Where do most of our problems and worries come from? British writer John Parkin proposes to declare war on the meanings that govern our lives. Ten ideas for an easy life.
1. Everything we hold dear can hurt us. For example, the more significant a person is, the more painful the separation will be. The more ambitious and interesting the new project, the more disappointed we will be if something does not go according to plan. Giving special significance to objects, we seem to wrap them in beautiful bright paper, under which pain and suffering are often hidden.
2. It is important to remember that no matter what happens, everything will be fine. This will help us let go of everything we hold on to too tightly. It’s also helpful to list everything we’re afraid of losing — jobs, relationships, watching our favorite shows before bed — and then tell ourselves, «I can do without it.» We need very little to survive. Losing some people and things can be really painful, but you can move on with your life.
3. Accept the world around you the way it is. We can’t change most of what annoys. We have no control over late buses, terrorists, incompetent politicians who start wars.
You just need to relax, understand what you really need, and changes will come by themselves.
4. The desire to say “Fuck it all for …” betrays our disappointment in the search for the meaning of life. We are looking for it in everything: in the profession we choose, in relationships with a partner. We worry about finding meaning in life and worry about its absence. However, it is these searches that cause us the very pain that we ultimately send to …
5. Give up the desire to improve this world, and you will immediately feel yourself relaxing, as if lying down to rest. Loosen your iron grip and your desire to change the world will disappear. And finally, having agreed with the real order of things, you will feel that you are overwhelmed with emotions, and you will want to say: “Fuck it all …”.
6. The doubt that comes with making a decision makes us feel stressed. You just need to relax, understand what you really need, and changes will come by themselves. Perhaps, as soon as you realize that you want to quit, a friend will call you and tell you about an open vacancy. Get rid of the expectations of others, follow only your own expectations.
7. Learn to see the beauty around. We tend to evaluate the world in terms of attitudes laid down by education. These attitudes distort reality. But if you leave them in the past and look at the world through the eyes of a child, you will feel a pleasant relief.
8. We often do not know what we want, and therefore we care about the opinions of others. But if a person sets himself a clear goal — for example, to become the goalkeeper of the England national football team — he will achieve it no matter what. Confident in his abilities, he will be able to ignore any criticism: “you better study,” or “get a real job,” or “you’re just wasting your time.” If we clearly know what we want and confidently move towards our goal, then we stop worrying about what others say.
9. The traumatic experience of the past often makes us refuse new opportunities. Some people are afraid to fall in love because their last romance hurt them. Others are afraid to follow their dreams because they once failed. Some are even afraid to leave the house, because one day something bad happened to them on the street.
10. I believe that a person should not be afraid of dangers, but be aware of their presence. That is the purpose of the signs with the inscription «Attention!» We are informed that the danger exists. It’s important to be aware that driving a car can be dangerous, but that doesn’t mean you should be afraid to get behind the wheel. It’s helpful to understand that it’s risky to cross a busy road, but being afraid to cross is pointless. It is wiser to ski with caution than to abandon this hobby altogether.
More details in the book by D. Parkin «Send Everything to … or the Paradoxical Path to Success and Prosperity» (Eksmo, 2009).