Frederic Begbeder: “I wrote that love lasts three years. And then he disproved himself

A dandy, a secular lion, an arrogant and cynical macho who portrays a sensitive melancholic in order to manipulate his flock, many representatives of the female half of humanity answer us with irritation. An elegant, educated, generous young man, funny and touching, they say from another camp (and sometimes from the same one, if they were lucky enough to spend a few hours in Begbeder’s company).

He was born into a good family: a mother from an impoverished aristocracy, a father of bourgeois origin, a recruiter and a reveler, who made it possible for his son to jump on the knees of Russian fashion models at the age of five. Since the age of 20, Begbeder has been organizing “provocative and moronic” parties with his Kaka Club (a club of illiterate pretty jerks).

Having become an advertiser, he denounces the wrong side of the environment that feeds him. But first of all, he conquers the literary world, where he plays all the roles at once: journalist, critic, friend of the authors, publisher, columnist, creator of the Flora Prize and a member of the jury of other awards And, of course, a writer. Begbeder began writing at the age of 8 to preserve for eternity the rare moments spent with his father after his parents divorced three years earlier. “Writer” in his eyes is a title that one can only dream of. And he never ceased to strive to win this title, while at the same time refusing to take himself seriously … and still believing in his writing.

And now a dozen novels have been written (two of them were awarded prizes), and his father still does not read it. But, as he himself admits, he “still feels like a little writer, although it’s not for him, of course, to talk about it.”

We meet him in Paris on Saint-Germain-des-Pres, in a cafe from the 30s. A slightly graying beard and a slightly tired look completes the look of a neat dandy: he does not like to grow old, which is a pity, because he is rather good at it. He is 51, third marriage, second child, a country house on the Atlantic coast of France … It is tempting to talk about maturity, although this word still does not fit him.

If you’re hoping to write about a nightclub drug addict who goes to live on a beach in the Basque Country, you’re in for a disappointment. It is easy to communicate with him: in front of me is a man with whom you can do without ceremony, who sincerely laughs and who always has a few quotes wandering in his head. A well-bred eternal child, he listens attentively to questions and takes care to answer each one at his leisure. Even when the question concerns the image of a scoundrel stuck to him.

Frederic Begbeder: All these clichés about me date back to the publication of my novel 99 francs, which was 15 years ago. But readers of my later stuff, or viewers of my TV shows, have a different idea of ​​me as a character. 30 years ago, I caused a lot of irritation, it’s true. I cultivated “aristocratic pleasure: not to please the public,” as the poet Charles Baudelaire called it.

And, I must admit, I succeeded in this! I do not like exemplary characters, I prefer anti-heroes: Werther Goethe, Adolf Benjamin Constant, Don Quixote … I write satire, but they take it for an autobiography, and vice versa. Perhaps this causes misunderstandings.

So what, you portray a bastard out of false modesty?

No, it’s more of a cry for help. I talked for a long time about myself that I was an ugly worthless jerk, in the hope that I would be refuted: “No, come on, you are handsome and smart, Frederick!” As they say, asking for compliments. It’s such a slightly twisted way of looking for love. Unfortunately for me, it didn’t work: I was taken literally. Well, okay: I like provocations.

To isolate yourself from your surroundings?

Yes, I definitely had a desire to shock the bourgeois and not confirm expectations. And this desire does not leave me until now. Let’s say here at Psychologies I would certainly want to encourage the use of alcohol and stimulants, just out of a spirit of controversy. It’s interesting, contradictions, isn’t it? By nature, I am rather shy, so when I decide to go crazy or see others doing them, I feel a great sense of liberation. To feel free: that’s the only thing I aspire to.

To the point of seeking freedom in excess?

It’s probably childish, but so what? Yes, I tend to overindulge. Nevertheless, I consider myself a person who has a healthy mind and a healthy body. And I find strange this current regression of society, in which holidays and pleasures are stigmatized with inimitable hypocrisy.

What if your 16-year-old daughter started sniffing cocaine on the hood of a car?

I dare to hope that her father’s somewhat ridiculous behavior will set a negative example for her! And yet, I think we need to urgently ask ourselves what pleasure is for us today, in a society where magazines like yours tell us how to live, and the yellow press becomes a tribunal where men who cheat on their wives are tried. All this rests on an ideological catechism worse than that of the curé in my childhood school.

When you distributed the Manifesto of 343 Scoundrels against prosecuting clients of prostitutes, was that also an outright provocation?

It was not my idea, but Catherine Millais. I note with regret that feminists are divided into two camps: those who are favorable to the protection of the rights of prostitutes (we understand each other), and Puritan feminists, influential in power, who believe that prostitution can be destroyed, not asking the opinions of prostitutes.

Meanwhile, the problem is not venal love, but the fact that many are unhappy sexually. Sometimes I am accused of machismo or misogyny, but how, tell me, the father of two daughters can not be a feminist?

Well, if this person also runs a men’s magazine that has naked women on the cover, that’s a moot point!

It seems ridiculous to me that in our time, photos of famous women can shock someone on the cover. You might think that the sexual revolution of the 60s and 70s was just a brief episode. LUI magazine is a tribute to female beauty. Showing the naked female body has always been a way for painters and sculptors to celebrate beauty, I didn’t invent it.

And when you compare the current version of LUI with what it was in the 70s, you can see how much the magazine has settled down. Yes, I am for freedom and pleasure, and not for a paternalistic society that forbids people to smoke, drink, have sex; Soon foie gras will be banned. I find this way of making people feel guilty is unacceptable. Is this happiness, tell me?

Have your excesses brought you happiness?

No not always. There comes a time when having fun and hanging out every night becomes as boring as sitting at home forever and not going anywhere. When I was in high school, the cartoonist Reisei had just released an album called “Fat Disgusting”, where the main character in dangling underpants with balls sticking out of them declares: “Happy people piss me off!” Even though I’m rather happy with my life now, I still agree with Racer: happy people not only annoy me, but also tire me. I avoid boredom.

Boredom or depression?

I do not think that I am a depressed person, rather I am a melancholic person with a tendency to cyclothymia. If I had depression, I didn’t know it: after my first marriage failed, I described my sorrows in Love Lasts Three Years and also in The Romantic Egoist. Rereading them, I say to myself: “This dude is really bad!” But then they didn’t diagnose me and didn’t treat me, except that I treated myself …

Addictions are very closely related to the fear of boredom and emptiness, right?

Yes. But, you know, I am very susceptible and will remain subject to the end of my days of this disease: the fear of boredom. I think the successful life is one in which all social obligations are avoided. For several years now I have had a house in the Basque country, and there I organize for myself an existence in which there is the possibility of contemplation. For example, I have a hammock there, in which I lie and gnaw pistachios.

Listen, here’s a piece of advice to your readers: when you eat pistachios, you can’t do anything else but open them, put them in your mouth, chew them, take the next nut… It’s very effective. Absolutely useless activity for the brain, but an excellent antidepressant. And every day (or almost) I watch sunset and twilight over the sea, and until the age of forty it didn’t even occur to me.

In short, after two meetings, I told her: “Well, I told you everything, there is no point in seeing us again.” She answered me: “On the contrary, we need to see each other twice as often.” Then: “Three times more often.” And so on until the moment when, seven years later, she announced to me: “Well, now you no longer need to go to me.”

I was a little sad that everything is fine with me now! (laughs) I love talking about myself so much that psychoanalysis seemed extremely interesting to me!

What did you take away from it for yourself?

He taught me one of the most important things in life: to say no. I used to be able to run all day long wherever I was invited, although I was not at all interested in it. And the day I learned to say no, I found a lot of time for myself and for what I really like. It completely changed my life. I thought you should always say yes to be loved. So here is my second piece of advice to your readers: refuse everything that is offered to you.

In the novel on which you made the film Ideal (2016), you write: “At a time when a beautiful woman became a trophy, some parties are like a thoroughbred dachshund exhibition: the prize went to the one with the freshest bitch walking hand in hand.” You have since married an amazing 25 year old woman. Is this all your spirit of contradiction?

Thank you for such words about her, but again you are confusing the character of the novel and its author. In order not to evade the answer, I will quote Una O’Neill. She wrote about her marriage to Charlie Chaplin, who was three times her age: “He made me mature, and I let him stay young.” In general, I am a supporter of couples in which partners are from different generations.

I tried to live with the women of my generation – who had the same unsolvable problems that I had – and we always fought. My third piece of advice to your readers: ladies, marry men 25 years younger than you, and vice versa. Living with an alien who has completely different ideas and landmarks is so exciting!

Did two divorces turn you away from the institution of marriage?

No, I need to be married, my “old school” side demands it. In this regard, I feel the need to do the right thing. And then, having written that love lasts three years, I naturally wanted to refute myself and proclaim: “No! With you it will last forever!” Such a romantic bet.

Do you have the feeling that you have already solved enough problems and now you can become a sedate married person?

(Thinks for a long time). Something has changed, something is holding me back now, but I don’t know what it is. I explain this to myself by meeting a woman who managed to save me from all other women. These are not just words, this is a real physical experience and a great relief.

You can’t imagine it because you are a woman, but being a man is exhausting: you are constantly turned on by sexual images, figures, looks, a stunning leg, a flashing collarbone … Since Lara appeared, I have left myself the sensual pleasures of a voyeur, but further this is not going. And it’s very, very comforting.