Article author Kirill Karpenko, educational psychologist, Krasnoyarsk, [email protected]
The article was published: School psychologist. — 2011. — No. 15
Many readers in the title of the article, for sure, noticed a hint at the cult «Games People Play» by Eric Berne. The famous American psychotherapist described many different games in his book. We want to complete this list with more games found in school life. But first, let us recall the main provisions of Bern’s concept.
Scarecrow
This game got its name from the film of the same name by Rolan Bykov, which shows this form of relationship. In the psychological literature, this game is usually described by the concept of «mobbing».
Mobbing (from the English mob — crowd) is a form of psychological violence in the form of harassment of a member of the team. Most of all, children who are somewhat different from the majority are exposed to mobbing: clothing style, physical disabilities, musical preferences, etc. Also, “newcomers” and migrants who do not speak the language are also at high risk of being ridiculed.
Mobbing can manifest itself in insults, threats, physical violence, a negative assessment of the victim and her activities, denial of trust, obstruction of the educational process (they hide the victim’s school supplies).
Not every mobbing is a game of Scarecrow. In this game, the driver is the victim herself, who derives all possible benefits from it. Another version of mobbing is described in the game «Flaw».
The film very well shows the widest arsenal of means by which the Scarecrow causes fire on himself. The driver provoked his classmates with his stupidity (“I didn’t understand anything then, I thought: they are glad to see me, but they laughed”), complaisance (a smile in response to the bandwagon, a response to “Scarecrow”), took someone else’s blame on herself (“ People need help.»
Got an eccentric haircut.
Probably the biggest gain from the game for the Scarecrow lies in the internal social sphere: although the driver is despised by everyone, thanks to the game he gets more “strokes” than the most popular classmates; The scarecrow is often the center of class life.
According to game theory, the whole process of education comes down to teaching the child certain games. Scarecrow probably also learns this game in the family: Scarecrow’s parents play «Beat me», «Why does this happen to me?», «Worn dress» and other games from this group.
The Sympathizer is a relative, friend, teacher, or school psychologist.
The antithesis to the game will be an indifferent reaction to the provocations of the driver. However, in this case, the indication of the antithesis is made purely for theoretical purposes. Since the Aggressors get a huge gain in the form of self-assertion in the game, it is almost impossible to convince children not to succumb to the Scarecrow’s provocations.
Transferring the Scarecrow to another class or school will not solve the problem: in the new class, the Driver will start the game from the first minutes.
The most promising will be work with victim behavior (behavior of the victim) of the driver. Actually, in the film by Rolan Bykov, it is shown how the heroine of Christina Orbakaite, in the course of introspection, was able to understand and, in conversations with her grandfather, voice her mistakes in communicating with classmates. By increasing self-esteem, self-confidence, and developing constructive communication skills, you can make the Scarecrow refuse to play. It may be useful to use the film «Scarecrow» in the course of corrective work.
It is also important to work with the parents of the driver, aimed at working out their games.
Analysis
Thesis: I am a scarecrow: beat me.
Antithesis: We don’t care about you.
Purpose: martyrdom.
Roles: Scarecrow, Aggressors, Sympathizer.
Social paradigm: Adult — Adult.
Adult: «I am who I am.»
Adult: «You look like your relatives.»
Psychological paradigm: Child — Child.
Child: «I am a Scarecrow: beat me.»
Child: «Well, hold on, we’ll show you!»
Moves: 1) provocation — violence; 2) suffering — sympathy.
Benefit:
1. Internal psychological — self-pity.
2. External psychological — avoidance of isolation.
3. Internal social — «Scarecrow».
4. External social — pastime «Why does this happen to me.»
5. Biological — exchange of transactions of contempt.
6. Existential — I’m always unlucky.
Flaw
Berne explained the following about this game: “This game is the main source of petty quarrels in everyday life: it is played from the position of the oppressed Child “I am good for nothing”, which the defense mechanism turns into the position of the Parent “They are good for nothing”. Therefore, the player’s transactional problem is the need to prove the last statement. Therefore, Flaw players feel insecure with new people until they find flaws in them. … The internal psychological benefit lies in overcoming depression, and the external one in the ability to avoid intimacy, which can clarify the flaws of White himself. White feels entitled to refuse to associate with an unfashionable woman, a poor person, a non-Aryan, a person who is not very educated or not self-confident, and also with an impotent person.
This is also a form of mobbing. In school practice, children usually look for flaws not in a group of peers, but in any one child. You can distinguish this game from Scarecrow by the reaction of the victim. The child who is the object of bullying in this game, although he derives some benefits from his role, is not a driver and loses much more from this game than he gains, therefore he reacts either with neuroticism, depression and suicide (a passive form of protest), or assertive behavior (active form of protest). assertive behavior — this is direct, open behavior, when a person calmly defends his rights [3, 421]. Externally, aggressive and assertive behavior may look the same, but the goals of actions allow them to be distinguished: aggression is aimed at destruction and domination; assertiveness is not intended to harm anyone, the goal is to protect one’s interests.
According to the rules of the game, the Victim must react passively. Assertiveness destroys the game, being the antithesis. We are aware of several cases where this variant of mobbing was stopped in this way. A school psychologist, of course, cannot take responsibility for suggesting physical violence to a student as a way to combat mobbing. But it should be noted that often it is only about demonstrating confidence, that is, if the Victim only shows determination, then the game will already be destroyed.
Here, as in the game «Scarecrow», it is necessary, first of all, to work on increasing the self-esteem and self-confidence of both the Victim and the Aggressors. Self-confident children do not bully others and do not allow anyone to mock them. The literature describes various exercises aimed at increasing self-esteem, for example: “Reconstruction of a positive image through childhood memories”, “I like you …”, “Boasts”, “Piggy bank of good deeds” [5]. You can recommend that children go in for some kind of sport: physical development increases self-confidence. We can advise you to watch the movie «Braveheart». This film is a vivid example of the difference between the motivation to avoid failure and the motivation to achieve success. Before the first major battle with the British, the Scots lined up on the field, but when they saw a huge enemy army, they spontaneously dispersed to their homes. When William Wallace arrived, they explained that this would allow them to avoid death (i.e. avoid failure). Wallace, on the other hand, managed to convince them to stay, to accept the fight, perhaps to die, but to die free (that is, to succeed). The Scots remained on the field, took the fight and won. Cheek brings success. For cinema therapy, the films The Last Samurai, Knockdown, Maestro with a Thread, Forrest Gump are also suitable. Most of these films have a lot of violence. But there is a lot of violence, especially in real life. And, in our opinion, films that show how people remain calm in the most difficult, dangerous circumstances have a beneficial effect on moral development.
It is worth noting that both games of mobbing are connected and can turn into each other. So the Scarecrow, with excessive aggressiveness of classmates, can feel like a real Victim and sincerely wish to stop the game. On the contrary, a child who has not voluntarily become a Victim of mobbing can very quickly appreciate all the advantages of his position and move into the role of a Scarecrow.
It must always be remembered that mobbing is a dangerous game and is not only a psychological problem, therefore it requires the participation of other specialists. If we talk about mobbing as a form of violence at school, and not just as a transactional game, then the methods of struggle can be the close observation of the school staff of what is happening on the territory of the school, the mandatory analysis of identified cases of mobbing, including with the involvement of police officers, parents and students not involved in mobbing. As a last resort, it is possible to transfer a child who is being bullied to another school.
In other words, adults should generally prohibit children from playing any form of mobbing. Lyudmila Petranovskaya: “…a confrontation is necessary. Not a confrontation with specific stupid children, but a confrontation with the rules according to which the strong have the right to beat the weak. Confrontation with bullying as violence, as a disease, poison, moral rust. With what should not be, what cannot be justified. With what any child should be protected from — and that’s the point » [4].
Analysis
Thesis: I’m better than you.
Antithesis: I don’t care about you.
Purpose: self-assertion.
Roles: Aggressors, Victim.
Social paradigm: Parent is child.
Parent: «Well, look how dirty he is»
Child: «I accidentally got dirty.»
Psychological paradigm: Child — Child.
Child: «Come closer, because against your background, my shortcomings are harder to notice.»
Child: «Don’t hit me.»
Moves: aggression is suffering.
Benefit:
1. Internal psychological — protection from depression.
2. External psychological — avoidance of intimacy, which can reveal the shortcomings of the leaders.
3. Internal social — «Flaw».
4. External social — pastime «Flaw».
5. Biological — the exchange of «strokes» of anger and fear.
6. Existential — I’m perfect.
Club
The purpose of this game is to satisfy the need for belonging and the need to feel unique. A group of guys announce that they have a club or something else, depending on the fantasy. With those who are not members of the club, they do not communicate or communicate only when necessary. They seem to have a certain secret that unites them; members of the club, as it were, are better than everyone else, they are somehow different from others. To get into the club, you need to pass one or more tests. Since club members themselves do not know how they differ from the rest, they cannot come up with rational tasks for applicants. Therefore, the tasks are given funny, difficult, requiring courage, for example: to sit the whole change in the toilet for teachers or walk around the school with the inscription «Kick me.» It should be noted that the fantasy of our schoolchildren is no worse than that of Harvard students. In American universities, the game «Club» has a long history and official design. There, an applicant for the club may be given the task of carrying a live chicken with him all day. The game, in general, is harmless, only such original entrance tests may not please the Society for the Protection of Animals and the head teacher for educational work.
Analysis
Thesis: We are the chosen ones.
Antithesis: We are the chosen ones too.
Purpose: self-assertion.
Roles: Chosen, challenger.
Social paradigm: Parent is child.
Parent: «Becoming one of us is not so easy.»
Child: «I’m ready for anything.»
Psychological paradigm: Child — Child.
Child: «It’s not so scary together.»
Child: «I’m scared alone.»
Moves: 1) demonstration of elitism — an application for participation in the club; 2) test offer — test completion (joining the club).
Benefit:
1. Internal psychological — satisfaction of the need for affiliation.
2. External psychological — avoidance of isolation.
3. Internal social — «We are the chosen ones.»
4. External social — «We have a club.»
5. Biological — the exchange of «strokes» of contempt and care.
6. Existential — I’m the best.
Literature
- Eric Bern. Games People Play. — Yekaterinburg: LITUR, 1999.
- Eric Bern. People who play games. — Yekaterinburg: LITUR, 1999.
- G. Kraig «Psychology of Development». — S.-Pb.: Peter, 2002.
- Petranovskaya L. When all are against one. — The first of September. – 2011/No. 3.
- Smirnova T. P. Psychological correction of aggressive behavior in children. — Rostov-on-Don: Phoenix, 2005.