Our reporter sat down with Pamela Druckerman, author of French Kids Don’t Spit Food, to talk about French parenting.
Yesterday my sister sent a message: “We have a night!” Her two-month-old son sleeps from eleven in the evening until half past six in the morning. Fantasy? Just not in France! It’s the norm there. How to create such a “miracle” is explained in an accessible and fascinating book by journalist and mother of many children Pamela Druckerman “French children do not spit food”, which instantly became an international bestseller. “We have sold 69 copies and we are confident that this is not the limit,” says Tatyana Smirnova, executive director of the Sinbad publishing house, which released the book in Russian in 2012 immediately after the original English version was released. No wonder «French Parents Don’t Give Up,» Druckerman’s new book on parenting secrets from Paris, is selling like hot cakes. “The first XNUMX copies sold out in three days,” continues Tatyana Smirnova. “I had to urgently order a second one by the time the author arrived.”
French Parents Don’t Give Up is one hundred miniature chapters, each describing one of the rules of French parenting. Druckerman describes the novelty as «the quintessence of the most intelligent things that I learned from parents, educators, psychologists and doctors in France.» “This is not a manual or charter, but just interesting ideas that are worth thinking about and possibly using, adapting them to your child,” the author emphasizes. No, Druckerman does not at all consider the French to be impeccable parents. Some of the things they do may even shock at first, but they are all dictated by common sense. So, it was the rule to “keep a five-minute pause” before running to a crying newborn that allowed my sister to teach her son to sleep through the night so early. “Babies sleep restlessly because they don’t know how to link the different phases of sleep. They need to be given time to learn this, ”the French say. Of course, this requires willpower, but isn’t the result worth it?
In fact, the second book is a summary of the first. Anyone who has carefully read «French children do not spit food», all the rules will be familiar. For some, the laconic format will seem more convenient, and for others, not so interesting and lively. The only thing that is not in the predecessor is examples of the menu of the Parisian nurseries with the favorite recipes of their pupils.
Pamela Druckerman about the principles of French education, which became a real gift for her.
Confidently say «no». “Perhaps this is the most important thing I have learned. In America, it is widely believed that a child is the embodiment of a free creative spirit, he cannot be limited. While French parents set clear boundaries for children, beyond which it is impossible. This improves the lives of both children and parents. For example, my friend and I are talking in the garden, my child is playing there. If he asks to play somewhere else and I confidently say “no” to him, arguing my answer (“I won’t be able to calmly talk”), then he continues to play happily in the garden. Both he and I are having a great time. Until I learned how to do this, the children moaned and spoiled the mood for themselves and for me.
Say «yes» as often as possible. “French upbringing is a combination of rigor and freedom. On the one hand, you designate clear boundaries of what is permitted. On the other hand, you give your child as much freedom as he can handle. Sleeping with grandma or a friend? Dressing, cleaning and even cooking? Yes, please!”
Treat your child like an adult. “Children understand speech as well as adults — this idea is very common in France. Therefore, you need to talk to them like adults, even if they are not two days old. For example, leaving, to warn what time you will return. Say «thank you», «please», «hello» and «bye». And even if this idea is wrong, it’s a great way to start building a relationship with your child.»