happening around. To do this, you can use the following methods. When once again your hasty offspring will run past, try to stop him. Gently, without raising your voice, invite him to rest. Embrace your shoulders, gently stroke your head, pay attention to the surrounding children and toys, ask them to tell you what dad, grandmother is doing, where his favorite bear lies or what is on the table. Then you can hide some toy and after a while ask what is gone and what is left.
Specialists have also developed a system of a kind of «ambulance» when working with a hyperactive child. Here are its main postulates.
- Distract the child from whims.
- Maintain a clear daily routine at home.
- Offer a choice (another activity that is currently possible).
- Ask an unexpected question.
- React in a way that is unexpected for the child (joking, repeating the actions of the child).
- Do not prohibit the child’s action in a categorical manner.
- Do not order, but ask (but do not fawn).
- Listen to what the child wants to say (otherwise he will not hear you).
- Automatically, with the same words, repeat your request many times (in a neutral tone).
- Take a picture of the child or bring him to the mirror at the moment when he is naughty.
- Leave alone in the room (if it is safe for his health).
- Do not insist that the child apologize at all costs.
- Do not read notations (the child still does not hear them).
It’s good if parents record in a special diary all changes in the child’s behavior, how he copes with tasks, how he reacts to rewards and punishments, what he likes to do, how he studies, etc.
Since children with ADHD experience the greatest difficulties at school, in addition to homework, a school program of psychological correction has been developed. It helps the child to join the team, study more successfully, and also enables teachers to normalize relations with the “difficult” student.
First of all, the teacher must have all the information about the nature and causes of ADHD, understand how children behave with such a disease, know that they are often distracted, do not lend themselves well to general organization, etc., and therefore require a special, individual approach. Such a child should be constantly under the control of the teacher, that is, sit in the center of the class, opposite the blackboard. And in case of any difficulties, be able to immediately seek help from the teacher.
Classes for him should be built according to a clearly planned schedule. At the same time, a hyperactive student is recommended to use a diary or calendar. Assignments given in class should be written on the board by the teacher. For a certain period of time, only one task is given, and if a large task is to be completed, then it is divided into parts, and the teacher periodically monitors the progress of work on each part and makes adjustments.
A hyperactive child physically cannot listen carefully to a teacher or teacher for a long time, sit quietly and restrain his impulses. At first, it is desirable to ensure that only one function is trained. For example, if you want him to be attentive while doing a task, try not to notice that he fidgets and jumps up. Having received a remark, the child will behave “good” for some time, but will no longer be able to concentrate on the task. At another time, in a suitable situation, you can train the skill of perseverance and reward the child only for calm behavior, without requiring active attention from him at that moment.
If a child has a high need for physical activity, it makes no sense to suppress it. It is better to give the opportunity to splash out energy, allow you to run, play in the yard or gym. Or another: in the learning process, especially at first, it is very difficult for a hyperactive child to simultaneously complete the task and monitor accuracy. Therefore, at the beginning of work, the teacher can reduce the demands on accuracy. This will allow the child to form a sense of success (and as a result, increase learning motivation). Children need to enjoy the task, they must increase self-esteem.
School programs, according to which our children study, become more complicated from year to year. The load on children is growing, the intensity of classes is increasing. Sometimes in 45 minutes of a lesson, students have to change their occupation 8-10 times. For children without deviations, this has a positive meaning, since monotonous, monotonous work is boring. But it is more difficult for hyperactive children to switch from one type of activity to another, even if this is required by a teacher or educator. Therefore, an adult needs to negotiate with the child in advance, preparing him for a change in occupation. A teacher at school, a few minutes before the end of the time for completing any task, can warn: «There are three minutes left.»
In general, the individual approach that these children need so much is a rather complicated matter and requires great effort, flexibility, and patience from teachers. It happens that teachers try, it would seem, a hundred options, and the child still remains “difficult”. So, we need to look for the one hundred and first option.
Here is one example
Hyperactive boy tortured teachers. They gathered at the teachers’ council and began to think what to do. And then the music teacher came to the rescue. She noted that the boy had perfect pitch and a very rare voice for his age. She invited him to the school choir, and advised her parents to send him to a music school. The child began to study music with pleasure and finally felt that he was doing something well. Parents who are used to the fact that their son, wherever he appears, only scolded, also perked up. It turns out that there is something to be proud of and something to praise. But hyperactive children are much more sensitive to praise than others. The boy «revealed», found his «I», and, if not immediately, but adults and peers began to notice the changes taking place in him. And the teachers, together with the psychologist, continued to observe the child and develop a new strategy for interacting with him. The number of shouts and remarks decreased and the behavior improved accordingly.
Many problems arise for teachers with the advent of a hyperactive child in kindergarten. Here, as in school, much depends on the behavior of adults, the strategy and tactics developed by educators.
The system of prohibitions must necessarily be accompanied by alternative proposals. For example, a child begins to tear the wallpaper (a fairly common manifestation). Of course, you should stop him and give him some unnecessary piece of paper instead: “Try to tear this one, and when you stop, collect all the shreds in a bag …”. Or he starts throwing toys, and the teacher answers: “In our group, you can’t throw toys. If you want to throw something, I’ll give you a foam ball.»
Many children with ADHD find it difficult to have quiet time in kindergarten. But if you try to be with them, not just next to them: “You sleep, and I will control”, but sit down, stroke, saying kind, affectionate words, then the child’s muscular anxiety and emotional tension will decrease. Gradually, he will get used to resting at this time of the day. And then he will get up rested, less impulsive, and sometimes even slept. Emotional and tactile contact will do their good deed.
Games for kids with ADHD
The article gives several options for games developed by psychologists specifically for children suffering from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. They are suitable for both homework and kindergarten. See →
nutritional care
A lot depends on nutrition. In some cases, it can even cause the development of the syndrome, while in others it can aggravate the course of the disease. However, one cannot rely entirely on dietary treatment, as scientists from the Institute for Nutrition at the University Hospital in Giessen write: “Diet helps many children lead a normal life, but not all. This, of course, is due to the complex of reasons that could lead to the development of hyperkinetic syndrome. In particular, if the disease is caused by the use of salicylates and food additives, such as preservatives and dyes, then eliminating them from the diet leads to a significant improvement in the health of the child. See →