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Foreplay is very important. In order not to fall into a routine, it is sometimes worth introducing some changes to your intimate life. Thanks to them, sex will become more exciting. What should foreplay be like for him and her? Here are some suggestions.
Foreplay – why is it worth it?
If the erotic life is not as exciting as at the beginning of the relationship, it is worth choosing a foreplay that will diversify your current sex. There are several methods that will allow you to get out of the “bed” routine. However, in order for the foreplay to go smoothly, you need to prepare for it.
First of all, you should take care of the right atmosphere. Dim light in the bedroom, soft and relaxing music – these are the elements that favor foreplay. Then choose a suitable place – a bed, mattress, or blankets spread out on the floor.
See also: Oral sex – technique, security, risks
Foreplay for her
When it comes to foreplay for a woman, there are many options. One of the options is erotic massage. To make it, you can use a regular baby olive or grape seed oil to which you should add a few drops of aromatic oil. When it comes to oils, the essential oil works great for men: sandalwood, lemongrass, nutmeg flower.
For women, jasmine, bergamot, orange and ylang-ylang are good for stimulating. For relaxation, it is worth using the following oils: geranium, rose, lavender and sage.
Foreplay massage
At the beginning of the massage, the partner sits down behind him, and then slowly presses his hands on his neck and shoulders. Then, with just your fingertips, it delicately forms circles on the temples and around the hair. When your partner feels well relaxed, they should lie down on their stomach. Then the partner sits on him and slowly runs her hands over his thighs and calves several times. Then he focuses on massaging the legs and buttocks.
The next step is back massage – here you can use pressure and stroking – the higher the pressure is stronger. At the end of the foreplay, the woman moves her hands from the shoulders to the buttocks and to the sides, and then hugs her whole body against her partner.
It is worth using aromatic oils for erotic massage:
- stimulating massage oil Awake Intimate Earth;
- sensual massage oil Sensual Intimate Earth;
- energizing massage oil Energize Intimate Earth.
An interesting diversion can also be special candles such as the Senze Blissful Swede herbal massage candle or the Senze Teasing Swede massage candle with chili and vanilla.
Foreplay – caresses
Another element can be delicate but firm caress partner’s body. When the man feels a surge of excitement, he should turn around and lie on his back. The woman runs her hands along the sides and across her chest – starting from the armpits and the inside of the arms. Then, in circular movements, he moves his hands over his stomach, making bigger and bigger circles and getting closer to the intimate zone. Then, the partner massages the partner’s feet, on which there are many points sensitive to touch.
The movements of a woman’s hand should be gentle but decisive at the same time. By massaging her finger on the toe, she also focuses on the skin between the toes and on the inside of the foot. She then rests her foot on her breasts and massages the area below the ankle, slowly approaching her partner’s intimate area.
Another suggestion for foreplay is a shared bath. It is best to do it before the erotic massage, but it all depends on the preferences of the partners. The bath soothes and relaxes.
By massaging your partner’s body with a foamed sponge, you can cause chills or mild excitement – both psychological and physical.
Find out more: What is anal sex?
Foreplay for him
The foreplay partner may also use massage. The man sits down and the woman lies down, resting her head on his thighs. The partner starts the massage from the face – gently massaging the skin with his fingertips, and then moves to massage the area around the ears, especially the turbinates.
It then focuses on the head and neck, neck and shoulders. With smooth movements, he moves his hands over his partner’s neckline and breastbone. Then his fingers stroke his partner’s belly and feet. After a while, the partner lays down on her stomach, and the massage focuses on the buttocks and back, which can be stroked, lightly kneaded and even pinched. At the end of the massage, the partner touches the woman’s entire body with his fingertips.
Foreplay for couples
Foreplay – kisses
Kisses are a great part of foreplay, because they affect the secretion of oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin. These compounds, in turn, affect the reduction of the concentration of the stress hormone, i.e. cortisol. In addition, kisses are very effective in sexual stimulation, and also strengthen the bond between partners and allow you to relax. However, it is not a good idea to focus solely on your lips during foreplay. You can also kiss, for example, the neck, shoulders, back, thighs, stomach or breasts. It is worth knowing that kisses are most effective in places where the skin is a little thinner.
At the beginning of the foreplay, avoid the most intimate places and leave them for the very end.
Foreplay – teasing while undressing
Before intercourse takes place, couples are usually already naked, so it is worth using the element of undressing yourself beforehand. Then you can let your imagination run wild and be creative. It’s a good way to build up tension. You can, for example, use your teeth and use them to pull off other parts of your partner’s clothing, or by kissing the places on each part of the removed clothes. Nothing prevents you from being caressed while throwing off your clothes.
Foreplay – dance
Dancing can also be a very good part of foreplay. You can also use striptease. In this case, it is worth using sexy underwear or try to play roles.
Foreplay – extras and gadgets
The use of gadgets is a great idea. They can make it easier to break the routine and allow you to open up to new experiences. They can be combined with other elements of foreplay and, for example, the use of strawberries in chocolate or whipped cream can be used to play with feeding and licking (strawberries have aphrodisiac properties). However, it is better not to use diuretics such as watermelon as they can spoil the climate.
Gadgets can also be useful, for example, when a man has a problem with maintaining an erection. In such cases, special pressure rings that retain blood in the body or those that are equipped with a clitoral stimulation tip will be useful. This will help not only the gentlemen, but will also provide a greater experience for the ladies.
In addition, there is nothing to prevent you from using, for example, blindfolds. Thanks to them, we lose one of our senses, but other senses become more acute.
What a couple’s foreplay consists of is entirely up to them. A successful sex life is only possible if you honestly talk to each other about your needs and preferences. Foreplay is not only the elements described above, because it does not have to start only after crossing the bedroom threshold. Foreplay can also be a dinner together, complimenting each other or giving gifts. All of this translates into our mood and can increase our desire for sex. The aforementioned bedroom does not have to be the only place for intercourse, for variety you can use the couch in the living room or do it in the bathroom.
It is worth remembering that sex brings many health benefits, increases libido, reduces stress and relieves pain.
Be sure to read: Sex – Is It Still Taboo? Sexual positions, erotic massage, gadgets, contraception methods
Foreplay effects
Foreplay not only can cause a strong excitement in partners, but in case it can have a positive effect on better blood supply to the genitals, such as the clitoris or vagina, which translates into greater mucus production. The mucus, in turn, helps women avoid pain during the initial stages of intercourse. However, proper foreplay is also a greater sensation in a man during penetration, because the excitement in a woman also causes a narrowing of the vaginal opening (even up to 1/3 of the width).
Interestingly, many couples even give up full intercourse in favor of foreplay, which gives them so much pleasure and diversifies their previous sex lives. It even has a name: “white sex.”
Thanks to foreplay, you can get better hydration before the actual intercourse. You can also opt for moisturizing gels, which will be useful in the case of vaginal dryness or as a diversification of intercourse. Examples of such products include the Med Repair Pjur regenerating lubricant and the Überlube silicone lubricant in a glass bottle.
It’s worth remembering that foreplay is a great opportunity to get to know each other better, which translates into a successful relationship. People who have quick sex usually do it to discharge the energy and tension throughout the day without paying attention to the other person’s needs.
Length of the foreplay
The length of the foreplay depends on the preferences of the partners. This is usually the shortest in the case of young people (adolescents), where it is probably due to impatience, stress or fear, and in the elderly where it may be due to fatigue. It takes much longer for middle-aged people. According to statistics, more than half of Poles spend up to 20 minutes on foreplay, and about 3 percent spend more than an hour on it. However, please note that there is no time frame for how long the foreplay should be, it all depends on the preferences of both partners.
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Erotic massage techniques
Erotic massage is one of the most common elements of foreplay. Various techniques can be used during it.
- Stroking – perfect for the very beginning of foreplay. We have to press flatly against the body and move it with long smooth movements over the skin. Thanks to this, we will make our partner relax and distribute the oil well;
- Patting – involves the use of slaps with an open hand. Tapping has a very positive effect on blood circulation, of course, if we do not put too much force into it. The massage technique is recommended for strongly muscular body parts, such as buttocks, thighs or calves;
- Wheels – consists in making a circle with either thumbs or hands lying flat (thumbs, however, allow more pressure). They warm up and relax the muscles. This technique is used on the back, neck, shoulders and insides of the feet;
- Kneading – a very good technique for circulation and performed with the use of whole hands, thumbs (e.g. when massaging the muscles on both sides of the spine), fists (e.g. for the thighs and buttocks) or knuckles (preferably for massaging e.g. legs, arms, inner sides of feet, shoulders). It consists in making movements similar to those during the kneading of the dough. While massaging, you should gradually increase the pressure force;
- Scratching – a technique performed with nails (buttocks are the perfect place for this). However, remember that the nails should be previously filed and not sharp. You shouldn’t use too much force when scratching. The technique itself is based on lightly brushing the skin at first, then doing it harder and harder, from top to bottom and vice versa.
- Compression – a technique that warms the muscles very well and stimulates. It consists in grasping the body of the other person with all hands, then tightening and loosening the grip (be careful with applying the appropriate force). While compressing, make circular movements in a clockwise direction;
- Feathering – it consists in gently stroking the partner’s body with the fingertips only. However, it is very easy to start tickling the other person. This technique not only relaxes but also excites.
How to persuade a partner to play foreplay?
Some people just don’t care about foreplay. Sometimes it can be because of being lazy or selfish, and sometimes it can be because of not having faith in your own abilities or not knowing how to go about it. Saying what we want in bed isn’t always easy, especially if we’re worried that we might hurt the other person in some way. Here are some tips to help make this a little easier.
- Start with the positives.
Rather than mentioning what the other person isn’t doing, it’s better to start by saying what they’re doing right and what you want more, such as: “I love it when you kiss my neck before sex. I could let you do it all night. “
- Don’t blame.
Saying that your body wants something different will be much better than saying that what your partner is doing is not satisfying you.
- Show and tell.
Sometimes some people need extra encouragement. The next time you hug or kiss, hold your partner a little longer and tell him how good you are. Watching a movie together, for example about tantric sex, can make the other person realize what it is, especially if the lack of foreplay is related to a lack of knowledge.
- Ask your partner what he wants from you.
Tell him / her how much her / his willingness turns you on. Then ask if he / she would like to do more. This is a great way to start a dialogue so that both of you can share what you want.
- Tell your partner why this is important to you.
You may need to get all the cards on the table and make the other person understand why you need the foreplay. A few points worth mentioning: it helps you get wetter / harder; it helps you to reach orgasm or have stronger orgasms; Not all get aroused at the same time, and some take longer than others; it helps you feel closer to your partner.
Also read: Sex Addiction – Can You Get Addicted to Sex?
Foreplay and food
Food and sex have a lot in common – they are sensual, nutritious, and have great potential for variety. One of the easiest and most delicious ways to literally spice up your sex life is to combine sex with food and add edible ingredients to your bedroom routine.
- Let it be sweet and light.
Something needs to be clarified. Foreplay with food is an appetizer and sex is a meal. So let’s focus on sweet and light products, not heavy and sharp (sharp products can get into the eyes and burn us). If you like healthier products, try pieces of fresh seasonal fruit such as cherries, strawberries, or mango slices. If you prefer sweets, play around with ice cream toppings such as caramel sauce or cream or marshmallow. You might as well combine them too. The couple can feed each other with their hands or use their bodies as plates. However, it should be remembered that there should be little food.
Eating too much food before sexual intercourse can lead to: drowsiness, reactive hypoglycaemia, and even motion sickness. If we’re hungry, maybe just eat something earlier.
- Better keep food away from intimate places.
The vagina and eating areas are not mixed up for a variety of reasons, including possible infections, skin irritations, and let’s be honest, sticky pubic hair. If we use plain ice, we don’t need to cover anything. Otherwise, the safest way to stimulate your partner is to keep all the food above your waist. There is nothing to worry about as there are many safe erogenous zones.
- Engage all your senses.
Bringing food into your bedroom engages your senses, and it’s not just about the taste. It’s a good idea to use foods that smell and react well with bare skin. To keep it hot, try foods that you can warm, such as chocolate or honey. You can also go the other way with ice lollies, frozen grapes, or just plain ice. You can play with this food, whether hot or cold, by moving it over sensitive areas such as the neck, ears, nipples and mouth. At the same time, not forgetting to use your hands to stroke, caress and massage your partner, especially below the waist, where eating is prohibited.
- Allow yourself to be creative.
Good oral sex is all about varying the pressure and speed with your tongue and mouth. Having fun with your food is the same.
Instead of just licking food off your partner’s body part, try sucking the cream off his finger or gently eating the honey from his body while lightly nibbling on it (if he likes it). You can also start with simple lip movements, making sure that your warm lips completely wrap your skin around your skin.
- Get ready.
Put towels or sheets which you can easily get dirty if necessary. Bring napkins and even baby wipes. Ideally, you should lick your fingers (or other parts) clean before doing anything else. And it’s better not to forget to keep the usual sexy things nearby – condoms, lubricant and any toys.
- Have fun.
“Fun” is a key part of foreplay. Be creative with the way you use food when having sex with your partner. Tease yourself with small bites. Pour the honey on yourself and lick it off slowly, then let your partner lick it off. Make a bikini out of whipped cream with cherry nipples on top. And don’t be afraid to laugh at each other. You might be surprised how something that starts silly can end up sexy.
- Clean up after yourself.
Collect all plates, utensils, leftovers and food-stained clothes or bedding so you don’t have to worry about a huge mess later. Then go to the shower and help your partner clean those hard-to-reach areas.