Gas light, the type of manipulation that Rocío Carrasco describes in her documentary

Gas light, the type of manipulation that Rocío Carrasco describes in her documentary

Psychology

Gaslighting or ‘gaslighting’ a person implies a form of psychological abuse that consists of manipulating the victim’s perception of reality

Where to see the complete chapters of Rocío Carrasco’s documentary

«You are crazy and hormones and pregnancy are affecting your head» or «jealousy is driving you crazy» are some of the phrases that, according to Rocío Carrasco in the documentary ‘Rocío, tell the truth to stay alive’ Her ex-husband, Antonio David Flores, often said to her at the stage when she became pregnant for the second time.

These types of phrases and also others more commonly used such as: “Do not make dramas of everything” or “Stop being always on the defensive” can be anecdotal if they are used sporadically or in context, but if they are part of the usual dialogue in a couple, experts advise activating the alarms because perhaps we may be facing a case of gas light or ‘gaslighting’. As the psychologist Laura Fuster recently explained on ABC Bienestar, gas lighting is a form of psychological abuse that consists of manipulating the perception of reality. The manipulatorThrough strategies such as denying something that actually did happen, it succeeds in sowing doubt in the victim, who no longer knows what to believe and suffers from anxiety, anguish or confusion.

The three stages of the gaslight effect

To identify if a person is suffering from this type of handling the expert explains that the victim usually goes through three stages: idealization, devaluation and discard.

In the first stage, that of the idealization, the victim feels admiration for the person who is making him gas light, so he considers him the perfect companion. “It is something that can happen at work or in friendships, but when it occurs in couples, the victim falls blindly in love with the abuser and does not see any defect in him,” explains Fuster.

When the victim goes from being a person whom his abuser adores to being a person who, according to the criteria of his manipulator, is not capable of doing anything right, he passes to a stage of devaluation. She becomes desperate to try to fix things, while she begins to feel a deep mistrust of herself.

In the stage of discard the emotional abuser feels that he has achieved his goal and abandons the victim or, at best, keeps the situation trying to compensate from time to time with the occasional positive moment. But the problem is that his performance has generated strong emotional ties so the situation can be more difficult for the victim.

The effects on the victim

The victim of the gas light effect not only feels sad, insecure and inferior, but also leads to wonder if he is too sensitive, weak or if he really does not know how to enjoy life, according to the psychologist.

As to its comportamiento, he will constantly try to justify his actions while his abuser will manage so that that person ends up thinking that what is happening are his imaginations or that he should even apologize for it.

Relationships both with family members and with the circle of friends will deteriorate, as the manipulator will have made the victim have a negative view of them.

As Laura Fuster reveals, this type of emotional abuse it can be more difficult to detect than physical abuse both for the person who suffers it and for their environment. However, the expert invites you to work on clear guidelines. On the one hand, it is important to reinforce feelings because, as he clarifies, no one can tell you what are the emotions that you should have in certain situations and much less should one apologize for being sad or for being sensitive. And on the other, it is essential recover social relationships, talk about what you are feeling and learn about other points of view, or even consult a professional to identify if what you are experiencing is a form of manipulation.

The common traits of the manipulator

Some of the common features of people who could be carrying out this type of manipulation called gaslight are, according to Fuster:

They lie often and they do it in such a forceful way that they can make the victim doubt reality.

Deny reality if this does not suit them even though there is evidence everywhere and they do it with such vehemence that the victim may end up accepting their opinion.

First they crush you but then they flatter you. They will say that you are exaggerating, that you are crazy, but then they will try to compensate with a loving moment or positive reinforcement.

They will try to make you feel small or insecure about something that they feel insecure about, too.

They carry the manipulation to the environment and they are capable of lying to them to turn them against you or, they can even convince the victim that their loved ones are not to be trusted.

The origin of the term gas light

This term has its origin in a play of the same name in 1938 and the subsequent film in 1940. It is a play by Patrick Hamilton, premiered in 1938 in which Mr. Manningham tries by all means to drive crazy his new wife Paula (she hides things from him, lowers the intensity of the light, sneaks around the attic …) to divert his attention and thus find the hidden jewels of his former wife whom he murdered for that purpose. In 1940 it was made into a film under the direction of Thorold Dickinson, starring Anton Walbrook, Diana Wynyard and Frank Pettingell.