From vacation to vacation: how to maintain vitality

Refreshed, rested, full of energy – this is how we return from vacation. There are lucky ones who will have enough of this reserve of new forces until the next trip. But there are also many who lose it rather quickly. Sometimes almost immediately.

“I returned from Santorini,” Nadezhda, 28, said. – While riding from the airport in the express, there was still nothing. But I entered the subway, someone pushed me and did not apologize, everyone was running, their faces were gloomy … The mood instantly disappeared. On vacation – especially if it was a success – we open up, all the senses begin to work more intensively. This is a childish, very bright perception of the world.

But at the same time, our view of the world becomes a bit childish, idealizing. It seems that all people are kind, and the world is beautiful. We rejoice and expect others to rejoice with us.

We do not want to part with such a worldview. But it makes us vulnerable, and the signals coming from the external environment may turn out to be too strong, harsh. They make us rapidly slam shut, close – and often we remain so closed, “collapsed”.

In order to avoid painful disappointments, it is worth getting a little more together, looking around, understanding where we are now, what kind of situation is around (many people, cars are driving …) – and react accordingly. And a good mood to share a little later with close people who can sincerely rejoice for us.

Dreams of an eternal vacation

There are many who live from vacation to vacation, between memories of a wonderful past, where there are waves, sun, wind, and the prospects of the future, when it will be possible to drop everything and repeat these experiences again. Memories and perspectives are bright and inspiring, but in the present, the routine remains, it is practically erased.

Often we do not notice this and do not complain: we are used to it, it seems the most common thing. But we spend a lot of vital resources, they are depleted, and then we begin to feel various ailments, lethargy or irritation, and sometimes all together. These are signs that vitality is running out. I want to relax again, but the next vacation is far away. What to do?

There are those who have changed their lives in order to be closer to the “energy sources”. 42-year-old screenwriter Maria sold her Moscow apartment six years ago and moved to Bulgaria.

“I have been here every year for many years, until I realized that I don’t want to return to Moscow at all, I need more sun, more air. I bought two small apartments in Bulgaria, I rent one of them, I still write scripts and stories, because you don’t have to sit in the office for this. And at any moment I can go to the sea. You can say that I now have an eternal vacation, ”she smiles.

But not everyone is ready for such changes. Many of us are returning to our cities.

city ​​acceleration

We find ourselves in a habitual habitat, which has become a little unusual during the vacation … For example, let’s look at the simplest single-celled creature – an amoeba. While she is in a favorable environment for her, she moves slowly. But when conditions change, the amoeba begins to move faster and more erratically. We are, of course, much more complex beings, but something similar happens to us.

If the environment is not quite favorable, we unwittingly try to protect ourselves from it. We lower our eyes down, quicken our step, raise the collar – and at the same time the shoulders, the muscles tense up, breathing becomes superficial. This is a natural adaptive behavior. Advice to relax or breathe deeply will not help: how is this possible, for example, on the Moscow Ring Road?

It’s not about acting differently. To begin with, we need to notice exactly how we behave. Then our actions will cease to be unconscious and we will be able to control them. But this does not mean giving yourself orders: “Calm down! Feel good.”

We can act more carefully and more efficiently: for example, create different conditions for ourselves. “No matter how busy my schedule is, once a week I go to the spa,” says 56-year-old Anna. “I need not only procedures, but also time when I am busy only with myself.”

The rhythm of my “I”

It is hardly an exaggeration to say that almost all able-bodied residents of large cities are multifunctional. Upon returning to the city, the number of roles that we play grows exponentially. Within one day we are parents, subordinates and managers, drivers of vehicles and pedestrians, specialists and friends … Consequence: we often do not have time to be ourselves.

Winding up and twitching are just symptoms of what psychologists call the loss of contact with one’s “I”. On vacation, of course, everything is different. Our attention belongs to us, there we become the center of our own life.

And the bustle of the city quickly pushes us to the periphery of our own interests. “From vacation, without stopping home, I went to my mother because I felt guilty: I flew off to “cool off”, leaving my four-year-old daughter with her,” admits 32-year-old Svetlana.

Many of those who leave children or elderly relatives at home have similar experiences. A sense of duty, guilt, perfectionism, which requires “ideality” that goes against our interests – this is a separate topic, perhaps for discussion with a psychotherapist.

In any case, everyone needs to keep in touch with themselves. How to do it? To begin with, ask the question: how do I feel? Am I good now? How do I breathe? What do I see in front of me? By inscribing even small but regular pauses into the work schedule, we will be able to pay attention not only to numerous tasks, but also to ourselves. With the same pauses, you can arrange the transition from one state to another: for example, do not rush home immediately after work, but leave a few minutes to communicate with yourself.

Life in a metropolis can be compared to a choral singing: it is difficult to lead your own party when you hear many powerful voices nearby. Yes, it takes practice. But the result is worth it: we will be able to live at our own pace, and not rush along with the rest.

Vacation reminders

To a large extent, urban life consists of solving problems: professional, domestic, family. Most of the time we think about something – and pay almost no attention to sensations. This is also facilitated by the fact that among the stimuli coming from outside, not all are pleasant.

“I work in a noisy office,” complains 31-year-old Denis, “and our team is not very friendly. In order not to hear disputes, I put on headphones, but soon I stop noticing the music, it becomes the background. Harsh light, uncomfortable body position, unpleasant smells – if we cannot avoid them, then we simply turn off perception. And we often forget to “turn it back on.” So we find ourselves separated from our own body, “move” into the head, into thoughts.

But the joy of life and the feeling of “I live” come to us through the body, which is why it is important to regain the ability to feel. By the way, on vacation we can take care of it. “I bring blue dried flowers from Crimea,” says 27-year-old Ekaterina. “For a whole year they stand on the closet, like a small cloud, and when a glance falls on them, it becomes joyful: it’s like I’m returning to the slopes of Echki-Dag.”

For 35-year-old Boris, another channel of perception is more important. “When I travel, I buy local teas, herbs or dried fruits, from which I then prepare drinks,” he shares.

Nailya collects shells and stones on the coast to lay them out in her room, Irina travels around Asia and buys silver bracelets there, which she then wears, and Denis takes pictures – and exotic landscapes serve as wallpaper on the computer.

Each of us has his own way of collecting a piggy bank of pleasant experiences. It is not always possible to find it right away – but the search process itself becomes a source of pleasure.

Remembering your “I”, listen to the body, live in your own rhythm, take care of a favorable environment for yourself and regularly create conditions for recuperation – this is approximately the list of things that is necessary so that vacation becomes not the only salvation for us, but another pleasant part of our life .