This is a special art: to have friends without them «having» you. The ability to be both self-sufficient and in demand, attractive to others is not immediately mastered. Here are some tips that can help you develop self-sufficiency:
Never argue or prove anything to anyone. You start to prove — you will only quarrel once again. Just do as you see fit. Judge yourself and others not by words, but by deeds: much will immediately become clear.
Do not interfere in someone else’s life unless you are asked to. And if they ask, then think ten times: is it worth it? Clearly separate your own and other people’s problems. If you don’t understand someone, that’s your problem. If someone does not understand you, this is his personal problem.
If you have nothing to talk about with others, don’t talk at all. Maybe it’s just not your environment. The new environment will appear gradually. You and only you decide with whom you communicate and with whom you do not. Friends come and go. The world is full of people, and you can always find new friends in it. If you do not want a friend to leave, then this is not a friend, but a friend. Remember: friends are held on, but friends are not kept.
If a friend needs to leave, then help him — he is your friend. If your friend has found himself a new circle of friends where you are not, this is his choice. Develop in yourself what makes you more interesting to your friends.
Develop your inner Good: a self-sufficient person is not a dreary loner, but a person who is happy both with others and without others. Get rid of the habit of being offended, resentment is something that you need to outgrow. If you can be offended, it means that you don’t think very well of yourself.
How to work with your grievances, see →
If you don’t have something, don’t look for it in others. Look for it in yourself. If you lack confidence, it’s worth being friends with a confident person not so that he supports you and solves your problems for you, but to learn confidence and determination from him.
Respect your judgments. If you have decided something, you do not have to explain it and prove that you have decided everything correctly. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. It doesn’t matter what others think of you. What matters is what you think of yourself.
However, do not blindly follow this advice. Probably, it is better to decide for yourself: whose opinion on what issues you should listen to, and whose opinion you should not.