Accepting or ignoring a request to add to your friends list is a common action for users. More often we agree to «be friends» than we reject the offer. However, the ability to save oneself also implies a willingness to say “no”.
Explaining friendship, declaring its existence is not particularly accepted. However, each of us has a need for social connections, establishing relationships with other people — this explains the popularity of social networks.
One family? We will gladly add our friends from real life to the list of friends on the social network, but many will be embarrassed by the offer of friendship from their own boss, mother or younger sister. Some of us easily ignore such requests, while others, though reluctantly, nevertheless acknowledge them. It turns out that the social network forces us to mix different areas of communication: work, friends, family? “Close people often expect that we will have no secrets from them,” notes psychologist Yevgeny Osin. — In fact, sometimes it is more pleasant for us to share our experiences with colleagues or barely acquaintances — whom we, perhaps, will not see anywhere except the Web. The way out is to set up groups of friends so that messages for a narrow circle are not seen by the rest.
Yours among strangers. Belonging to a certain group gives us confidence. However, social networks built on the principle “friends of my friends are my friends” impose on us the law of an ever-expanding group: ten, twenty, three hundred friends … “We accept everyone in our circle if we do not have a clear understanding of our boundaries and desires — what we are actually waiting; how good it will be for us,” says Evgeny Osin. “But if we clearly feel with whom we are ready to share our personal virtual space, it will be easier for us to delineate the boundaries of our group.”
Refuse and accept rejection yourself. It is not always easy to assert your individuality within the community, but this is precisely the art of being yourself. “Agreeing to be friends is easier than rejecting an offer,” notes social psychologist Ekaterina Dubovskaya. — After all, this is an action that is more approved by the team, understandable and without explanation. Refusal, a negative answer forces us to seek an argument (at least for ourselves) and therefore requires more effort. Saying “no” means being able to openly, without feeling guilty, explain your refusal to allow a person into some part of our life. And this implies our willingness to accept the rejection of other people. And we need both skills if we want to preserve freedom of choice.