By going beyond our own «I», we gain access to a deeper dimension of our personality. How to achieve this? Step by step to open up to the world and become closer to yourself.
Polina is 43 years old and holds a senior position in a government agency. Two years ago, she participated in a training where it was supposed to stage a professional conflict, and Polina got the role of a victim of conflict relations. In the evening, she told her friend about this — and suddenly realized: she did not play the role of a victim at all, but was one. Particularly with my husband. This is the reason for the crisis that their couple is now experiencing. “It was as if I saw myself from the outside — with all my infantilism, attempts to instill a sense of guilt and demands for a special relationship with me. I also clearly saw Armen, who constantly has to make excuses and strain to please me, which inevitably ends in outbursts of anger. It seemed to me that I watched a movie about our relationship — and grew up overnight. This deep and penetrating awareness of the situation did not instantly resolve our conflicts, but allowed us to take a step in the right direction.
- Can you be called an «emotional sissy»?
- Can you say «no»?
Expansion of consciousness
Look at the world from a new perspective, free from projections, fears and clichés. Access where we feel the liberating truth lies. In psychology, this phenomenon is called «insight», and it is close to what believers call revelation. There is indeed a lot in common between these two states: we are talking about such a change in consciousness that expands the boundaries of habitual thinking and gives us access to a new — more global, deeper and free from delusions — view of the world and ourselves. Going beyond your Ego, our little «I» — this is how these internal changes can be characterized. Perhaps our conscious self is really just a role that we chose for ourselves at an early age and which we got used to more and more over time and as a result of contact with others. In the end, we accepted this role as our true essence, for the fullness of our personality. However, in the words of Jungian analyst Carole Sédillot, “the conscious self is only a part of our personality. If we manage to go beyond it and throw off the social mask that we are used to wearing, we will have access to deeper, wider and richer layers of our inner world, which form the core of our personality and which Carl Gustav Jung called «self».
- Question to the expert: I don’t want to be a victim
profound change
The meeting with oneself, with one’s self cannot be the result of an effort of will, it occurs at the level of intuition and feelings. “At such moments, we are filled with a sense of harmony, the right note, enlightenment, we feel a connection with the absolute, with infinity,” explains Karol Sedillo. “Having arisen as a result of a deep inner transformation, it permeates us through and through and allows us to clearly see the main thing in work, relationships, love.” Jung believed that these insights are the driving force behind the process of «individuation», which allows us to become ourselves: «The goal of individuation is to free the self, on the one hand, from all false masks, and on the other hand, from the underlying power of our unconscious representations. »1. And the only way to speed up this meeting with yourself is to develop your receptivity and subtle understanding of the world.
- Blame poisons relationships
Where to begin? “Disconnect from everything that overwhelms our consciousness, our brain, and fully experience our own body,” advises Karol Sedillo. – Focus on your breathing, body movements, emotional and psychological sensations. All this allows you to open access to your own inner world. Listen to music, enjoy the scenery around, meditate, relax, indulge in your dreams — these states allow you to connect with our true «I». Meaningful coincidences that confirm our intuitions and directly answer our questions also serve as manifestations of the true «I». “They force us to reconsider established views and activate intuition. Through these signs, our self expresses its desires and needs,” adds the analyst. It remains only to listen to these clues, not allowing our fears and habits to drown them out. And this, by the way, is not so easy. “We should have listened to ourselves,” is how we sometimes think, having made the wrong decision under the pressure of our tyrannical “I” and ignoring the desires of the “I” of the true. “The influence of the self cannot be ignored: if it somehow showed itself, and you didn’t listen to it, it will definitely declare itself again,” Carole Sedillo is convinced.
This dimension of our personality goes beyond ourselves. It is so rich in possibilities and carries such a powerful truth about us that its voice cannot be heard. “Strong inner experiences, called to life by the true “I”, form our personality, they change our very essence, because it is they that allow us to know the feeling of harmony and completeness. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for?» the analyst concludes. We strive to join the Absolute and know the meaning, and this distinguishes a real full life from a mechanical existence.
1 C. G. Jung “Collected Works. Psychology of the unconscious” (Kanon+, Rehabilitation, 2013).