A friendship break is similar to a romantic breakup, as the bonds established can be strong and resonate in us in a powerful way. When a friendship runs out of steam, when we face a clash that hits us or destabilizes us, certain steps must be observed in order to prevent this end of bond from hurting us too durably. How to deal with a friendly disappointment?

The bond of friendship is often underestimated in its strength and resonance in us. It is only when the bond is broken, sometimes with noise and drama, that one realizes the passion with which one had invested the friendship. The bonds of friendship between women are particularly strong, since they unconsciously involve the bond of the mother to the child that one experienced very young.

This is the reason why these feminine friendships can be so fusional, passionate, vital, and make you plunge into disarray and sometimes depression in case of betrayal, disappointment or abandonment. Strong friendships are important because they build us, have seen us pass key stages in our life. With a very good friend, we grew up, experienced strong moments, forged a bond that we sometimes thought was indestructible, and yet. Therefore, our relationship to others can be changed: how to trust again, when we have been betrayed or disappointed?

As in a relationship, it is necessary to go through a period of mourning, when you have to say goodbye to a friend. And it can be just as painful as in a relationship, which is not that different.

When a friendship breaks down, if one is not at the origin of it, one feels disappointed, abandoned, betrayed. There is sometimes a risk, in cases of fragility, of falling into depression, and of taking a long time to recover. Here are some steps to take so that you don’t get overwhelmed by the sadness of disappointment.

Accept

When you have dated someone intimately for months or years, not having them in your life overnight can be disruptive. First of all, you have to do acceptance work. Accept that the page is turned, that we will never see this person again, that our habits will have to change, that our benchmarks change, but that this may give way to other future links.

To question ourselves

There is never more than one “culprit” when a bond breaks. Everyone, in their own way, was able to participate in the rupture or in the disappointment. We must therefore identify what our responsibility is in this disappointment, so as not to reproduce any relational errors in the future. Finally forgive yourself, so as not to carry all the guilt on your shoulders.

Express what we feel

With the help of a confidant or a psychologist (if the discomfort is too strong), it is important to express what one feels during this friendly break-up, and not to minimize the impact that this one has on us. Crying, shouting out his anger, his sadness, talking about the past: anything is allowed, as long as it comes out.

Remember beautiful things

It goes hand in hand with acceptance. Recalling good memories with the lost friend makes it easier to turn the page and stay on a positive note before letting them go for good.

Heading for change

This is how we evolved differently and it led to clash or estrangement and disappointment. Life changes and so do people. Moving forward and accepting that the other does the same, is part of the remission following a friendly break-up. Change is also about meeting new people, and relearning to trust others.

Change one’s mind

Nothing like seeing other people who have nothing to do with the friend in question to clear their minds and stop ruminating on our disappointment. We can also do solo activities that make us feel good: sport, cinema, reading, or embark on a project that is close to our heart.

Ask for forgiveness

Even without waiting for a repair of the broken link, asking the person for forgiveness (or forgiving yourself) allows you to free yourself from the past of this lost friendship, and to move forward. We will thus make peace with the person concerned and we will feel better about ourselves.