Sometimes it can be very difficult to cope with the growing fear. You do not even fully understand what exactly you are afraid of, but the body and mind do not want to obey logic. It is likely that this is how you have an anxiety disorder. Is it possible to cope with it yourself if there is no time or opportunity to turn to a psychologist? Psychotherapist Amy Morin says.
If public speaking makes you nervous to the point of trembling in the knees, or the idea of flying in a plane makes your stomach churn, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. Anxiety isn’t always bad. Sometimes she tells us where to be careful and keeps us out of harm’s way. If you are asked to jump off a bridge or are trying to be drawn into a financial scam, anxiety will tell you that this will not lead to good, and will not allow you to make a mistake.
However, the problem is that it also appears when there is no real danger. When you go to an interview or review your family budget, you may also feel anxiety for no reason.
Knowing how to deal with it will help you enjoy life more. Your brain tells you to run away from everything that causes anxiety, and if you obey, you can miss a lot of opportunities. You need to learn to recognize which anxiety is true and which is false: when the heart jumps out of the chest, the palms sweat and it seems that something terrible is about to happen, but in fact the danger is only in your head.
I offer clients a variety of ways to deal with anxiety, from breathing practices that help relax the body to strategies that calm the brain, and I use many of them myself. One of my favorite techniques is narrative (descriptive) therapy. It allows you to give a material form to anxiety and thus cope with unpleasant sensations.
How it works
Of course, ideally, you should contact a psychologist or psychotherapist, but you can do something yourself.
- Imagine that anxiety is an external force. Instead of telling yourself, «I’m an anxious person» or «I’m nervous,» think of anxiety as something that worries you, rather than characterizes you. For example, say, «She makes my heart beat faster and makes me fuss and make rash decisions.»
- Give her a name. This is a very effective way to deal with it. I had a client who referred to anxiety as a «butterfly» or a «cloud.» This way of reminding you that anxiety is something that comes into your life and does not define your personality.
- Realize how it affects you. Say, for example: «A cloud may appear even now, during the interview» or «Butterflies may prevent me from doing what I am afraid of.»
- Name a weapon that helps you fight this condition. Think of all the times you didn’t listen to your anxiety and everything you did to get rid of it. Name the weapons you have used in the past and the new moves you will try. For example: «Breathing techniques will calm the butterflies» or «I can drive the cloud away if I remind myself that everything will be fine.»
By materializing your anxiety and starting to think of dealing with it as a battle, you can quickly and appropriately choose how to respond. In addition, it will help you accept the fact that when anxiety bothers you, you do not have to obey it, retreat, or lose heart. Like other skills, it takes practice. But it’s worth it, because you will start to think and feel better.
When is it time to call a professional
Moderate anxiety from time to time is quite normal, but when it is too much, it does not allow you to live life to the fullest. If anxiety prevents you from working or studying normally, or from achieving your goals, contact a psychologist or psychotherapist.
Anxiety is one of the psychological problems that is quite easy to deal with. But despite this, many people wait for many years before starting treatment. If you find yourself unable to manage your anxiety on your own, talk to your doctor. Find a professional who can help you release the feeling that is holding you back.
About the Expert: Amy Morin is a psychotherapist and author of 13 Things Mentally Healthy People Never Do.