Framework of the synton approach

In counseling, as well as training and literary work, the synton approach is defined by the following framework:

Positive

We do not needlessly load fears, people with a positive worldview are more successful.

We do not hang negative labels on people without an evidence base: perhaps we are not a workaholic, but a person who loves his job. We do not support the tradition in people to see mainly neurotics and accentuators.

We prefer opportunities to problems. Talking even about serious problems may be appropriate if such a conversation motivates a person to vigorously intelligent deeds, but the possibility of success motivates as well, and motivates with better prospects.

Don’t talk about problems if you don’t know why. We only talk about problems if we have a solution or are on our way to it. Note that in this case it is more appropriate to talk about tasks.

The synthon approach does not welcome negativism. There are many things in people, and it is wrong to look for weaknesses, meanness and problems in them first of all, pushing them to the need for psychotherapy. You need to see everything in people, but it is more worthy to show people their strengths and capabilities, focusing on personal growth and development.

If we talked a lot about problems, dirt, difficulties and fears, and in the end we briefly said that everything would get better, the real suggestion was negative. Sometimes it’s inevitable, but if it wasn’t necessary, we were wrong. The final impression of our texts and our work with people is purity, light and joy!

Constructive

It is possible to solve problems effectively when the causes of problems are understood, but digging into the causes of problems where you can simply solve the problem is fundamentally wrong and ethically unacceptable. People do not need explanations of what happened, but algorithms for solving the future.

People like to delve into reasons to delay the moment of the case, but we only support active and constructive initiatives. If a person wants to “figure out” and “understand” without having the task of acting, only for the self-comfort of the soul, this is empty. We do not deal with explanations of the causes of problems where, instead of explanations, the problem can be solved and the situation corrected. If the decision on the action changes from the analysis of the reasons, the analysis is needed. If the result can be arrived at without digging into the causes, digging is not necessary.

Motivating to act — we explain. If a person “does not understand” the explanation, because he is looking for an opportunity not to act, we no longer explain. In this situation, we offer a choice: either the person acts, trusting the professionalism of the psychologist-consultant, or we do not work with him. We are consultants, not nannies.

Responsibility

Only those who take responsibility for it change their lives. In the synthonic approach, we do not shift the responsibility of a person to his Psyche and the Unconscious, we do not hope for miracles, the Universe, Karma, Higher Forces and other Essences. The synton approach considers it right to support first of all those who live as a responsible person, in the position of the Author, and it is dangerous to support those who live irresponsibly, in the position of the Victim.

It is irresponsible to encourage a person to do something for which he has no tools: we give people tasks that are behaviorally feasible for them.

Those who work in the synton approach adhere to this framework. These frameworks are both limitations and freedom at the same time. These are our self-restraints in the name of the people we work with, self-restraints in the name of their development. And this is our freedom: freedom from the stereotypes of detailed texts and the usual zaumi (transrational language).

At the same time, it is important to identify areas where the synton approach does not work well and psychotherapy is more appropriate. Psychotherapy is needed by clients whose mental, mental and physical state makes normal psychological counseling unrealistic. These may include clients in a state of affect or easily falling into it, clients with a serious addiction or depression, clients with rigid problematic beliefs, especially with the attitude “I am right — everyone else is wrong and to blame.” Often these are those who do not want to leave the position of the Victim, clients with unconscious, but serious benefits in their neurosis. Strong bodily clamps or low intelligence — here. And also — a variety of bad habits or severe neurotic reactions that make a person low social and exclude normal work in a psychological group.

1. About feelings

1. The real engine of a person’s life is his feelings and desires.
   
2. An emotional reaction is a natural and innate reaction that expresses our personal attitude to what is happening. See →
3. There are no bad emotions. See →
4. Feelings don’t lie. See →
5. Suppressing emotions is bad for health. See →
6. If the negative emotions that have arisen are not expressed, they accumulate and injure the psyche. See →
7. Forbidding fears is driving them inside yourself. See →
8. Emotions live in contrast: if you remove negative emotions, a person will stop feeling joy too. See →

2. About the feeling of love

1. First of all, you need to create a family for love. See →
2. If there is strong love, then the relationship will definitely develop! See →
3. Love can be promised, but love cannot be negotiated. See →
4. Love cannot last forever. See →
5. Feelings do not command.

3. Feelings and reason

1. Listening to your feelings is more important than listening to your head. See →
2. The best solution is the intuitive one. See →
3. When in doubt, listen to your heart! See →
4. Thinking all the time is bad. See →
5. He who thinks too much is not happy. See →

4. About human psychology

1. From birth, a child is a person. See →
2. Introverts are born. See →
3. An attempt to change your character and psychotype only multiplies the number of internal problems. See → See →
4. Only those who have problems go to psychologists. See →

5. About love for children

1. Love for a child must be unconditional. See →
2. Suppressing emotions is harmful, so allow children any negative emotions. See →
3. Physical punishment of children is unacceptable because it breaks their psyche. See →
4. Sexual abuse experienced in childhood is a severe psychological trauma for the whole future life. See →
5. Every child needs, at least in childhood, unconditional love. See →
6. Children who are not loved in childhood cannot build relationships in adulthood. See →
7. Children should not be deprived of their childhood. A child whose parents deprived of childhood, deprived him of freedom, joy and future happiness. See →

6. How to educate you can, and how not

1. Rigid discipline kills the creativity of children.
2. An obedient child is cause for alarm. See →
3. Completely obedient children will never become leaders. See →
4. Pressure is a path to conflict and loss of contact. If the child loses contact with you, you need to reduce the pressure on him. See →

7. Is it necessary to raise children?

1. Children must make their own decisions about their lives. See →
2. The mindset of “matching parental patterns” is the wrong way to raise a child. See →
3. Good kids are problem kids. Children should be natural, and not the way adults would like to see them! See →
4. You need to be friends with a child, not educate. See →
5. The best way to educate is to educate yourself and educate your child only by example. See →
6. Imposing something on children leads to the opposite result, to an internal rejection of it. See →
   

8. About happiness

1. All people strive for happiness. See →
2. Whether we are happy or not is determined primarily by the events that happen to us. See →
3. People are happy when they get what they want. See →
4. Whatever people do, in the end everyone takes care of himself personally. See →

9. About success

1. Only freed from the influence of society, you can find your way in life. See →
2. You need to figure out what goals are yours and what society has imposed on you. Only you can find your way! See →
3. Those who follow the path of social success are forced to give up their I and deprive themselves of happiness. See →
4. Anyone who has found his calling in life always has the energy to do his job! See →