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In clinical psychiatry, sadism and masochism are invariably linked to the sexual aspect of human life. The terms themselves have a rather interesting history. So, back in 1886, the famous German psychiatrist R. von Kraft-Ebbing described these two types of sexual interaction, giving them the “names” of two writers no less popular at that time: the Marquis de Sade and L. von Sacher-Masoch. Why did literary geniuses serve such a lofty scientific goal? The thing is that it was in their works that these phenomena were first described.
The principle of dominance
Today, psychiatrists associate sadistic behavioral traits not only with physical satisfaction, manifestations of alarming tendencies are observed in any act of interaction between people. For example, the term “psychological sadism” appeared in psychology, which characterizes abusive relationships, separating them from manifestations of physical violence. If we start from the very first definition of sadism, as a sexual perversion, the purpose of which is to obtain physical pleasure through the submission of a partner and infliction of physical suffering on him, then we can give a fairly clear and simple definition of psychological sadism. Under the latter, experts tend to understand the receipt of moral satisfaction from the fact of humiliation and depreciation of a partner, causing him moral and mental suffering.
You are only to blame for the fact that I want to eat …
Sadistic traits are often mistaken for positive character rigidity, perseverance and adherence to principles, which radically changes the attitude towards the very fact of violence. It is the attitude of the “suffering” side that plays an important, sometimes decisive role in the act of sadism:
- The victims of such a sadist sometimes do not even suspect that they are in an extremely destructive and toxic relationship.
- They become dependent on their more powerful and stronger partner, lose the will to resist, the ability to think rationally and make their own decisions.
- By the way, psychological sadism is a common phenomenon not only between spouses, but also between parents and children, brothers and sisters.
- Gender and social role do not play any role for the sadist. Only the emotional return of the victim and its «survivability» are important.
- Sadists have no objective reasons for the manifestation of dominance and suppression of a partner. They are driven only by the desire to receive an emotional charge, to bring the interlocutor to vivid emotions.
How to deal with sadism if you yourself are a sadist?
Near-scientific articles about the fight against psychological violence are almost always devoted to algorithms of the victim’s behavior, her role in relationships and ways to resist the overwhelming side. The fact that the sadist himself may suffer from his role and wish to get rid of a harmful attraction is almost never mentioned in such materials. Sadists are predestined for the role of a predator, all of whose resources are directed only to obtaining satisfaction from «eating» their prey. People with a sadistic personality syndrome (and this is not just a beautiful combination of words, but a very real psychiatric diagnosis!) are stigmatized as energy vampires, abusers, parasites …
At the same time, according to research by the European Association of Psychiatrists, more than 70% of people with FMF independently turn to specialists for help in an effort to correct their own behavior.
Among the recommendations from practitioners for such patients are:
- regular physical activity that can reduce the level of emotional stress;
- rejection of bad habits that suppress the emotional-volitional sphere;
- frequent change of scenery and new impressions that distract from inner dissatisfaction;
- creative self-realization, designed to sublimate negative energy into the energy of creation;
- constant communicative contact with the environment, speaking out one’s own fears and needs, discussing and searching for compromise solutions in an open dialogue.